Go brand yourself

By: Zoe Vedova Today’s fast-paced world is packed with Internet celebrities turned instant millionaires. These company-sponsored trendsetters are rapidly changing the structure of our society...

The best and worst handouts SFU has to offer

By: Zoe Vedova As SFU students, we stand in constant vigilance of anyone foolishly attempting to hand us things. While speed-walking from bus stops to...

Cool stuff you can buy from the new TransLink store

While you were waiting in the snow for a bus that would never come, TransLink was devoted to coming up with a way to...

First-year student FINALLY finds tutorial room in the AQ

By: Gabrielle McLaren First-year student Malcolm Mackenzie has finally found the classroom for his Introduction to Sociology tutorial after spending the entire fall semester wandering...

Dementors come to SFU only to find that all the souls are already gone

By: Meghan Light SFU received an unexpected visit this week when Dementors infiltrated campus. Unfortunately, the Dementors were disappointed because they could not find what...

Formal email translation

By: Nathaniel Tok   Original: Dear Professor, I am writing to inform you about a potential problem that I am having with the students you assigned to be...

What boys do in the washroom instead of washing their hands

Men’s washrooms are more poisonous than the Sauder School snakes at UBC. You’d think that would make guys more likely to wash their hands...

SFU students report mysterious yellow orb floating in the sky on Burnaby campus

By: Aaron Richardson Students at the SFU Burnaby campus have been reporting sightings of a large yellow orb floating in the sky. Many have reported...

The dildo-industrial complex

By: Chinua Pires  We all remember January 17, 1961, the day when Dwight D. Eisenhower warned us of the ever growing presence of the little-talked-about...

SFU researchers discover that literal toxic masculinity exists

By: Gene Cole SFU chemists and sociobiologists have found out that there may be EVEN more harm connected to intense forms of masculinity than just...