With the hype surrounding Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” and the debate of whether it should be interpreted as a rape anthem, I have had a lot to think about in terms of feminism and social activism.
While I hesitate to linger on the problematic nature of Thicke’s performance with Miley Cyrus, it merits mention. The lyrics of “Blurred Lines” raise many questions about the implications of party anthems, not to mention the visual juxtaposition between the two stars. Thicke (a married man of 36), stands fully clothed singing words questioning a woman’s ability to resist him while a scantily clad , 20-year-old Cyrus rubs against him.
I cannot deny Cyrus her right to express her sexuality however she desires, but the combination of Thicke’s song and the image of them on stage exacerbates the lack of respect for women and their choices that the song implies.
We are missing the importance of the ability to refuse.
After watching the performance, I couldn’t help but think of the children who tuned into the Video Music Awards. It made me question the way we educate of the importance of consent from a young age. Though it’s easy to point fingers at the media, there are other factors.
Children are often instructed by family members to physically embrace other people, regardless of their wishes. Though this is definitely not done with ill-intent, it does raise important questions.
If we are so adamant that consent is important, why do we not respect a child’s right to choose who they want to embrace? While it’s easy to dismiss as a different situation, we have to remember children grow up to be adults — some of whom write controversial songs or write off problematic implications in favour of catchy beats.
Children are adorable, particularly when they dole out affection through a heartfelt hug. While the action itself is tied to the idea of compassion and love, we sometimes ask a child to perform such actions in the absence of warm feelings or a genuine desire to do so. This disconnect is similar in theory to teaching young women to keep a man happy with her body, even when she doesn’t desire to do so.
While the latter is greatly opposed by society, the former is acceptable. I do not believe we have fully clarified the blurred lines (excuse the terrible reference) between what actions deserve consent and which actions do not.
In order to change something in society, we need to change the way it is framed. The issue of consent is often reserved to matters purely regarding intercourse, and whether a sexual act is classified as consensual sex or rape.
Why do we not respect a child’s right to choose who they want to hug?
Consent applies to more than just sex, though; one should have the right to refuse touching or being touched by anyone. This includes anything from groping to a pat on the shoulder. Consent is important, and should be thought of as such before the situation escalates to the point in which intercourse is on the table.
This is my reason for questioning why youth are forced to embrace those whom they do not necessarily desire to. These same individuals will one day be adults faced with the option of intercourse and the reality of giving and receiving consent. Though we are not malicious when we ask a child to give an aunt a kiss, we are missing a key time to educate on the importance of consent and the ability to refuse without having to be ashamed.
Though likely unintentional, Robin Thicke has opened up a dialogue about consent that is resonating not just through the feminist communities, but general society also. We need to step back from the specific issue and look at everything as a whole.
