September Bingo

By: Charlene Aviles, Staff Writer Plain text of bingo card: Got caught mimicking airbender moves outside lecture hall Couldn’t carry...

An essay by someone who never read the book

By: Craig Allan, SFU Student Frankenstein is about the monster Frankenstein who is created by a doctor, also named Frankenstein. Dr. Frankenstein puts together the...

Your SFU horoscopes September 13–19

By: Carter Hemion, Humour Editor ARIES: You’re a gas, but the things that fuel you might leave you a wreck. At least you’re driven, like...

The SUB be the worst undersea vessel ever created

By: Marco Ovies, Features Editor Call me Ishmael. Some semester ago — ne’er mind how long precisely — I thought I would sail about a...

SFU Student Updates: September 13–19

By: Sara Brinkac, Peak Associate and taken for granted Key Updates None of this means anything According to recent email metrics, 99.5% of SFU students either automatically delete...

SFU announces new eReader to replace textbooks

By: Craig Allan, SFU student In order to reduce the burden of books on students, SFU will now be requiring the use of e-books for...

My Dining Hall disaster

By: Tamanna T., Staff Writer My name is Hella Enderson, and this is the story of how a raccoon and I bonded over our love for...

Fall 2021 courses to guarantee your survival

By: Victoria Lopatka SA 421W – Greetings, Flirting, & Transit in SFU Society  This course will re-introduce students to the study of socializing, post-social isolation. Students...

Research group “Mankind” denies new SFU research

By: Jacob Mattie, Peak Associate In a recent press report, gender-proud man and SFU materials science researcher Mike Roeskòp alleged that diamond remains the hardest...

Your weekly SFU Horoscopes: September 6–12

By: Carter Hemion, Humour Editor ARIES: You already know you’re the main character. Show that off with an obnoxiously loud SFU crest tie. Wear it...