zach siddiqui
DEAR PEAKIE: Talking washrooms, wash-outs, and narcissism
February 4, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Dear Peakie, Do I absorb Jeff Bezos' worth if I eat him or does everything stay the same? From, Didn’t Get a Scholarship This Term • • • Dear Didn't Get a Scholarship This Term, I would advise against this. You can’t even stomach capitalism now. Swallow this man whole and you’ll turn out like that guy from my high school who went grad camping the year before I graduated: in the hospital, getting your stomach pumped because you partied harder than you could handle. And just like that guy, you will turn into what my…
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Mount Burnabus: Rise of the SFU Olympians
February 3, 2020Written by Juztin Bello, Madeleine Chan, Kelly Chia, Gabrielle McLaren, and Zach Siddiqui If you read the Percy Jackson books, then you know that the twelve Olympian gods of Greek lore travel wherever the flame of civilization goes. The flame…
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DEAR PEAKIE: Talking over the cold, homicide, and fake news
January 22, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Dear Peakie, How can I stay warm on campus? I literally wear so many layers and the cold mountain still freezes me to the bone. From, MD Hi, MD, Layers are useless and…
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SFU welcomes its REAL new president: Canadian-brand Meghan Markle
January 21, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor After months of tireless searching, a stroke of good luck has brought SFU our next school president. In a move to return to its radical eat-the-rich roots, SFU will be replacing Andrew Petter in…
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Trudeau’s new beard “full of secrets,” sources said last Wednesday
January 8, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor As Prime Minister Justin Trudeau dons a scruffy new look for the new year, sources close to him have suggested that his new facial hair may have an ulterior motive. “He’s totally rich because…
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DEAR PEAKIE: SFU’s latest and greatest advice column
January 7, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor All questions submitted by SFU students! --- Dear Peakie, Despite feeling lonely, I have an independent streak that drives me away from most relationships. But it sounds nice to be in one, and I…
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Students still can’t name their Fall 2019 classes, know only the course numbers
January 6, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Though the Spring 2020 semester has just started, most of SFU’s student body reportedly cannot name their courses from last semester when asked. Students all over SFU’s three campuses engaged this morning in their…
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The Peak Artist Rewind 2019: The best artists of the year
January 4, 2020By Kitty Cheung, Ben McGuinness, Madeleine Chan, Zach Siddiqui, Juztin Bello, Kim Regala, Nicole Magas, Kelly Chia, Lubaba Mahmud cehryl by Kitty Cheung [caption id="attachment_112556" align="alignnone" width="300"] Screenshot via Instagram[/caption] cehryl is a Hong Kong-born artist whose work is full…
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