Top Ten
Top Ten SFSS executive team candidates
February 7, 2022Jane Hoo Not many people know Jane by her first name, but all our readers will recognize her as the person who designed those “Owl in area” signs last year during the scourge of intermittent owl attacks in Burnaby. Admittedly, Jane’s platform seems to be largely owl-based but we believe her proven track record of actual action in the SFU community automatically puts her as a top contender for this election. Reginald Trashpanda III Currently serving as resident food critic for The Peak, Reginald Trashpanda III is a raccoon of many opinions. “Our university is in dire need of culture,…
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Top Ten worst movies of all time
January 25, 20221. Licorice Pizza A movie revolving around a couple that has nothing to do with licorice or pizza is bound to be a flop. The title is so distracting that I could barely focus on the plot of the film (which…
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Top Ten loopholes for your New Year’s resolutions
January 12, 2022“Save more money” People are always so stressed about money. Saving this, spending that, “there’s no room in the budget for a 16 ft statue of you sir.” But our problem lies not in our obsession with money but in…
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Top 10 holiday gifts for SFU students
November 28, 2021A framed photo of SFU administration In moments of peace and times of despair, I always think of my loved ones. Help a student in your life feel comfort with a framed photo of SFU’s administration. Unfortunately, there’s no photo…
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Top Ten things to do with leftover pumpkins after Halloween
November 25, 2021Let them rot in your room to distract from your lack of décor You moved into your dorm room in September, but it looks exactly like it did on move-in day: scratched-up white walls, beige desk, smudged mirror. Don’t pretend…
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Top 10 useless superpowers you will get going to SFU
November 25, 2021Cracking a watermelon open with your thighs With all the stair climbing and racing across campus to classes, your thighs will develop into trunks of steel! No more dangerous knives and missing fingers at your next picnic . . .…
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Top Ten Simon Fraser University name alternatives
July 19, 2021Skunk Forest University We need to come up with a new name for the school’s athletics department anyway, so why not combine the two? Our opponents won’t see us coming because they’ll be totally distracted by our pungent spray! Surrey…
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Top Ten future COVID-19 denier movies
June 24, 2021Maskless Saidie Jennings has been in a long term relationship — with her mask. It kept her warm, anonymous, and safe from COVID-19. After reading a Twitter thread about how masks are choking hazards with microchips installed in them by…
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Top Ten movies “cinephiles” can namedrop to assert their dominance over casual film viewers
May 24, 2021The Shawshank Redemption (Dir. Frank Darabont, 1994) If you’ve got a heartbeat, you like The Shawshank Redemption. Name-dropping this film in conversation not only shows people that you can recognize a good story, but that you are also capable of…
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Top Ten things me and the boys are gonna do after we’re vaccinated
March 30, 2021Loiter at the mall If there’s one thing me and the boys missed doing, it’s wandering around the mall. We’d go into stores like Lids and Sport Chek and refuse to buy anything or put anything back despite trying an…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]