A short biology lesson for dumb idiots who ask “is your pussy tight?”

With Google searches such as “my girlfriend feels loose is she cheating” and “how to make your vag tighter with vinegar,” I feel that...

Acting courses for porn stars

By: Winona Young Here at the Vocational Adult Acting Graduates Institute of North America, or VAAGINA, we embrace artists and actors alike to challenge the...

Political fanbase nicknames

So you like politicians, huh??? So much so that you’re a self-proclaimed fan that stands beside them under all circumstances? That’s all fine and...

Collaboration in a real-life workplace

By: Simrin Purhar Manager: Corporate called and wants us to make “collaboration” our new mantra. Repeat after me, “Collaboration equals productivity!” Snarky Millennial: Are you talking...

Sightseeing on the 144 SFU/Metrotown

The Simon Fraser University sign that is lit up 24/7 Knowledge. Discovery. New acquaintances. Crippling Debt. A large grey structure atop a foggy...

Your years in university as Beyoncé albums

As every good Beyoncé fan knows, you don’t just end up at Lemonade. Sometimes you gotta go through super awkward red carpets and poor...

Go brand yourself

By: Zoe Vedova Today’s fast-paced world is packed with Internet celebrities turned instant millionaires. These company-sponsored trendsetters are rapidly changing the structure of our society...

EX-MAS

Christmas is pretty much that special someone who dumped you after cuffing season ended. Now, it’s time to grieve.  Instead of the 12 days...

The best and worst handouts SFU has to offer

By: Zoe Vedova As SFU students, we stand in constant vigilance of anyone foolishly attempting to hand us things. While speed-walking from bus stops to...

Wedding ring alternatives

By: Gene Cole If there’s anything important to a university student in the first few weeks of the semester, it’s definitely marriage. Perhaps your mother...