Kelly Chia
Cryptid Spotlight: The disappearing tutorial room on SFU Snap
October 31, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Students, On this sunny October afternoon, we bring you a nightmare every undergrad student can surely relate to. Today’s story comes from Bend n. Snap, a student just like you, lost in the seemingly endless corners of the Burnaby building. They made the morbid mistake of trusting . . . SFU Snap. Just shudder-inducing. We’ll let Snap tell you the story. Snap was searching for a quiet room to study on the sixth floor of the AQ, a site of increasingly frequent paranormal activity. This labyrinth has confused many innocent students on their valiant quests to…
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Opinions in Garbage: Reginald the III and Stinks the Raccoon discuss
October 26, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor and Nercya Kalino, Staff Writer The Peak has had the incredible opportunity to gather two of SFU Burnaby’s most coveted raccoon starlets: resident food critic Reginald the III himself and Stinks the Raccoon, TV personality…
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Confessionals: I look at episode summaries of shows I say I’ll watch
October 20, 2022By: Showstopper Dearly beloved, sinners, and worse, drivers in downtown Vancouver, I come to this sacred space to confess another crime. It has taken me years to admit this about myself, but I think it’s always good to set examples…
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Choose your own adventure: A date with McFogg
October 17, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor INTRO: You came to Simon Fraser University to engage yourself in many different disciplines. You didn’t expect that you could possibly . . . get engaged. You admit, this brutalist building might capture your heart…
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A scorned letter to the 143
October 10, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Dear . . . Hah, you could never be dear again, so hell-o 143, You may not remember me, but I sure as hell remember you. Yeah, that’s right, I’m the student you leave stranded…
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Horoscopes Oct 10th–Oct 16th
October 10, 2022By: Kelly Chia, reader of the Stars and fanfiction Aries: Take literary inspiration and dress up as a scarlet “A” this year, as in Scarlet Letter. Not only will you show your teachers initiative by dressing as an A, you…
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Confessionals: Halloween girlie refuses to be confronted by her own fears
October 5, 2022By: Ab-horror-nt and Valid (Kelly Chia, Humour Editor) I am human. I am mortal. And alas, I think I have an all too relatable conundrum. The fall of all reputable Halloween girlies, the grand hamartia of everyone who claims they…
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Horoscopes Sept 26th–Oct 2nd
September 28, 2022By: Max Lorette and Kelly Chia, Partners in Star Crimes Aries Don’t look now, Aries, but the junk folder in your email is beginning to grow sentient. Before long, it will be strong enough. The Stars haven’t told me exactly…
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Soul Style Quiz: Fall-ing in love
September 23, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Hello my darling sprouts, You may remember my mother before me, Sylvia XVII, whose express purpose was to divine your perfect style by the mere art of quiz-taking. Now, for my modern perspective as you…
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I AM MARIO: Based on a true story
September 16, 2022By: Max Lorette, Peak Contributor I have loved Mario since I was young. It was infatuation at first sight when I got my first Nintendo DS and played Super Mario Bros. I ruthlessly threw bananas at any foes I encountered…
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