Written by: Tiffany Chang, Peak Associate
Summer; ‘tis the season for sweating balls 24/7. Broke students unable to afford A/C become even more disgusting. It’s no secret that as a person diagnosed with DTS — Drenched T-shirt Syndrome — the struggle is undeniably real! If you’re living on a shoestring budget, but you don’t want to die of heat stroke just because air conditioning costs a fortune, then here are some refreshing and cost-effective ways to stay cool!
The Tub n’ Fans Method
Step 1: Filling your bathtub with ice. Go to your local gas station with a Slurpee cup and collect ice cubes one cup at a time until the right amount has been acquired.
Step 2: Bring every fan you own into the bathroom. The goal is to have them all going at once.
Step 3: Steal some fans. Chances are, you only own one, possibly two. You’ll have to crawl up balconies and kick in bathroom window screens to steal some from neighbors. Grab a couple of chairs that can fit into your bathroom, then proceed to place the small4er, portable fans on the chairs and position them so they face you and turn them all on at once.
Step 4: Submerge yourself in your arctic breeze oasis.
The Bucket of Imagination Method
Step 1: Place a bucket of freezing water right in front of where you’re sitting and have the most absorbent hand towel you own at the ready.
Step 2: Let your imagination flow. The Bucket Method allows for imagination to take you away from your sweltering squalor. Imagine that you’re standing underneath a nice, cold waterfall after discovering it during a backpacking trip.
Step 3: Dunk the towel into the bucket and wring out the water above your head. You won’t notice the difference between the two. Trust me.
The Pool Method
Step 1: Go to the Vancouver Aquarium and jump into one of the exhibits there. I highly suggest the deep one that used to have beluga whales. When you do, it doesn’t matter if there’s a show happening or not. You’ll just be a part of it. Nothing can stand between you and the sweet, cooling sensation of freezing water. Put on a life jacket and float freely.
Step 2: When the police are called, you get a free ride back downtown!
The “Brain Freeze” Method
Step 1: Grab a whole whack of ice packs, and (of course) ice. Distribute them amongst three or four coolers.
Step 2: Put two coolers on either side of you so that you can shove your hands into them during a short break from studying. Move one cooler so it’s underneath your desk, then rest both of your feet inside.
If you think this sounds great, there’s more.
Step 3: Make sure to keep a heaping cup of more ice cubes close by so that, without removing your hands, you can just bend over slightly and scoop up ice with your bottom lip. The ideal long-term outcome for this method is to have your hands, feet, and mouth Elsa-level frozen.