HUMOUR
Your weekly SFU horoscopes: July 27–August 2
July 29, 2020Written by Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: In life, we have choices. Chrome or Firefox. Tea or coffee. Ketchup or mustard. In your case, if given the choice this week between hanging out with a Capricorn or anything else, I would suggest a relaxing game of squirting lemon juice in a brand-new paper cut. Taurus: How far down the YouTube rabbit hole will you journey this week? Will you land on how-to videos about miniature garbage cans? ASMR videos of dogs eating watermelon? Blackhead extraction videos in a language you don’t speak? Who cares? Your brain is vegetating and your…
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Student boosts house party’s cred by changing COVID-19’s Facebook status to “going”
July 23, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor PORT MOODY, BC — In hopes of drawing an upper-class crowd to her illicit house party, a student at SFU logged into her Facebook event and switched COVID-19’s status from “invited” to “going.” “It’s…
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Introducing the ALL-NEW Musk-Ox Man 28-in-1 for Men
July 23, 2020Written by Paige Riding, News Writer Gentlemen . . . are you intimidated by having four products lining the side of your shower? Do your moustache hairs shiver at the thought of lavender? Have the “For Men” labels on products…
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14 creative sitting postures for online lectures
July 20, 2020Written by Hannah Davis, Peak Associate The best thing about online classes is that you can sit any way you want to. Every student hates how in-person classes mean you’re confined to regular seated positions in a regular chair. Butt…
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Group partners file for divorce, dispute custody of project
July 20, 2020Written by Devana Petrovic, Staff Writer Two Beedie students have recently filed for a “group project divorce” after an assignment conflict erupted on their shared Google Doc. Amy Peti, the second year divorcee, spoke with The Peak about the events…
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Your weekly SFU horoscopes: July 20–26
July 20, 2020Written by Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: As the first sign of the Zodiac, you really prove that the old saying “first the worst, second the best” is true. When you’re not busy victimizing yourself, you’re bullying others around you.…
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SFU announces new album, drops single “Petter Weather”
July 14, 2020Written by Madeleine Chan, Staff Writer, and Paige Riding, News Writer After four years of hard work on the SUB, SFU is releasing their first album Academic Integrity, out Fall 2020 via British Columbia Records. The group announced the project and…
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Alumnus “isn’t passionate” about current shampoo brand, regrets not switching it before graduating
July 14, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Recently, a Vancouver-based university graduate took to Facebook to describe his regrets about the life choices he pursued during his bachelor’s. “I just graduated from SFU with honours, and after some heavy self-reflection, I…
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Your weekly SFU horoscopes: July 13–19
July 13, 2020Written by Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: This week, try stretching your body each morning. Sure, stretching has countless health benefits, but I’m mostly telling you to do this because you only ever stretch yourself thin figuratively. Help your hamstrings. Taurus:…
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CONFESSIONALS: I miss Burnaby campus
July 12, 2020Written by Madeleine Chan, Staff Writer I’ll just say it: I miss going to Burnaby campus. Every day, I got chills taking the 145 bus up the mountain and reaching the peak. See the uninviting concrete façade. See the sports…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]