Marissa Ouyang
More lies to tell your kids
October 4, 2018Written by: Jennifer Low Let’s be honest: we were all told some interesting lies by our parents to make our childhood more “magical” or keep us out of trouble. Now that we are “all grown up” (or at least enough to ride the bus by ourselves) it’s time to start thinking about how we can screw up our own children in our own very specific way . . . Lie #1: Convince your children that every holiday is actually a week later Boxing Day sales are way better than that mad Christmas shopping rush; but it always occurs after you…
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Clubbing at SFU
September 25, 2018Written by: Nathaniel Tok With Clubs Days having just ended, the newly minted SFU Student Amusement Department (SAD) has worked with the equally new SFSS (Simon Fraser Student Shenanigans) to come up with a list of new clubs based on…
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Students caught in infinite loop of talking about school
September 14, 2018Written by: Aaron Richardson BREAKING NEWS: Reports are streaming in about two SFU students who have been caught in an infinite loop of talking about school for the last four months. Eyewitness reports say that this began at a party…
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Resource roundup: Everything you might need at SFU
September 7, 2018By: Gabrielle McLaren, Features editor Orientation, welcome packs, campus tours, the wealth of knowledge that is the Internet, and long, confused, meandering walks across Burnaby Mountain are all good starting places to get to know campus. I know that’s basically…
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Rejection letter from the company you’re too unqualified for
July 10, 2018Written by: Eva Zhu Dear Mr. Just Graduated, Thank you for your application for the position of Director of Human Resources. Unfortunately, we here at Way Too Out of Your League Inc. regret to inform you that you have been…
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Dear SFU students, you’re gonna be okay
June 12, 2018By: Grace Rose, Peak Associate When I started university back in 2013, attending class outside of my living room after being homeschooled for 10 years was a little daunting. Yet I learned a lot from my 4.5 years here at…
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