Get in girl, we’re serotoninmaxxing

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Dear diary,  Today, I watched a reel of a mother telling her daughters to go outside via a parody of Jojo...

Relentless reasons to (not) love spring

Editor's note: a previous version of this article referenced the song “Cotton Eye Joe.” It has come to our attention that this song has...

Horoscopes May 6 – 12

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Aries March 21–April 19  Just delete all your social media. You do not have the self-control to prevent yourself from typing, “must...

A hate letter to my immune system

By: Kelly Chia, Editor-in-Sick Dear body, We’ve had our differences these past two months, huh? Since you’ve wrecked my stomach day after day for no apparent...

Casting for Love Is Blind: SFU Edition is underway

By: Izzy Cheung, staff writer Yes, you read that correctly — the Netflix favourite reality TV series, Love Is Blind, is coming to SFU!...

Everyone and their dog is at the beach

By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer Spring is in the air! Or is it? The first nice day of the year brings all the winter hibernators...

Local enby starting every conversation with “have you purchased my gift yet?” during their birthday month

By: C Icart, Humour Editor After 11 torturous non-birthday months, soon to be 25-year-old Blue Rose (again, totally not a pseudonym I am making up...

STORYTIME: THE SPIDER IN MY BATHROOM HAS A FINSTA (part 3)

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Y’allllll. I don’t wanna hear it, I don’t wanna hear it! I know I’m posting this storytime late, but is...

The battle of telecommunications vs. grocery store executives

By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer Well, the big corporate executives are about to throw a big ol’ showdown of the great battle of grocery stores...

Wash your goddamn water bottle

By: Olivia Visser, Copy Editor Heeeey, you. You know who you are. You’re the one who believes you only have to wash me once a...