I almost fell off my seat after reading this: a few 14-year-olds from Isaac Newton Academy in Britain had invented a condom that glows different colours depending on what type of disease or infection you have. I thought, “Well, at least when they start actually having sex they’ll know to be responsible about it!”

While the contraceptive S.T. EYE is still in the concept phase, it has been receiving a lot of media attention, probably due to the fact that such an invention was created by students so young.

This striking youthfulness is reflected in the product itself: I can’t imagine a more awkward type of sexual technology that would kill the mood faster. This is a creation that could only be invented by sexually inexperienced teenagers who do not yet understand that using this condom would be the absolute worst time to learn you have a sexually transmitted disease or infection.

If anything, this new idea should be a reminder that if we’re unsure about ourselves, we should get ourselves tested before we have sex with our partner, rather than to experience that heart-stopping glow beneath the sheets. One of the teens told The Daily Mail at a TeenTech conference that the condom would allow people to “take immediate action in the privacy of their own homes without the invasive procedures at the doctors.”

Let people enjoy protected sex to fullest with a good ol’ Trojan.

Alright, the kid has a point. Doctors can be scary and uncomfortable, and while I personally put my faith in medical care professionalism and confidentiality, I can see how others wouldn’t be so keen. In this case, rather than to share that glorious ‘moment of truth’ with your significant other, it may be best to develop this technology into something a little more personal.

The condom is designed to hold molecules that will attach to STD bacteria which will then cause the glow. So, why does this technology have to be in a condom? Couldn’t we create something equivalent to a pregnancy test, in which people could privately test themselves before engaging in sexual activity?

I get it, people just want to have sex. Masturbation is boring and lonely when I have a warm body to share the experience with. And besides, buying a glowing disease test at the pharmacy is even more awkward than buying the actual condoms. However, I strongly feel that for those who care about their sexual health and value their privacy, the market will be there for such a device.

The concept is groundbreaking, but now it has to be taken from the hands of three teens and usefully adapted to something that will be quick, convenient, and allow both men and women to take immediate action in the privacy of their own homes without other witnesses involved. Let people enjoy protected sex to fullest with a good ol’ Trojan.

Sexual diseases are incredibly personal; we really must respect that fact and keep it this way.