By: Matthew Cullings, SFU Student [Verse 1: SFU student] Her name was Joy Johnson, Spent SFU’s money without precaution, While every elevator on the mountain was stoppin’, That’s OK, she’s was online shoppin’. This is her playhouse, We’re just all dolls in a jailhouse, Johnson’s the warden while we walk, She screams, “STAY ENGAGED OR ELSE!” [Pre-chorus: SFU student] I waited by the stage door — oops, I mean the AQ floor, Someone stomped on my face. I looked to the exit door, Wow, Joy Johnson stomped on my face with her stilettos. I said, “You take all my…
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By: Heidi Kwok, asbestos tenant advocate Over the summer, SFU’s asbestos community was served a notice to vacate the fifth floor of the W.A.C. Bennett Library on the Burnaby campus. This eviction coincides with the reopening of the floor on…
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By: The Humour Investigator As I sat at my cubicle in The Peak office, all I could think about was what I used to be. When I was a News Writer, I investigated crime on campus . . . and…
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By: Heidi Kwok, Staff Writer The rules are simple. Every time you see something on this chart during the first week of classes, mark it off! If you get a blackout, you win! And if you win, you get a…
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