Embarrassing encounters are a part of everyday life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t totally own these moments and come out on top. Here are four embarrassing situations and ways you can make the most out of them.
The name game
A voice calls out to you while you’re waiting at the bus stop: “Hey, how’s it going?” Reality kicks in as you realize this person is addressing you. Crap. Your brain kicks into full-throttle as it struggles to produce a name for this inquiring soul. Finally, like a fight-or-flight response system, you respond with “Hey youuuuuu . . . ” Too late — the vagueness and prolonged “u” make it obvious you don’t remember who they are.
Solution: Commit to the memory lapse and use amnesia as a scapegoat. Say the reason you don’t remember them is because you don’t remember who you are. Use The Bourne Identity as a reference point and go from there — but try to avoid saying you’re a spy or anything like that.
The “ex” in text message
It’s Friday and you and your pals are ready for a night out. Everything is perfect: your hair miraculously decided to cooperate; you’ve got some fresh threads. Next thing you know, it’s 10 a.m. and your credit card is $100 closer to being maxed out. Through squinted eyes you scan your phone and realize you’ve sent “I miss you” messages to multiple exes. Reluctantly, you look at your call history and notice the last outgoing call lasted 41 minutes. Who knew you and your ex had so much to talk about at three in the morning?
Solution: Break your phone and refrain from buying a new one indefinitely. You can’t drunk dial an ex if you don’t have something to call them with and the money you save from your cell phone bill can be allocated to next weekend’s tequila budget.
Staying at the party after being tardy
You’re running down the indistinguishable halls of the AQ, already 10 minutes later for your next lecture. After making sure the door closes quietly behind you, you take a seat near the back of the lecture hall and set up your notes and laptop before noticing something: none of these people look familiar. These aren’t your classmates, and this isn’t your lecture.
Solution: Just kick it until the break or even until the very end of class. All your stuff’s set up anyways and you already disrupted the class once by coming in late. What’s the worst that can happen? You learn something new?
You’ve just walked into a washroom at school and you realize the lighting inside is too perfect to not use for a quick before-class selfie. Phone out, camera on, you’re close to hitting that two-arm bicep pose or that optimal cleavage shot when, to your horror, someone walks into the bathroom. You lock eyes with each other and wait for someone to make the first move.
Solution: Trick question. This isn’t an awkward situation, because nothing is embarrassing when you come out of it with a picture-perfect selfie. Post it and love it.