By: Maya Beninteso, the Emotionally-Mature™ Peak Associate To whoever, or whatever, the fuck is out there, Hey, remember me — the person you keep on presenting (unwanted) opportunities for character development? The person who does not want to play the game of life on “hard mode,” as the kids are saying these days? Well, it’s me. And I am done. I’m over your frivolous attempts to have me grow as a human. Call it denial, but I’m fine just the way I am, and, I’m fine (or . . . no, I’m not — it’s not your business!). Don’t get…
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By: Max Lorette, puts the “ho” in horoscopes Aries: Have you remembered to pack an umbrella in your backpack yet, Aries? Don’t forget you live in a temperate rainforest; the weather can change with a drop of a hat. Plus, we…
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By: Nercya Kalino, Staff Writer Restaurant: Cornerstone Organic Bins Rating: ★★★ Location: Univercity Burnaby Mountain Appetizer: Egg in hash brown basket Entrée: Quiche Dessert: Fruit Salad Wine: Pét-Nat Yesterday was my mother’s birthday celebration and we had the pleasure of…
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By: Isabella Urbani, Mediator for the Stars Aries — Mar 21–Apr 19 Guess who’s becoming YouTube’s latest food vlogger? Who else is going to tell the people whether or not McDonald’s newest summer drink is good? Let’s get one thing…
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By: Nathan T., Peak Associate Dear humans, We strongly encourage you to read the latest meeting minutes for the weekly Burnaby Mountain Conservation Area Bear Community Meeting as part of the Burnaby Mountain Neighborhood Committee. We trust you will enact…
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By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Oh noOoOoO!!! Hey Canada, we’re besties for-eve-sies, right? So itty bitty me is so sowwy you felt like I let you down! fiddles with tiny fingers You guys are using big scary words like “blackout,”…
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By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Dear readers, I’ve had an epiphany so devastating, so special, so simply metamorphic that I must share it with you immediately. We often have small moments in life that feel much bigger than they actually…
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By: Hannah Kazemi, Peak Associate Aries You go to enroll and all of your courses are full except for one, so you choose three alternate courses that are not at all anything that you’re interested in. You suffer all semester,…
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By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor This week, The Peak scouted a student who was looking for an interview or a conversation about her experiences, “depending on our feelings and inclinations to heal.” With a fond look towards Turning Red playing on…
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By: Isabella Urbani, Staff Writer Walk in wearing a full body cast The least the teacher can do is help you actually enter the door of the classroom before granting you an extension. Heck, I won’t be surprised if they excuse…
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