HUMOUR: Avoid even more crippling debt with these thrifty tips for students

Image by Save Money (Flickr)

As a university student, you’re no stranger to financial struggle. The loonie you found on the ground last Monday was the highlight of your week, and the first question you ask when you’re invited to literally any event ever is: Will there be free food? Luckily for you, The Peak has some money-saving tips to get you through the rest of the term.

Bedding: No classic grandmotherly figure who knits blankets like everyone else seems to have? No problem. Just head to your building’s laundry room. Most university students don’t get rid of the lint in the dryers after using them, meaning you can take what everyone else left behind and forge makeshift pillows and blankets to get you through the cold, Canadian winter nights.

Your cellphone bill: Instead of spending $50+ a month on a cellphone plan for texting, calling, and data, learn the ancient art of smoke signals. Not only will the fire help keep you warm, but you’ll never have to worry about poor cell reception or dropped calls again; smoke signals work whether you’re in the middle of a metropolis or the middle of nowhere. Of course, you won’t be able to gossip anymore, you can’t really be discrete about giant plumes of smoke in the sky, but assumedly there aren’t too many people who could intercept and successfully interpret your messages.

Fresh breath: Instead of spending a few bucks on a pack of gum, save money by picking already-chewed pieces off the bottom of desks and chairs. Sure, maybe the flavor isn’t what it used to be, but the lackluster taste is made up for by the extra money in your bank account at the end of the month! Even better, there’s the bonus of the element of surprise, never knowing what flavor of gum you’ll get. Before, you would’ve had to spend extra on a variety pack of gum. But this way, you get to sample them all for free.

Bad hair day?: The cost of hair accessories like curling irons, flat irons, and combs can really add up, so take the financially-efficient route: just gather up the hair that’s been strung up on the shower stall wall. Not only will your floormates love you for taking care of the mess that once repulsed them, but you get a free wig out of it. Some assembly required.

Netflix: Just because you’re poor, doesn’t mean you have to suffer by missing out on How to Get Away With Murder. Simply set up a lawnchair outside of your neighbor’s house — we all have one that seems to never close their curtains — and voila! What used to be a gross, tragic trait of your neighbour is now your ticket to free Netflix. It’s gross, but every Thursday night they’re your new best friend. You’ll just have to get really good at reading lips.