Paige Riding
SFU Mad Lib for when the university disappoints you again
March 7, 2021By: Marco Ovies and Paige Riding Dear SFU, I am writing to [verb] about [one of the many problems with SFU that shouldn’t be happening at a multi billion-dollar institution]. I am a [your major] in my [number of years you’ve attended SFU. I know this hurts to write sometimes. I’m sorry] and I am very [negative emotion] about this. My personal [sensitive, personal belonging of yours] may have been sent out to the world because of SFU’s [negative adjective (there appears to be a lot of those associated with SFU at this point so take your pick)] security…
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Beedie student bails on Valentine’s Day date to check stocks
February 12, 2021By: Paige Riding, Humour Editor February 14, 11:32 a.m. Baby Girl💦 — heyyy baby, happy valentines day! <3 hope your morning is going well and can’t wait to see you tonight. i’m gonna look so good for you mwah mwah…
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Your weekly SFU Horoscopes: February 1–7
February 1, 2021By: Paige Riding, Humour Editor ARIES: BARK! BARK! BARK! WOOF WOOF! BARK! TAURUS: Try split-dyeing your hair, Taurus. All the cool kids are doing it. You’ve never been one to start trends, just snatch them away from every fire sign…
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SFU economics alumnus solves Canadian global debt crisis by suggesting we “print more money”
January 24, 2021By: Paige Riding, Humour Editor VANCOUVER, BC — A recent graduate from the SFU department of economics, Matthew Lashuk, has gone where no other economist with a basic understanding of the capitalist proceedings of the world has ever gone before.…
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This is just The Sims 5: The Simon Fraser University Expansion Pack
November 23, 2020By: Paige Riding, Humour Editor Are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you? The only explanation for this absolutely horrible, disastrous, what-the-whole-entire-fuck period of time is, of course, some piece of shit staring at…
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Student swears by swimming in dense scholarly articles for quarantine workout
November 17, 2020By: Paige Riding, Humour Editor When this pandemic started, I really didn’t go out and move around as much as I used to. With half the population deciding to take up running or biking for the first time in their…
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The only things that could save 2020 at this point
November 8, 2020By: Paige Riding, Humour Editor With but a few weeks left in this godforsaken year, not much could be done to leave off on a relatively high note. With no vaccination in the near future, at this point, these are…
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The case of the missing EIC
November 4, 2020By: Paige Riding and Sara Wong It was a dark and stormy night . . . no, no clichés here. This is just a public roast of our boss and us getting away with it — although, our story does…
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What Grinds Our Gears: Courses meant for online learning shouldn’t be as disorganized as the newly adapted ones
November 3, 2020by Paige Riding, Humour Editor Distance education courses — not to be confused with the shitshow in-person classes now taught online — are intended to be delivered remotely. Lessons and resources appear on Canvas for the student’s convenience. In theory,…
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SFU saves student from exam stress by making exams 25 hours apart instead of 24
November 3, 2020By: Paige Riding, Humour Editor SFU proudly announced in a recent mass email that, to accommodate during these unprecedented times, the university’s administration decided on the Fall 2020 exam schedule after enrollment. This was to ensure that no student had…
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