Listen up, I’ve been hearing a lot of complaints tonight and I’ve got to say that I am downright sick of it.

Can I get more water? When are the breadsticks going to be here already? Could I get that without onions? Can I get that but without the mushrooms and pepperoni instead? Come on! Why don’t you just order a pepperoni pizza instead of a mushroom pizza then?

I have to put up with a lot of shit just to get food on this goddamn family’s table and it’d be nice if, for once, someone would just appreciate it.

If I could just have one person thank me for remembering to stock the table with salt and pepper instead of just complaining about how there aren’t any napkins, it might be okay. Do I ever hear that though? No, I just hear a whole lot of whining.

I work really hard to provide families with their food, and sure I also get paid money for it, money that I will in turn use to buy myself a new Xbox, but still I’d like a little more recognition.

You think it’s easy for me to work here on select nights throughout the month? Putting in 10 to 15 hours, every single week? No way, it can be hell. I’ve missed out on tons of super fun, great parties just so that you don’t have to go hungry or have Darryl as your waiter (seriously, Darryl’s awful).

So please, show some goddamn respect when you come to one of my tables. As long as you are under my roof (well, Boston Pizza’s roof) you better show some gratitude.

I don’t have to do this for you, you know, I do it because I care. I care about getting that Xbox. Everyone I know has the new one and now I don’t have anyone to play with online, it’s the worst.

Anyway, hopefully now you’ll realize how hard I work to put food on this family’s table and just shut up about those breadsticks. They’re on their way. When I said 10 minutes, I meant 10 minutes. Just relax.