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EVERYDAY SFU HEROES

Humour

Here's to the mundane heroes

Peak Web
Peak Web
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Written by: Jennifer Low, Peak Associate

This one goes out to all the unsung heroes who don’t need to don a pair of tights and a cape to do some good in the world. Their unlimited kindness and thankless work have made SFU a better place. Here’s to SFU’s mightiest, mundane heroes.

“The Collector”
The student that offers to collect the exam papers for no reason. (Or so you think…)

The Collector is an anti-hero that lives in the grey area between the light and dark side. Their actions make you question whether they are secretly checking out other people’s answers or are showing an act of genuine kindness. Regardless, we thank them for their service to SFU that allows us to lazily remain in our seats when the exams need to be handed in.

“The Voice”

The one student that talks in tutorial when no one else will

“What do you think?” the TA asks and the silence is horrible, painful even. The TA’s eyes glare disdainfully at the class, taking pleasure in the fact that she knows that no one did the readings. You sit there, sweaty palms rubbing against your jeans, as you ask yourself over and over whether or not you should be the one to speak. Your eyes dart across the room and then back to your desk, avoiding the TAs’ gaze. It’s in the grips of these terrible moments that a hero appears, gloriously to save us all. It is The Voice that makes you look up, the Voice that speaks the mind of everyone in the dimly lit AQ classroom with enough courage and bravery to break even the most deafening silences. We shall forever be in your debt.

“The Martyr”

The student in tutorial that takes the fall for their whole group when discussing what their group project is about.

Think of all those times when the TA or prof told you that after your small group discussions someone in the group would need to report out. Remember the epic panic that ensued as you looked desperately back and forth at your group members trying to decide who would have to be the one to speak in front of the class. Has anyone ever fully thanked the Sacrificial Group Member for all they do for us? By speaking up for the greater good, this group member has put everything on the line, including their reputation and dignity, for their whole group’s sake. The ultimate display of teamwork, this is the greatest sacrifice one can make. What would we do without you, Sacrificial Group Member?

“The Supplier”

The student who always has extra supplies to share when you forgot

Need a pen? White-out? Three different kinds of highlighters? You know who’s got your back and has an endless supply of mini staplers in their bag? The Supplier. With the superhuman ability to produce anything you need from their seemingly bottomless backpack of supplies. In those dark times of sheer panic when you realize you’ve forgotten your supplies just before an exam, or the fear of having to face a Scantron sheet eraser-less, we always know who we can count on to save the day. Thank you, Supplier. (I’ll return that pencil you lent me last semester soon . . . I promise . . . really . . . I swear . . .)

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© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society