VANCOUVER — It’s been kept under wraps for weeks but last Friday SFU’s rival post-secondary institution announced that they have made a landmark, first-of-its kind deal for the future of their textbooks.
According to sources, UBC will become the first university in Canada to have standardized textbooks through all faculties with every single course forced to have all of their reading material published as part of the ‘For Dummies’ series of instructional books.
“We can’t think of a more fitting company to represent our school,” explained UBC president Stephen Toope as he unveiled the plan, “Yellow is one of our school colours right? Okay, it works.”
The new deal is expected to help students reduce textbook shopping time drastically as, according to Toope, they will “no longer have to waste hours searching for needlessly complicated titles like Intro to Philosophy or Understanding 19th Century Literature but instead all courses will have straightforward titles like Philosophy 100 for dummies, English 230 for dummies and Textbook Torrenting 101 for dummies.”
UBC has stated that beyond the ribbing they are sure to receive from other local “inferior schools,” the ‘For Dummies’ books will be more effective than traditional textbooks thanks to their easy-to-follow chapter headings and the proven positive effects of starting out chapters with single-panel cartoons.
“I’m really excited about the new books” excited first-year art student, Tom Shannon, told The Peak, “I used to be so bored with all my dry, tedious reading material but now no doubt it will be as fun as that summer I learned to play Beginner Funk Bass Guitar!”
President Toope has stated that the new textbook-system will be introduced to the UBC Bookstore at the beginning of next semester barring any complications or “significant wooing from the Complete Idiot’s Guide to’ people.”
