How being unemployed was the best thing that could have happened to me
By Ljudmila Petrovic
Photos by Alex Ortega
Let’s be honest right off the bat: I embody the textbook definition of a “Type-A” personality. Now, I don’t believe in compartmentalizing or labeling people, but one of the definitive qualities of my personality is that I take on too many things at the same time: I haven’t taken a single semester off in my university career; I have had at least one job since I was in highschool; and I am a compulsive list-maker.
The amount of times I have been confused at the question “but when do you relax?” is frightening. As for “me time,” that’s when I’m doing a class reading I’m enjoying, right?
If you’re cringing and shaking your head at me, fear not, because I recently found myself unemployed. Not only was I not juggling multiple jobs, I didn’t even have one. This neatly coincided with my decision to finally take a summer off from classes. Suddenly, not only did I not need post-it notes to supplement my agenda (stop judging me, ye technology users), I had entire days with absolutely no pencil or highlighter on them.
To top off my new-found funemployed status, I moved back in with my parents for the summer, which meant that I now resembled Will Farrell in Wedding Crashers; in fact, I literally found myself in situations where I was on the couch, wearing a bath robe, and yelling to my mom about goulash (the Serbian equivalent of meatloaf, I’d say). But I digress.
My point here is not that I suddenly went from an overly ambitious, workaholic anxiety case to being society’s leech; I was now an anxiety case that watched a lot more Netflix with my parents’ cats. In my case, this is a positive thing.
You see — and I think there are many Type-A folks that will agree — as much I scoffed at the idea that I needed to relax, the life of the workaholic is genuinely exhausting. I would tell myself that I’m happier when I’m busy, that it gives my life fulfillment. This is true, but there is also a fine line between doing it all and overdoing it, and from where I was standing, I couldn’t even see that line anymore.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t entirely idle and I was still doing things, but by my own distorted standards, it was next to nothing. At first, I was anxious and restless, then I slowly began to enjoy having less on my plate. I caught up with old friends, I spent time with my family, and I read books that weren’t assigned to me. I began to see that things happen for a reason — whether it’s a predetermined one or just up to me to find that reason — and I got time to think about where I wanted to take my life from there.
And now, I finally come to my point: sometimes life gets shitty. Sometimes we find ourselves in life situations that make us uncomfortable and that make us anxious. And yet, sometimes these aren’t the situations we should fear — in my case, it was the comfortable rut of overwork that was really the bad situation.
My story may not relate to everyone, as personal narratives usually go. You may not have that much on your plate, you may not have the support system to accommodate soul-searching, or you may still think I’m crazy (but just more of a hippie now). The point is not that you need to relate to any aspect of my story personally; rather, it’s to take life events with a grain of salt and to not take things at face value.
Life has a mysterious way of working. You’re not going to get anywhere bitching about why this happened to you. Embrace it and use it to become a better version of yourself.
This is also not a feel-good Hollywood film (on which I am now an expert thanks to my extensive Netflix viewing). I did not go from being an unhappy and angry workaholic to being a yoga instructor to forest animals, or whatever it is really relaxed people do with their time.
In fact, I rolled my eyes at a yoga instructor for telling me I should take this opportunity to master meditation. I may be challenging my personality, but let’s not get excessive here. No, in the meantime, I found a job. In fact, I found two.
I was the bossy girl in Kindergarten that got all the stickers for being a know-it-all. Hopefully I have better social skills now, but I’m still a version of that girl. I haven’t changed because that’s who I am.
But I did learn that sometimes we have to take a step back from our hectic lives — be that for an hour, a day, or a month — and we have to evaluate if this is what we want to be doing. I’ve learned that you cannot change who you are and you cannot force a different personality upon yourself: if you’re like me, you will never be content with a life of Doritos and Anna Faris movies, and if you’re naturally a more relaxed and easygoing person, you cannot be happy if you’re overwhelmed.
But you can be aware of what you need and you should never ignore an opportunity to make a change in your life. As a bit of a cynic, it pains me that my words are shaping into a combination of a Dr. Phil episode and an inspirational mug, but there you have it.
At a recent job interview, I was asked what I do for self-care. For better or for worse, I am still who I’ve always been, but this time, I actually had a truthful answer.
