Gary Lim
Getting hit in the nuts fucking hurts
February 24, 2013Just saying what everyone should already know, but doesn't I take it you’ve noticed the headline. But before I start, I have to share an anecdote to give the appropriate context. Last Friday, I was riding the skytrain with a friend when she slapped me for making an inappropriate joke about certain races and their proclivities. While the slap was not particularly hard, she asked if it had hurt. When I said no, she berated another male colleague of ours for losing his shit when she had previously punched him in the balls with the same measure of force. At…
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Magnitude 7.4 Harlem shake devastates Toronto
February 17, 2013Toe-tapping tune topples Toronto tectonically By Gary Lim TORONTO — A destructive 7.4 magnitude Harlem Shake has completely demolished the downtown southern Toronto. The 7.4 shake, which occurred at approximately 3:20 p.m. Sunday, was followed by three smaller aftershakes with…
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An interview with the Pope
February 17, 2013By Gary Lim Pope Benedict XVI shocked the world last week when he announced that he would be stepping down as head of the Catholic Church, his reasons for doing so being a “lack of strength of the mind and…
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Terrifying thing happens in Russia as usual
February 15, 2013Meteor storm over Chelyabinsk sends citizens into a state of ennui, frantically go about their day. By Gary Lim (Junior Cosmonaut) CHELYABINSK — The incredible took place early morning today over the Ural mountains, when an unidentified flying object burned…
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Campus Update – February 4, 2013
February 3, 2013By Gary Lim SFU Health Plan drops coverage for radon exposure/strong> SFU administration announced last Thursday a change to the health care plan currently offered to all SFU students. The one and only change: the policy would no longer be…
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The statutory story: Family Day
February 3, 2013By Gary Lim Hello? Heeellooo? Where is everyone? Did they get raptured? Did I miss the rapture? Since when is it a sin to drown a bag o— OH, right it’s Family Day. Family Day, for the uninformed, is a…
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Scientists discover new way of pronouncing ‘quinoa’
January 27, 2013Language researchers stumble on new way to articulate popular grain By Gary Lim Photos By Mark Burnham ZEVEN – German scientists of the Spachinstitut Von Zeven (The Zeven Institute of Language) made headlines earlier this week after…
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Doctors unable to find methanol in “poisoned” SFU students; balls neither
January 25, 2013By Gary Lim BALI — An international studies class from SFU made national news early morning today after being involved in a brief scare where it was believed the students had consumed methanol-laced alcohol. After lengthy examination by doctors…
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Ani-malapropisms: A murder of crows
November 19, 2012By Gary Lim and Eleanor Qu
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Horoscope: November 19, 2012
November 19, 2012Aries (March 21 – April 20) This week you save $3.45 and anyone from ever finding your body trying to save money by “mining your damn own copper.” Taurus (April 21 – May 21) Don’t make mountains out of molehills…
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