By: C Icart, Humour Editor

Insert over-the-top thumbnail here with me looking shocked. There is text in all caps that reads, “I FINALLY FOUND MY MOM” 

Hi everyone! Welcome back to my channel! I have the wildest story to share with you all today. I know y’all criticized me last time, saying I was being “dramatic” and “lying and exaggerating for views,” but it’s not my fault a lot of exciting stuff happens to me and not you! If you’re a boring hater, this video is definitely not for you. Everyone else, don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe. Click the little bell so you’ll be notified every time I post a new video. Did you click it yet? I’ll wait. 

Okay, cool! Let’s get into it! Y’all are literally not even going to believe this like; it’s so wild. Like maybe take a seat and get comfortable. Yeah, like, sit on the floor because I swear this story will make you fall. off. your. chair. 

Oh wait, wait, I forgot to say all my social media is linked in the description. Don’t forget to follow me. And there are links to literally everything in the background of this video in the description as well. They’re affiliate links, so please help me get rich! Oh my god, is it bad that I said that out loud? Whatever . . . I’m so relatable and quirky!

Anyways, let me stop rambling and actually tell y’all about this burning hot tea! Speaking of tea, this video’s sponsored by Scam Wellness Tea. I only started drinking it this morning because that’s when I finalized my contract with the brand, but I already noticed so many positive changes. My skin is clearer, my gut is detoxed (whatever that means, I don’t know), and my hair is five inches longer!

The first 30 people to click the link in the description will get 5% off a one-year supply of Scam Wellness Tea. That means it’s only going to cost you $400! What a steal. So run, don’t walk, to the description and get your Scam Wellness Tea today. 

So back to the storyyy. Okay, so, like, as you know, I go to SFU . . . Oh my god, I know y’all are going to leave a bunch of comments below saying SFU looks like a prison, but like I literally don’t care. Also, more comments mean more engagement, which means higher odds of me getting onto Morphe’s PR list.  

Oh my god, y’all, I just realized I’m going to be late for class, so I have to stop filming, but part two will be uploaded soon! In the meantime, you can check out the other videos on my channel. Again, don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe! Thank you so much for watching. Bye!

Insert annoying royalty-free music playing in the background of an outro linking other pointless STORYTIME videos