Written by: Tiffany Chang, Peak Associate
I’m sure all of us Disney lovers wish that the characters were actually real. Come to think, having a Disney character for a roommate would be the ultimate, right? But before you shamelessly fantasize about an automatic, platonic “happily ever after,” you might need to consider some funny quirks. Here’s a run-down of some who I think would make the best and worst roommates.
She’s super sweet, not to mention you’ll have a tidy dorm 24/7! I’ve definitely noticed her fantastic wardrobe now that she has the powerful abilities of her fairy godmother at her disposal. Maybe she’ll lend me her cute glass slippers sometime, assuming my feet can fit into them! Imagining myself all gussied up in literally magical attire is beyond awesome!
The only drawback is her rodent-friends. Firstly, the mice do seem nice enough. After all, they did help save the poor thing escape from her stepmother. However, I don’t want people freaking out and calling an exterminator in the middle of the night. Cinderella would go rat-shit crazy!
Meals with Belle will never be dull. You’ll get dinner and a show every day! Plus, you won’t have to wash anything either; the dishes can clean themselves! A happy-go-lucky, self-operating kitchen sounds like a dream. Eating freshly-made food using fun-loving utensils? Count me in!
But oh, wait. Now that her hideous beast of a boyfriend has turned as drop-dead gorgeous as one of the Greek gods, there is definitely some R-rated action for this G-rated character. Not sure when this transformation took place — I heard through the grapevine that there’s this self-help book he read called From a Monster to a God: How to transform your Ugly Personality and Appearance by Showing Scraps of Kindness to a Young Lady, co-authored by a clock and a candelabra.
Mulan may have fallen for him in the movies, but as a roommate? I’m not so sure. He’ll definitely bust my ass for not being in shape. I don’t feel thrilled about him and his goal to “make a man out of” everyone he meets. I mean, getting down to business doesn’t always mean we’re preparing to defeat the Huns.
That reminds me: his fetish for unnecessary violence could lead to picking fights with the neighbours. I don’t have the manpower to get through this semester, let alone deal with constant visits from our RA concerning my roommates’ “frequent initiations of physical altercations.” Sorry, Shang!
Sleeping Beauty: (AKA “Aurora” to her parents, AKA “Rose” to her three fairy godmothers, AKA I really don’t know anymore, she has way too many different names)
Ah, yes, someone I know who sleeps just as much as I do! Now, I love the girl and her story, but the main concern I have is the fact that Aurora’s easily impressionable. She could be enchanted by some sort of salesman on campus as we speak! I might have to watch out for her like an older sister. Look at how easily she was cast under Maleficent’s spell! Yikes! I already have a black cloud over my head as it is!
Now I need to take care of her, so she doesn’t go around pricking her damn middle-finger on spinning wheels? Thanks, but no thanks.