Potential airplane seating leaves me face-to-face with discontent

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Photo Credit: Saida Saetgareeva

Stepping onto an airplane in France may never again be the same thrilling experience. Airline Zodiac Aerospace has filed a patent for an airplane seat design that would save space by forcing passengers to sit face-to-face with one another. Though implementation is not yet in practice, the possibility has engaged public debate; many are seething with anger and anxiety at the prospect.

Last I checked, humans have never had wings. Our biological makeup confirms that we simply aren’t meant to fly. Flight is pretty much as natural to us as a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Naturally, flying can come with some anxiety.

Couple the fear of being suspended mid-air in a hurling death machine with the girl opposite you interpreting your absent-minded gaze as a creepy come-on. Well, let’s see, I didn’t pay attention in social studies, but I’m pretty sure existential dread plus social faux pa equals projectile vomit on whoever is directly facing me.

CBC reports that the design would encourage real, human social interaction. Who knows, a little footsie could lead to more than just footsie, right? Please. If I wanted to interact with people I’d go on Facebook. Is airline social interaction really even worth it?

Existential dread plus social faux pas equals projectile vomit on whoever is directly facing me.

I suppose, if introduced to other countries, this seat design is meant to include more seats on a plane, which allows more passengers to fit on board, which results in more profit for airlines like Air Canada, and hence cheaper flights for us all. However, given that so few airlines dominate the air travel industry, there’s a chance they’ll collectively decide to not implement these blueprints to physical space. We’ll have to wait and see how things ‘plane out.’

Moreover, there are some logistic considerations. Though tests are still to be carried out, I’m skeptical of the evacuation procedures on such planes. During loud and frantic emergencies, the seating placements could be disorienting and inefficient during potential evacuations where people look to flight attendants for directions.

A side note, will there still be space for those little personal entertainment systems that planes have nowadays? I’m doubtful, and this is a real shame, considering I love what airplanes have implemented entertainment-wise in recent years.

It’s important to note that these changes, if made, will not be made for a while. Control your uproar, people — these plans aren’t set in stone. Here’s to hoping I never have to sit face-to-face with any of you on my flight to France.

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