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SFU loses championship opportunity

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Katelyn Erhardson had a strong game up front for SFU.

Last Saturday was the most meaningful game the SFU women’s soccer team had played in a long time.

After four straight years of finishing at the bottom of the GNAC standings, the Clan have fought their way back to the top in a season that has defied expectations. A win in last Saturday’s game could have secured the team a spot in the GNAC conference championships, to be played here at SFU. All they had to do was beat Western Oregon.

Unfortunately, it was not to be. A late goal into overtime by Wolves forward Taylor Higa destroyed any hope of the clan qualifying, and the team ended the season just out of the fourth place spot needed to qualify.

The first half ended in a scoreless draw, but that doesn’t mean it was void of chances. SFU outshot the visitors 14–6 in the opening frame, but couldn’t find the back of the net. Christian Dickson had two shots in close off an SFU corner in the first half, but could not convert to take the lead.

The Clan got behind early in the second half. Off a free kick eight minutes in, Brooke Steinberg buried it into the right side of the net for an early 1–0 lead. SFU was able to quickly answer and keep the hope of a victory alive.

Just under a minute later, freshman Katelyn Erhardson took the ball at the right corner of the 18-yard box, and buried it into the left hand corner. From there, SFU pushed the pace of the game, trying desperately to tip the scales. However, nothing was solved after ninety minutes and the game went to overtime.

In the 107th minute, heartbreak ensued. Off another free kick, Taylor Higa scored from just outside the box making the game 2–1 and ending any chance of SFU making it to the conference championship. Both keepers played exceptionally well, with SFU’s Priya Sandhu facing 19 shots total, nine of which were on target.

In all, it was a good season for SFU. Despite being picked to finish dead last before the season started, the team was able to beat the odds and challenge for a spot in the conference championships.

Men’s hockey goes 1–1 on two day road trip

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Two vastly different games left the team .500 by the end of the road trip

Over the last weekend the SFU men’s hockey team played two games, and it was a tale of two different results. The first was against Eastern Washington, which was won by SFU in a close 3–2 game. The second one was a 5–0 loss at the hands of rivals Selkirk College.

“We had real good energy friday night,” said Head Coach Mark Coletta on the weekend’s games. “We had good pace, and obviously we got the win. But Saturday we came out flat, and didn’t compete hard enough.”

Friday night’s game got off to a great start for the Clan: they were able to get up to a 2–0 lead, thanks to goals from Michael Sandor and newcomer Brandon Tidy, shorthanded. But after that, Eastern Washington forward Beau Walker scored both goals to tie it up at two.

“Obviously he’s a good player,” said Coletta about Walker. “He’s a good skater, he’s got great skill, and he’s a Division I transfer. We’ve had trouble identifying where he’s on the ice, and bumping him when he has the puck.”

The third period featured 13 shots by SFU, and they got the winning goal courtesy of Jesse Mysiorek, his first of the season. Goalie Jordan Liem made 28 saves on the night.

The second game was in stark contrast to the first one. The Clan were badly outshot and took twice as many penalties in this game compared to the first. So what went wrong in the second game?

“A lot of it is physiological,” remarked Coletta. “There’ still a stigma when we go up to Selkirk and play there. It’s part of the mental aspect of the game, and we still need to work on that.”

After Nelson Hurry gave Selkirk the 1–0 lead, the doors burst open in the second period. Selkirk scored three in the frame, including one early in the period on the powerplay. They rubbed salt in their wounds with a fifth goal in the third. Selkirk player Ryan Edwards ended the game with an incredible five assists.

With a goal over the weekend, new player Tidy has gotten off to a quick start in his BCIHL career. He now has three points in five games, and has become a regular in Mark Coletta’s lineup.

“He’s a character guy,” Coletta noted. “He plays a bold, hard, crashing style of game that has worked out well for us.”

The trip leaves the team 2–1 on the road on the season. Their next game is on the road against Trinity Western at the Langley Events Centre on Saturday.

HUMOUR: Moustaches growing humans for slacktivism awareness

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It’s November, which means it’s the time of year for moustaches everywhere to start sprouting patchy humans on their upper hairs in hopes of raising awareness about slacktivism.

“Most people aren’t really that well-informed when it comes to slacktivism,” said Mikey McMikerson, a moustache who’s now in his fourth year of doing Movember. “Did you know: studies have shown that one in every six people will partake in some form of slacktivism in their lifetime? That’s a huge chunk of the population, and somehow it’s not a topic people are openly talking about yet.”

But what is slacktivism, and what are some of the warning signs people can learn to recognize, in order to protect their loved ones?

Slacktivism, or “phantom feels” as it’s commonly referred to, is the result of two different conditions occurring in one’s body. The first is a buildup of internal tensions within a person’s heart, caused by the tugging on his or her metaphorical heart strings. The second, and the dangerous catalyst behind slacktivism, is the swelling of a person’s brain with the idea that the world won’t be right unless they specifically say something to make a difference. When both conditions are present in an individual, the risk of slacktivism is extremely high.

“Facebook posts, overdone hashtags, vlogs, sharing links without giving any context or doing any research to look into factual accuracies: These are just a few of the things people need to watch for in their friends and family,” warns McMikerson. “If you notice a combination of these or even just one, slacktivism may already be an issue.”

While there’s a fair bit of disagreement over when slacktivism began, a considerable amount of evidence can be linked to 1991, when the World Wide Web as we know it was first introduced to the public. Theorists suggest that this easy-to-use platform may have been what started the slacktivism movement.

Since its humble beginnings in Melbourne, Australia over 10 years ago, Movember has grown to be one of the most buzzed-about social movements of the decade. What started as friendly competition amongst friends to raise awareness of slacktivism has grown to impressive proportions: last year, over two million moustaches were registered Movember participants.

However, Movember hasn’t been without its detractors: some critics have argued that the whole movement is a form of slacktivism on its own, giving the illusion that moustaches growing something along their upper lip is merely feeding into the cycle of not advocating for any real social change.

“That’s ridiculous,” retorted McMikerson, stroking his human defensively but proudly. “Have you seen the human I’ve been growing on my face for Movember? It’s so greasy and looks terrible. How can something so tacky not make a big social change in the world? That just doesn’t seem possible.”

This week in comics

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CMYK- Seagull SquareSeagull Square (Jill Mandrake)

CrapsideThe Crapside (Ryan Stella & Darien Lechner)

NEW-Three-piece by Rosemarie Perkin -  CabinetThree Piece (Rosemarie Perkin)

Pun 2 3Pun 2 3 (Sarah Walker)

TSSU strikeDuring/after the TSSU strike (Destiny Hsu & Justin Stevens)

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 5.55.52 PMCreator’s Pet (Destiny Hsu)

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 5.56.03 PMMystic Man (Reuben Newton)

Lumberjacks chop down Clan efforts

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The loss was the largest defeat in the program’s NCAA era.

After flying down to California earlier in the week, the SFU football program hoped to get their first win of the year against the Lumberjacks of Humboldt State University (HSU), who are currently sitting in first place atop the GNAC with an undefeated record.

The sound of 5,000-plus screaming fans in costumes with the buzzing of the mascot’s chainsaw on the sidelines sure made for a ghostly atmosphere in Arcata, California on October 31 as the Clan prepared to take on this year’s GNAC contenders.

SFU opened the game on offense and rallied down the field with the help of a 26-yard completion from quarterback Ryan Stanford to receiver Christian Berger. They settled for a field goal a few plays later, but it sailed to left of the uprights, leaving the score 0–0. Humboldt state responded the following drive with a field goal attempt, but this too missed wide.

A stout Lumberjack defense began to hone in on the Clan offense, as SFU was only able to amass three first downs in the first quarter. These short offensive drives for the Clan gave HSU great field position, which they quickly took advantage of by putting together back to back drives that ended with rushing touchdowns from running backs Ja’Quan Gardner and Jabar Byrd.

Coach Bates described the outcome of limited offensive production by stating, “[when we’re] not able to stay on the field on offense, really our defense gets to a point where they’re just tired and they get worked over. Part of that is a product of the size of our roster size at this point in time.”

Jordan and Justin Herdman led the SFU defense to a couple of promising stops to open up the second quarter, including a big play on third down where SFU defensive back Cairo Messer-Barrow broke up a possible first down catch for HSU.

“They are dedicated to their craft, they work hard and their students of the game,” coach Bates said of the Herdmans. “They are human and they make mistakes, but they are leaders on this defense and I don’t know where we would be without them.”

However, things began to turn sour for the Clan as the Lumberjack defense forced an interception and back-to-back three and out drives for the SFU offense. The Lumberjack offense would simultaneously rally together to put an additional 21 points on the scoreboard before heading into the locker room for halftime.

“We can’t afford to make mistakes when we play [HSU], but each play we had one or two guys make mental errors, and that caused issues that [they] weren’t able to overcome as a team,” said coach Bates.

Lumberjack quarterback Robert Weber opened up the second half of the game by leading his team down the field to add to an already staggering lead by throwing his second touchdown pass of the day to make the score 42–0.

An early deficit in the second half forced the Clan to abandon the run game that had been so efficient in recent weeks thanks to the recent emergence of converted running back Ante Milanovic-Litre. Ante finished the game with only 14 rushing attempts for a total of 28 yards.

The rest of the second half continued to play out in favour of HSU, as they tacked on an additional pair of touchdowns before closing out the game. Stanford finished the game completing 17 of 36 passes for 140 yards and two interceptions. Justin Burren again came out as the Clan’s leading receiver, with four catches for 52 yards, while Jordan and Justin Herdman led SFU in tackles with 26 and 12 total tackles respectively.

HUMOUR: Horoscopes: November 9–15

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Image by Phoebe Lim

Aries (March 21 to April 19): You’ve been working hard all week, so take some time to chillax. Do something fun, preferably leisureful — and no, studying to get ahead in your course reading isn’t considered “fun” by normal people. Calm down with some Netflix, a nice nap, and maybe get wrecked at the Highland Pub tonight.

Taurus (April 20 to May 20): Feeling nostalgic, Taurus? The alignment of Pluto this week means it’s an optimal time to call up an old friend. . . unless the old friend you’re thinking of is a total ass-wipe, which is why you let them go in the first place. If so, it’s okay to ignore Pluto just this one time and not call them; they’re an old friend, Taurus.

Gemini (May 21 to June 20): Lucky for you, Venus has decided that you’re going to get laid this week. So use SFU’s Party Calendar to raise the roof at a super hip uni party and find yourself a good-looking human!

Cancer (June 21 to July 22): I suggest you start living your life to the fullest, because your astrology sign says it all, man. It says it all.

Leo (July 23 to August 22): Whenever I hear “Leo” I think of how there was totally room for two people on that floating door wood for Jack Dawson. I’m talking to you, Rose! So I guess I’m trying to say. . . sharing is good. #titanic

Virgo (August 23 to September 22): If you looked into the mirror this morning and said, “Why am I so uuugly?,” let me tell you something: today, you are not ugly. If you were a bird, you’d be a swan. Fluff your fluffy feathers and prepare those mating calls.

Libra (September 23 to October 22): This is the part where I give financial advice by recommending ways for you to save your money. But hey, you guys aren’t the only students with money troubles. All of us uni students have money troubles. You can barely afford your textbooks, let alone tuition. You have no money with which I can advise you about.

Scorpio (October 23 to November 21): Sometimes when you wanna travel, the plane crashes and you get stuck on, like, Mars or something.  And despite your resourcefulness and your loyal character, I’d rather not be stuck in a desert with a venomous predator.

Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21): You’re a freaking centaur. You don’t need advice. Nobody tells you what to do. You do your own thing, horse-human. You’re the bomb, and that will never change.

Capricorn (December 22 to January 19): Because the stars of our solar system won’t always align in your favour, try to avoid saying “when I graduate” and stick to more open-ended terminology, like “if I graduate.” Life is more fun when it’s not so strictly defined. 

Aquarius (January 20 to February 18): Uranus has been feeling a bit off these days. Perhaps it’s all the macchiatos and Red Bulls you’ve been chugging down to keep you bright-eyed and awake for your exams. Stay near a toilet.

Pisces (February 19 to March 20): Hey, little fishy. I know you’re feeling lonely these days because of that stormy breakup, but Neptune and its moons have come together to move Earth’s seven oceans, mixing things up a bit. Swim, little fishy, for there are other cute and charming chordates in the sea.

HUMOUR: SFU’s men’s rights activists protest new “friend zone” bench unveiling

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Image by Nathan Ross

The unveiling of a new mental health initiative is driving one group at Simon Fraser University out of their mind: the MaleMen, a men’s rights activist group on campus, is protesting the new Friendship Bench, saying that it is too close to a physical entity of one of their group’s most combatted institutions — the “Friend Zone.”

“The Friend Zone is definitely a real issue for men and men-allies,” said Chad Anderson, president of the MaleMen. “With this new bench on campus, it encourages complete strangers to be friendly to each other, and then just walk away — unaware they’re supposed to continue the encounter with sex or at least a sloppy make out sesh.

“What’s the point of constantly being kind to people if they can just get off the bench and walk away from you? It’s a burden on real men trying to make a beneficial connection, with heavy emphasis on the benefits.”

Putting one in the “Friend Zone” is described by MaleMen’s website as mentally registering another person as only ever just being friends, often very good or best friends. MaleMen warns folks not to be enticed by how nice it can be to actually be friends with other people, as it doesn’t take into account the lack of tangible benefits having friends in your life has.

The MaleMen protested the opening of the Friendship Bench on October 28, handing out pamphlets with facts about meninism and chanting anti-bench sayings, some about what the bench stood for and others just denouncing benches entirely.

According to a press release from SFU, the yellow bench is meant to serve as a permanent symbol of mental health awareness and of SFU’s vision for a vibrant stigma-free community.

Peter Phillips, one of the protestors, is taking it one step farther; he has initiated a standing strike, in which he refuses to sit down again until the bench is removed from campus.

“I feel like my boys really need something they can rally behind, so I’m taking this bullet for the team,” said Phillips. “It’s kind of difficult and awkward to go from standing to lying down without anything in the middle, but I feel as though I can inspire others to do the same until SFU responds.

“Imagine sliding into a dry Slip ‘N Slide, except it isn’t very fun at all and it hurts most of the time. I and other MaleMen will subject ourselves to that constantly until our demands are heard and the bench is scrapped.”

An official from SFU was asked to comment on the actions of the MaleMen. However, upon hearing about the objections to a bench built around friendship, they threw their arms up in the air and exclaimed, “This is why we can’t have nice things!” before storming off.

HUMOUR: Avoid even more crippling debt with these thrifty tips for students

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Image by Save Money (Flickr)

As a university student, you’re no stranger to financial struggle. The loonie you found on the ground last Monday was the highlight of your week, and the first question you ask when you’re invited to literally any event ever is: Will there be free food? Luckily for you, The Peak has some money-saving tips to get you through the rest of the term.

Bedding: No classic grandmotherly figure who knits blankets like everyone else seems to have? No problem. Just head to your building’s laundry room. Most university students don’t get rid of the lint in the dryers after using them, meaning you can take what everyone else left behind and forge makeshift pillows and blankets to get you through the cold, Canadian winter nights.

Your cellphone bill: Instead of spending $50+ a month on a cellphone plan for texting, calling, and data, learn the ancient art of smoke signals. Not only will the fire help keep you warm, but you’ll never have to worry about poor cell reception or dropped calls again; smoke signals work whether you’re in the middle of a metropolis or the middle of nowhere. Of course, you won’t be able to gossip anymore, you can’t really be discrete about giant plumes of smoke in the sky, but assumedly there aren’t too many people who could intercept and successfully interpret your messages.

Fresh breath: Instead of spending a few bucks on a pack of gum, save money by picking already-chewed pieces off the bottom of desks and chairs. Sure, maybe the flavor isn’t what it used to be, but the lackluster taste is made up for by the extra money in your bank account at the end of the month! Even better, there’s the bonus of the element of surprise, never knowing what flavor of gum you’ll get. Before, you would’ve had to spend extra on a variety pack of gum. But this way, you get to sample them all for free.

Bad hair day?: The cost of hair accessories like curling irons, flat irons, and combs can really add up, so take the financially-efficient route: just gather up the hair that’s been strung up on the shower stall wall. Not only will your floormates love you for taking care of the mess that once repulsed them, but you get a free wig out of it. Some assembly required.

Netflix: Just because you’re poor, doesn’t mean you have to suffer by missing out on How to Get Away With Murder. Simply set up a lawnchair outside of your neighbor’s house — we all have one that seems to never close their curtains — and voila! What used to be a gross, tragic trait of your neighbour is now your ticket to free Netflix. It’s gross, but every Thursday night they’re your new best friend. You’ll just have to get really good at reading lips.

Proposed bus routes exclude residence, 135 stops

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Students protested the proposed bus routes on Thursday night.

“Save this bus stop.” That was the message engulfing SFU’s residence bus stop late Thursday night before being taken down. But reduced service to that particular stop is not the only proposed change to transit that would affect SFU students.

TransLink conducted a consultation survey regarding the proposed 85 changes to existing routes, some of which would affect all three SFU campuses. The changes are meant to increase efficiency and decrease travel time for riders across all of Metro Vancouver.

Among the changes are plans to convert the 135 to a B-line, eliminate several stops in Burnaby, reduce the number of stops on Burnaby campus to allow for two-way flow for transit, and other proposed changes to a significant number of routes that may be utilized by SFU students studying at the Burnaby, Vancouver, or Surrey campuses.

Caitlin Maxwell, a first-year communications student living in residence who relies on TransLink to get on and off Burnaby Mountain, will be affected by the diminished service to the residence bus stop, which will only be serviced by the 144 and N35.

Despite the Simon Fraser Student Society’s (SFSS) attempts to raise awareness amongst students through leaflets and posters on campus, Maxwell told The Peak that she had no idea of the proposed changes.

“I was not aware of the specific changes that TransLink proposed, only that it was making some changes that students should know about,” said Maxwell. “Really, how many students are going to do full research online after infrequently seeing a poster on campus?”

One of the largest proposed changes to an SFU bus is the possible expansion of the 135 into a B-line. This means the route would lose stops in favour of decreasing the travel time between SFU and Burrard Station, a change TransLink says would save travellers 10 minutes.

“I don’t see how 10 minutes would benefit anyone in a full work day,” said Maxwell.

The survey, which has more than 8,000 responses at time of publication, is just another step in making sure that TransLink is able to implement changes that they feel will best benefit everyone riding, according to spokesperson Jennifer Morland. She said that the procedure they were following wasn’t any different to how it is usually done.

“We have shared publicly the dates for the survey, and we hope that people have taken the opportunity to take the survey so far,” Morland told The Peak days before it officially closed.

Kathleen Yang, SFSS VP External Relations, expressed her own worry that there was not enough time to reach out to all the students before the survey deadline to make sure they had their say.

“Do I think they gave us enough time? No, I don’t think so,” said Yang in regards to the opportunity the SFSS has been given to raise awareness. “They’ve said that they’ve been in consultation for a number of months now with the city, with other stakeholders, with regional planners, but what about the people who are literally going to be affected by these changes?”

She acknowledged that the proposed changes are very complex and that students may not realise how it will affect them.

“I think [students] need to know that there are a huge number of bus route changes,” she said. “I’d really encourage students to take a look to see what buses are going to be changed [. . .] and whether or not that is going to be good for them.”

Morland emphasized that the changes are still in their developmental stage, and should not be inciting the kind of worry that some students might feel. She hoped that students would fill out the survey to make their concerns heard.

“The important thing to stress here is that these are proposed changes, so there have been no final decisions made,” she said.

Proposed Route Changes:

Burnaby Mountain

All routes redesigned to allow for two-way traffic instead of functioning as a one-way loop, fewer stops on the hill, reduced routes servicing residence bus stop

135 Burrard Station/SFU

Turned into a B-line, number of stops reduced to decrease travel time by ten minutes from Burrard Station to SFU

143 Coquitlam Station/SFU and 144 Metrotown/SFU

Redesigned to act as one-way loops respectively

SFU Surrey

Reroute the 509 to Lougheed Station and reroute the 501 onto Highway 1 via 156th Street

5 Robson/Downtown

Adjusted to provide year-round service on the route

6 Davie/Downtown

Extended to include Yaletown-Roundhouse Station and Cambie Street

C23 Yaletown/Davie/Main St. Station and C21 Yaletown/Beach

The two routes have been consolidated

Route 394 White Rock/King George Station

Changed into a B-Line, with fewer stops to decrease travel time

Other routes with proposed changes in the surrounding area:

Burnaby

145, N35, 49, 26, 106, 116, 129, 130, 430, C3, C4, C8, C9

Vancouver

41, 43, 480, N8, N20, N6, N16, N22, 4, 7, 16, C18, C19, C20, 44, 250, 258

Surrey

595, 502, 531, 590, C63, 320, 341, 509, 351, 352, 354, C50, C51, C52, C53

Woohoo, Boohoo

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Woohoo: Air Canada

If I were to be completely practical, I’d say that all airlines are pretty much crap. But instead of wallowing in my first-world problems, I thought I’d take a moment to snapshot the fleeting happy moments in life, to sift through the negativity and pull out those golden nuggets, to pluck the ripe from the rotten.

In this case, I’m talking about that sweet contract Air Canada has with Cineplex Odeon, which allows passengers to play ‘still in cinema’ films from touch screens on the back of the passenger’s seat in front of them. Let’s be honest: this personal in-flight entertainment has pretty much revolutionized the commercial airplane experience, and has left the Canadian corporation flipping the smug bird at most of the other travel options out there.

Personally, I view this free in-flight entertainment as a reward for all the stress a passenger encounters while going through customs and baggage checks. Sure, Air Canada just might lose track of that huge suitcase with all of your personal belongings for an indefinite period of time, but as long as your 14-hour flight has films that you don’t have to spend $25 at the cinema to see, then it’s not as much of a big deal, right?

Boohoo: United Airlines

United States airlines have a lot of catching up to do. Either that or they’re simply extorting passengers’ pocket-cash for all its worth. I took a flight to Texas last week and was surprised to find that there are no touch-screens emblazoned on the seats of United Airlines airplanes. I’m sorry to say this, but I’m now going to bitch about my first-world problems.

In place of a touch screen was a simple blue sticker that flashed a wifi symbol and asked me to pay $8 to connect to their Web service in order to access in-flight entertainment on my personal digital device. Other United flights I took during the trip had no wifi access altogether. I’m sorry, United Airlines, but Canada has set the bar pretty darn high. As your valued passenger I expect free, easily accessible in-flight entertainment, and to deprive me of this is to hang your head in shame while crushing your skull under the corporate weight of your “friendly hat,” Canada.

United Airlines, call me a pretentious ass, but if you’re also going to lose all my luggage and then smack me in the face with a boring flight, then you’ve lost all my respect. I guess I could pull out a novel, but really — who reads books these days?