By: Heidi Kwok, Staff Writer

The rules are simple. Every time you see something on this chart during the first week of classes, mark it off! If you get a blackout, you win! And if you win, you get a free copy of next week’s edition of The Peak (I know, right?!?!). Welcome back to school, kiddos. 

BTW, no free spaces because nothing in life comes for free (except for your prize if you win). 

1. Roasted marshmallows and s’mores at the Burnaby campus fire pits with your friends — oh wait, never mind. 
2. More non-functional elevators than out-of-order signs.
3. Soviet-core architecture: because everyone knows colour is overrated. 
4. Staircases more precarious than the Grouse Grind. You know your calves are in for an unsolicited workout.
5. Free merch, snacks, and goodies during club days! Exploit those club events: your tuition pays for it.
6. Gazing at your calendar and counting the days (while sobbing) until winter break. Give those eyeballs a rinse. Repeat for the next seven years.
7. Plan your entire degree down to the minute, attend your program’s introductory course — then immediately change majors before you get depression. 
8. The person you worked with on a group project last term, who you’ll probably never speak to again. 
9. Overly eager people handing out pamphlets in the AQ trying to tell you about their lord-and-saviour Ponzi.
10. Swarms of enthusiastic, bright-eyed first-years obviously congregating smack-dab in the middle of the AQ. 
11. Marketing from SFU social media accounts: “Canada’s Engaged University — the very same who shut down its Office of Community Engagement.
12.  Students playing an obscure Tchaikovsky piece on the public pianos around campus — wait a minute . . .  they took those away too!
13. Bus queues that are greater than your will to live.
14. Steve, the resident seagull who loves hanging out with his koi fish buddies at the AQ pond.
15. A grad student snacking on chips with a side of asbestos while studying on the library’s fifth floor.
16. Develop Canvas-grade-notification-phobia. 
17. ‘60s interpretive avocado sculpture.
18. Broken facilities that have stayed broken since your first semester at SFU.
19. Yogi Bear and Boo-Boo running off with the SFU sign. 
20. Having to sell pics of your leftover food on OnlyFans to afford that $299.99 textbook your professor wrote in 1973.
21. Students lining up to buy organic, gluten-free, cruelty-free, free-range, crowd-sourced, and bottomless supply of matcha latte. 
22. Watch an SFU executive pull up in their hot-pink Lamborghini as you step off the 144 bus held together by duct tape and willpower.
23. Catch a rare sighting of Joy Johnson on her contractually-obligated photo-ops on Welcome Day (the only time you’ll ever see her on campus).
24. Accidentally walk in on a Godfather-style meeting between the Raccoon Crime Syndicate Families of Burnaby Mountain.
25. Labyrinth-esque hallways in the RCB that served as the inspiration for Among Us.