Reginald the III vs. Bobby Sleigh: Part 1

By: Kelly Chia, Editor-in-Chief My precious literate raccoons, Did you miss my smooth voice narrating the most succulent meals found on the campus floors? I did,...

From the Desks of Bobby Sleigh: Bobby’s Lament

By: Kelly Chia, Editor-in-Chief and Dutiful Archivist The following work has been lovingly archived under, “Genius Art Before Their Time,” a pre-humous (we find post-humous...

How to sabotage a completely healthy and happy relationship (lesbian version)

By: Tam Nguyen, SFU Student Inside an SFU dorm, there’s a girl sleeping on the couch. A YouTube video called “Learn C++ in 15 minutes”...

Hate mail for my oral contraceptive

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Dear bitch — I mean pill,  Listennnn, before anyone comes for me for coming for you, I will acknowledge that you...

Ms. Valentine Presents: SFU Hookup Locations

By: Izzy Cheung, staff writer Hello, all you SFU lovebirds! I, Ms. Valentine, have wisdom to bestow on all couples, from  those who met...

The great wall of SFU under siege

By: Sude Guvendik, Staff Writer Dear SFU climbers,  Hold onto your harnesses because there’s some wild news — the SFU Climbing Wall, that vertical haven of...

STORYTIME: THE SPIDER IN MY BATHROOM HAS A FINSTA (part 2)

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Hi everyone! Welcome back to my channel! Can I get a little commotion in the comments for my new background?...

SFU Alert: Transit strikes again

By: Sonya Janeshewski, SFU Student January 23, 2024, 8:20 a.m.: All students are required to join the hiking club in light of the transit...

My 2023 Wrapped was so wrong

By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer The end-of-year has come and gone, and we’re left longing for recaps and wrap-ups that were conveniently forgotten until we...

STORYTIME: THE SPIDER IN MY BATHROOM HAS A FINSTA

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Hi everyone! Welcome back to my channel! I’m sure everyone has been wondering where I’ve been because y’all are obsessed...