Where are they now?

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Ever wonder what happened to those celebrities who were everywhere back then, but have since fallen off the face of the earth? Well, stop asking yourself stupid questions like an idiot and find out where they are — now!

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Kuro Katsuo

Japan’s #1 Suicide Bomber (1943-1943)

Oh man, Kuro Katsuo used to be the biggest deal back in ‘43 after he single handedly killed 300 allied soldiers and himself. He was on the cover of almost every magazine and newspaper in Japan for a solid month and was even named Tokyo’s “Mr. Suicide Bomber”. Unfortunately, following his crowning achievement he’s said to have retired from living and is now resting all across the south pacific.

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Former Provinces of the Soviet Union

Latvia, Belarus, Ukraine . . . why do you never hear about these guys anymore?

Back in the ‘80s, the provinces of the Soviet Union were almost inseparable and spent all their time together as the best of friends. But what ever happened to them? Well, their break-up was pretty dramatic. Belarus still isn’t talking to Kyrgyzstan. To this day Russia still calls Bulgaria almost every week asking if they can all get back together. From everything I’ve heard, Ukraine’s doing really well though.

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Your Lucky Pair of Gym Socks

The unique ones with the blue stripe that definitely weren’t mass-produced

Remember those guys? The socks you claimed helped you score 30 points in that pick-up basketball game? Bad news, you left your lucky socks at the laundromat and the owner threw them out. The good news, however, is that they didn’t actually contain any magic powers. That great game you played? That was all you. And all that recent bad luck you’ve been having? That isn’t because you aren’t wearing those socks, it’s just because your life is slowly deteriorating in the way it was always destined to. What a relief, eh?

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