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Listless: LipDub Money

Humour
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EIC
Less than 1 min.
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Things we could’ve gotten for the 25 Gs we spent on the LipDub

 

– Twenty-five thousand $1 hookers

– One $25,000 hooker

– $25,000 in VD medication

-Pay the TAs

-Fix up our depressing-ass fountain

-Get McFogg the Dog spayed or neutered

– Buy the women’s soccer team some goals for this season

-Order a hit off Craigslist

-5,000 veggie lunches

– Seven minutes of free beer for each student at the Highland

– Four sectonds of President Petter’s time

-Plastic surgery for yo momma. Dayyym.

 

List compiled by the Peak Editorial Board

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By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Investigator The following is a satirical and fictional commentary.  Oh boy, do we have some juicy tea for you. Have you ever wanted to say, “Fuck the system!” and chug some milk while your boss has his back turned? Way to go, you sabotaging legend. But what if I told you an SFU employee stole $200,000 from the university to fund a luxury vacation to the Pochonos? How would you feel then?  An SFU employee, Jane Doe, has allegedly done just that. The Peak spoke to a staff member of the academic and administrative services office to learn more.  We will refer to the staff member as Madge to protect her identity. Madge volunteered information to the publication when a member of The Peak...

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us:
[email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024