Written by Madeleine Chan, Staff Writer
Are you stuck at home? Have you sucked your favourite streaming service as dry as you’ve been sucked of motivation? Fear not, for we’ve curated for you the perfect list of lounge-worthy dramas to watch from the comfort of your own window. No matter where you live, these shows are the best of the best in window-watching entertainment — perfect for the suburban scandal in all of us.
Patricia and Her Performative Pot-banging
This drama explores the psyche of middle-aged mom Patricia, who “loves” essential workers. Armed with a metal pot and spoon, she emerges every evening at 7 p.m. to slam them against each other and holler like a rabid soccer fan. The best part? Nothing says dramatic irony like knowing that she’ll eventually go back to degrading the very service workers she’s supposedly supporting. If you miss her daily screams, you can catch up on Facebook, where she’ll be shaming her friends into joining her.
Wine Moms: Six Feet Apart
Catch this classic group on a sunny weekend afternoon after they’ve sedated their kids with money for iPad microtransactions. They pull up with their bottles of rosé and folding chairs to arrange themselves in a socially distanced circle (well, almost socially distanced, they’re usually a little too tipsy to gauge six feet correctly) on someone’s obnoxiously kept lawn. A great way to keep up on all the neighbourhood gossip and finally feel like you’re part of something greater than yourself.
The Height of Suburbia
An annual spring special, The Height follows the conflicts between neighbours as they start gardening again to prove their civic worth. This season, Bob planted his coriander too close to Bert’s cumin and now they’re trying to fight as harshly as they can for their “rightful” land while also maintaining a safe distance. HGTV wishes they had this level of spice.
Who Needs an Alarm Clock?
Picture this: Brady Bunch meets reality T.V. meets a jackhammer. Listen in to the lives of your neighbours as they yell at each other in the confines of their own home, thinking that their shouting can’t be heard down the block. SPOILER ALERT: there’s no season finale. It’s just rerun after rerun, the whole cast wailing about the same old things like a World War II air raid siren! Fun, family-friendly, and perfect for those early-morning or middle-of-the-night go-getters.
A mailbox-view exclusive, this show follows two star-crossed teens as they meet daily at the communal mailbox to exchange hushed words of affection through their disposable face masks. Maybe the distance is just a few feet, but to their horny, touch-starved young souls, it seems like kilometres. Great for people who like to vicariously live through the experiences of strangers.