Meet Bryan, the hero who watched your stuff for two minutes

By: Rodolfo Boskovic, Peak Associate In life, it’s hard to find the extraordinary. Some of us go through life without seeing anything that makes us...

STEM students complain that variables still won’t self-isolate

By: Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Classes have only been cancelled for a few days, but hundreds of SFU students have already emailed complaints to the...

“I’m from Vancouver,” says Port Coquitlam resident

By: Terrence Rivers, SFU Student Yet another Port Coquitlam resident has been caught lying about their sordid roots, witnesses report. Summer Bowers, 23, has told...

CONFESSIONALS: I’m a third-year English major with no clue what a thesis is

By: Paige Riding, News Writer  I have something to confess that I’m really upset about, SFU. I’m finishing up my third year under your roof...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: March 23–29

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 Your rage issues are back this week. Good thing social distancing means you can’t keep...

DEAR PEAKIE: Parting is such sweet sorrow

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Dear Peakie, You’ve basically raised me this semester. I’ve done everything you’ve prescribed in your column! I left the Red...

SFU history department shuts down because “who cares, what’s done is done”

Written by Marco Ovies, Arts Editor On Friday, SFU’s incoming president Joy Johnson announced her plans to shut down SFU’s Department of History. The university...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: March 16–22

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 Oh, did you hear that on the grapevine? It’s an earwig, and she wants you.  Taurus...

SFSS election debate held in freezing outdoors to keep cold-hearted students refrigerated

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Tens of students gathered in Convocation Mall on Wednesday afternoon to shiver in the cold as candidates raced to...

Lonely first-year fed up that no one has saved him from his inner darkness yet

Written by Jennifer Low, Peak Associate A first year SFU student is threatening to sue the university for false advertising: namely, their failure to provide...