By: Hana Hoffman, Peak Associate
Aries
March 21–April 19
It’s not easy to find a matching top and bottom of a swimsuit when you wake up 10 minutes before you have to leave. Summertime is when you have daily outings and no time to reorganize your drawers. It’s just like how sometimes people come to school with two different socks. So don’t worry about what you came wearing today; the two different colours and patterns are as spectacular as beautiful multi-coloured fish in the sea!
Taurus
April 20–May 20
You will thank me for what I’m about to say. A gigantic umbrella should always be on your checklist when going to the beach. If it’s too hot, that’ll be your shade; if it’s raining, it’ll keep you dry. If it’s raining meatballs, they’ll bounce off the umbrella and keep you safe. But most importantly, if you get bored, you can be Mary Poppins.
Gemini
May 21–June 20
If I could give you any advice, it would be to never trust the weather forecast. The predicted sunny days keep getting sudden cloudiness and rain, and sometimes, when it’s supposed to rain, the sun starts to show. However, I don’t blame the weather for feeling under the weather sometimes, and the temperature also has its ups and downs. A beach day is just one of those things you can’t plan in advance. You must look out the window, call your friends, and go immediately!
Cancer
June 21–July 22
Please fill in the blanks of these song lyrics with whatever words you like.
I got that summertime, summertime _______. All I need, is a beauty and a ______ , who can make my life complete. I don’t know if I could ever go without, ______ sugar, high.
Real Cancers answered “mango” for all three. Don’t argue with me. I don’t make the rules; the stars do.
Leo
July 23–August 22
Take this quiz to find out what you should do today!
- Do you like the sound of waves?
- Do you like collecting shells?
- Do you want some natural Vitamin D?
If you answered mostly “yes,” it’s your sign to go to the beach. If you answered mostly “kind of,” it’s still your sign to go to the beach because it means you don’t mind it. If you answered mostly “no,” too bad, I’m already parked on your street so I can drive you to the beach!
Virgo
August 23–September 22
I want to know, in your opinion, which of these is the worst thing to experience at the beach?
- When there’s always sand in your socks and in between your toes
- Accidentally swallowing salt water while swimming
- Accidentally stepping on a rock with barnacles
- Running after an ice cream truck, and then they say they’re sold out
Didn’t mean to be all cold and list these downpours, but at the same time these situations make me feel nostalgic about summer.
Libra
September 23–October 22
Sand castles are the most underrated thing in youth culture. SFU students rarely build sandcastles at the beach, so even little five-year-olds are better architects than them. Libra, you will be the first to build an outstanding sand castle and prove to everyone at the beach that university students are just as talented as kids. Thank you in advance.
Scorpio
October 23–November 21
Your friend drove you for 45 minutes to the beach! But then, while you and your friends are swimming, you suddenly realize you forgot to bring a towel. What will you do now? I have some ideas: get out of the water and pass the beach ball until you dry. Go to the public washroom and use the air dryer. You can’t go back in your friend’s car and leave a wet spot on the car seat!
Sagittarius
November 22–December 21
You’re a brave one for saying “yes” to sun tanning with your buds . . . because, in case you don’t know, there are many cases of bird poop incidents annually. Ugh, what a pain it is when you’re having the most relaxing time lying on your towel on the soft sand, and suddenly you hear a splat on your leg. Well actually, I heard getting pooped on by a bird means good luck, so I guess there’s a positive on both outcomes.
Capricorn
December 22–January 19
It’s your first time surfing and your uncle is teaching you. You’re a bit wobbly but getting the hang of it. Then all of a sudden you see a school of small fish do little jumps out of the water and a beautiful dive back in. What a cute occurrence and I think it would also mean good luck!
Aquarius
January 20–February 18
Snorkeling season is the best season! A break from land creatures for once. I’m tired of being chased down by dogs, spied on by crows, and bitten by mosquitos. I can’t wait to get underwater by the colourful coral and greet the beautiful lionfish, parrotfish, flagtail. . . wait, I forgot I’m in Vancouver and not on vacation in Miami :’(
Pisces
February 19–March 20
I have a serious question for you, Pisces, and I think it would be helpful to have already made your decision before a situation like this occurs so you can act fast. Picture this: you’re playing beach volleyball in the middle of the last round which determines the winner because the teams are currently tied. Suddenly you see an eagle snatching snacks out of your backpack! Would you rather stay in the game and save your team from losing or run after the eagle to save your snacks? I already know the answer of course. But I wanted to test how well you know yourself.
