Students of Mrs. Jamieson’s Grade Seven class were shocked to learn that the new girl, Susan Barns, who was once described by her classmates as “perfectly normal,” had in fact been home-schooled for most of her young life.
Barns, 12, recently moved to Vancouver from Telegraph Cove, a small city located on Vancouver Island. While public education was available to her via commute to another city, Barns’ parents made the decision to deprive her of any sense of normalcy or chance at having a well-balanced upbringing.
“When Susan told me she’d been home-schooled up until this year, I thought to myself, ‘What, is this someone’s idea of a sick joke?’” a source in Jamieson’s class told The Peak. “I have a sense of humour, but this is just taking things too far.”
Barns’ reputation as being formerly home-schooled has already led to repercussions in the Grade Seven community. Several students have been forced to throw away items previously lent to Barns, while another classmate was forced to delete her birthday event on Facebook and create a new one excluding Barns.
“Usually we can spot a home-schooled kid from a mile away,” said Travis Curls, reported class bully. “That way we can start making them feel alienated right away. The new girl had everyone fooled.”
Upon further investigation, it was also revealed that Barns’ family isn’t even religious, further deepening the mystery of how a normal, non-religious zealot came to learn from her parents within the comfort of their home. It’s possible that Barns was hypnotized during her first seven years of schooling into believing she isn’t religious — while subconsciously being a devoted Catholic or Mormon — but this is just wild speculation.
When The Peak contacted Mrs. Jamieson to comment on her freakishly normal student, she told reporters that, “In my classroom, I tell my kids to follow the Golden Rule and treat people the way they want to be treated themselves. Therefore I will be contacting Mr. and Mrs. Barns immediately and asking them how they would have liked it if their parents had forced them to be home-schooled.”