Cypress Mountain announces plans to reopen with slate of dirt-centred activities

Illustration by Anosha Ashfaq
Illustration by Anosha Ashfaq

After experiencing disappointing levels of snowfall since opening in November, local ski destination Cypress Mountain has reportedly halted regular attractions and will, for the rest of the “season,” be offering a new range of dirt-orientated activities better suited for the mountain’s current conditions.

“We wanted our faithful customers and season ticket holders to still be able to enjoy the mountain they know and love, regardless of what the average daily temperatures and lack of snowfall have to say,” explained Cypress Mountain marketing representative Charlene Willis. “With this exciting crop of fun, family-friendly activities, you’ll soon be asking yourself, ‘Snow who?’”

The slate of attractions, which will become available March 1, are advertising “new classic activities” such as downhill mud-skiing and mud-snowboarding, dirt snowshoeing, and even a twist on an old favourite, soil-tubing. Willis says that depending on how temperate things remain, conditions might also permit for visitors to take advantage of the expansive cross-country silt-skiing trails that Cypress is sure to become popular for.

The “multi-faceted mudplex,” as it’s being described, is the first of its kind in the world, and could arguably pave the way for similar ventures elsewhere, depending on whether the rest of the season turns a profit.

“Cypress Mountain is going where no ski and snow resort has gone before,” added Willis. “We’re hoping folks will come out, grab hold of the nearest dirt tube, and join us for what’s sure to be a heck of a ride!”

In addition to the new attractions, construction is now underway on a new 50-person spa on the mountain that will offer several mud-related relaxation experiences.

“Mud baths, loam facials, mud pedicures, clay massages. Are some of those things even real? We’re going to find out at Cypress Mountain’s Premiere Spa and Salon Retreat,” explained Willis. “We’re interested in giving visitors the full Cypress Mountain experience and if that means caking them head to toe, literally, in local mud, then we’ll do it. Basically we’ll try anything at this point.”

This comes as good news for locals who already purchased season passes for Cypress Mountain earlier this year, as Willis says these individuals will enjoy priority guestlisting to the spa when it opens and two-for-one tube rentals throughout all of March.

So far, the announcement and new activities have drawn a polarized response from those on social media, with some praising the integration of mud as creative and exciting while others argue that Mount Cypress is prematurely committing to a passing fad, a decision they’ll regret once global warming is proven to be nothing but a hoax.