HUMOUR
How to Obtain W Rizz as an SFU Student
July 27, 2023By: Alex Ileto, SFU Student 1. Reserve their favourite spot on the bus by sitting there literally all day. If you’re also a slave to TransLink like me, there is a spot on every type of bus and SkyTrain that you have designated as the prime spot. It’s that seat you make a beeline to as soon as the doors open on the SkyTrain — you know the one. You’ll be the person who has the coolest views and the easiest time getting off the bus. What better way to be their object of envy? 2. Show them that washroom…
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Course enrollment chaos is upon us
July 27, 2023By: Hailey Miller, Peak Associate Ah, the sweet smell of course enrollment stress is in the air. The time has come to battle the Hunger Games of registration, “and may the odds be ever in your favour.” Tension rises as…
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Moooooom, Mark is trying to overshadow me again!
July 25, 2023By: C Icart, Humour Editor Somewhere in the world, a vocal misogynist takes a break from tweeting about spaceships to call his mommy. No, Mom, I’m not going to do the breathing exercises you sent me the other day; I’m…
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Horoscopes July 24 – 30
July 25, 2023By: Alex Ileto, Peak Associate Aries Thwip! Welcome to your Spiderverse era. Just like Miles, prepare to battle your parallel universe counterparts (AKA your inner demons) who are much cooler and more successful than you are. The alternate universe where…
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Summer Snack Quiz
July 25, 2023By: Hana Hoffman, Peak Associate Question 1: Which excuse are you most likely to use when you’re late? I am never late. Don’t believe me? Make plans with me and you’ll see. Every time I arrive on time, no one…
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5 things that actually deserve to be on the $20 bill
July 21, 2023By: Hannah Kazemi, Peak Associate Here ye, here ye. The Bank of Canada has announced that we should expect to see brand new $20 bills circulating in the next few years featuring none other than King Charles’ face. How lovely…
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Summer just started and it’s practically over
July 19, 2023By: Hailey Miller, Peak Associate Well, the longest day of the year has already come and gone. The day erupted into the sky at the crack of dawn, like a fleeting shimmer as the seasons pass by. If you blinked,…
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A FIRE Story About My Day at SFU Burnaby
July 19, 2023By: Izzy Cheung, Staff Writer Disclaimer: This is a true story. I wish I could say it isn’t. Everyone’s heard about the fire that rocked the world (or just the Burnaby campus) on Wednesday, June 28. You might have been…
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Will U-Pass Your Summer Course?
July 19, 2023By: Hana Hoffman, Peak Associate and C Icart, Humour Editor Dear Peakie, I was at the movies watching The Little Mermaid because, duh, and the fire alarm went off, and we had to evacuate! So obviously, I complain to the…
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Don’t talk to me and my unread emails
July 12, 2023By: Hailey Miller, Peak Associate Surely, I can’t be the only one who checks my emails one by one but never bothers to delete any of them. What about seeing notifications from texts and group chats and letting them mingle…
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