SFUnexplained: Vampire hunters unfairly overtook the observatory

By: Carter Hemion, Peak Associate We already know there are vampire hunters among us — some of whom are our own classmates (looking at you,...

Student selling soul on Facebook used textbook page — along with other irrelevant items

By: Devana Petrovic, Staff Writer BURNABY, BC — Vadia Gondew, SFU student, failed co-op participant, and eternal debt-and-general-misery holder, is reportedly putting her soul up...

COVID-19 family confessionals

By: Turkish Delight and Oogly Boogly By Turkish Delight This is the tale of an eccentric mind experiencing the effects of the pandemic. It all started...

“I understand these are trying times,” says the professor making the times trying

By: Kyla Dowling, Peak Associate Subject Line: Paper now due Tuesday From: [email protected] To: AHH 101 (All Sections) Date: November 5, 3:33 a.m. Students,  Many of you have asked for...

The only things that could save 2020 at this point

By: Paige Riding, Humour Editor With but a few weeks left in this godforsaken year, not much could be done to leave off on a...

Top Ten names to give your party you’re too scared to call a party during quarantine

By: Juztin Bello, Copy Editor A ~casual~ get ᶜᴼⱽᴵᴰ together  The world is a stressful time right now and the idea of being scrutinized for partying...

The case of the missing EIC

By: Paige Riding and Sara Wong It was a dark and stormy night . . . no, no clichés here. This is just a public...

Student believes they left last scrap of serotonin underneath the rainbow parachute in grade three gym class

By: Kyla Dowling, SFU Student I remember that day so clearly.  Fourth period meant that it was time for gym class. Normally, I’d be nauseous from...

SFU saves student from exam stress by making exams 25 hours apart instead of 24

By: Paige Riding, Humour Editor SFU proudly announced in a recent mass email that, to accommodate during these unprecedented times, the university’s administration decided on...

White person shocked to learn about racism for the first time through Instagram infographic

By: Serena Bains, Staff Writer I just learned that racism existed when I opened Instagram feed the other day. Expecting my feed of custom Starbucks...