VANCOUVER — Over the past few years during exam times at SFU, self-proclaimed “stressed-out” students have been treated to visits from service-dogs in training from the Pacific Assistance Dog Society to relieve them of their anxieties.
Although students have enjoyed the visits, having their worries temporarily taken away by a quick belly-rub, the puppies from the program are apparently displeased that they’re not having a long-term impact.
“These are the service dogs of tomorrow but they’re trying to make real change today,” explained Kathy Griswold, a trainer for the dogs. “Our puppies aren’t just about being cute and cuddly for a quarter-hour, they want to make real differences in people’s lives.”
According to Griswold, the puppies will no longer just be a passing comfort to student during their visits, but have decided to begin using electroshock therapy in order to hopefully cure exam stressed students for good.
“Some of our dogs have made several trips to SFU this year and have been working with the exact same students who are still just as stressed out by their tests,” Griswold continued, “They came to the realization that obviously ear-scratches and nose-licks just aren’t cutting it when it comes to lasting behavioral changes.”
Therefore instead of enabling the students and allowing them to go on being stressed after a few pats, the dogs will be outfitting any students who come for a quick snuggle with shock-collars in hopes that they can zap the irrational test-anxieties out of them.
The new form of ‘puppy electro-therapy’ has stirred up a number of opinions from faculty and students, ranging from those who think it’s a terrible idea and those who only think it’s a pretty terrible idea.
“Normally, I would say that electroshock therapy isn’t appropriate for test-anxiety and has been proven to do more harm than good,” reacted Dr. Marvin Karl, an SFU psychology professor, “but it seems alright when a puppy is doing it, I mean, they’re just so adorable . . .”
Sophomore psychology student, Tom Griffenheart, on the other hand, is less impressed, saying “No, I don’t think it’s adorable at all . . . it’s insane. I’m all for electroshock therapy, it’s a proven method, but we can’t trust puppies. We need to leave that kind of thing to adult dogs, with real experience in animal to human therapy.”
While the puppies are confident that the shock treatments will yield positive results, the PADC has stated that the new system will be introduced slowly and that students can still expect to play with the puppies a little bit, in between electrically induced seizures at least.
And while the puppies might not be strong believers in their old techniques, apparently some human therapists have been utilizing some of their methods, with at least two incidence of face-licking reported at local psychiatric offices in the past two months.
Despite the popularity of ‘classic puppy therapy,’ the new system will start taking effect during the dogs next visit to SFU.
Amidst all the scrutiny, the puppies hope they’ll be still be able to brighten the days of over a hundred SFU students just like they did before. Unlike before though, they also hope to have less repeat visitors every time they come up, a goal that few are doubting they won’t achieve.
