HUMOUR
Top Ten future COVID-19 denier movies
June 24, 2021By: Craig Allan, SFU Student Maskless Saidie Jennings has been in a long term relationship — with her mask. It kept her warm, anonymous, and safe from COVID-19. After reading a Twitter thread about how masks are choking hazards with microchips installed in them by Bill Gates to bring down NATO, Saidie is ditching her mask and finding out what life is like to go maskless and free. Vaxxx Attack! Jenny Schnider thought she would be fine after getting her COVID-19 vaccine. Two weeks after she got her shot, while sitting in a bathtub, she was attacked by the Vaxxx…
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SFUnexplained: Burnaby’s construction hides a monster
June 16, 2021By: Carter Hemion, Staff Writer Anyone who’s had the misfortune of studying classical mythology has likely heard the story of the Greek Labyrinth created to house the Minotaur, a monstrous half-man, half-bull creature. SFU is a real-life case of something…
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Bewildered student confronts the peculiarities of food
June 15, 2021By: Clarence Ndabahwerize, SFU Student Burnaby, BC — A student having a dreadful Zoom lecture was admitted to a local hospital after engaging in an internal debate regarding his appetite. Due to the inevitable wandering thoughts associated with a Zoom class…
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Your weekly SFU Horoscopes: June 14–20
June 15, 2021By: Tiffany Chang, Peak Associate Aries: You will find yourself crawling on all fours trying to get back to your Zoom class after your feet fell asleep from a half an hour on the closest toilet. My advice: be the…
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SFUnexplained: There are aliens among us
June 7, 2021By: Kyla Dowling, Humour Editor The Day The Earth Stood Still, The 6th Day, The Fly II: what do all these movies have in common? They all were filmed on SFU’s Burnaby campus, yes. But that’s not all: these movies…
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Student takes months to realize they’re a vampire because of online classes
June 6, 2021By: Ana Arozarena, SFU Student April 15, 2021 Dear Diary, Not to be a hypochondriac but . . . I might be losing control of my life. Or maybe it’s allergies from when I cleaned the attic the other day.…
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SFU Student Updates: June 7–13
June 6, 2021By: Nathan T, Peak Associate Key Updates SFU campus to remain a source of reassuring consistency We understand that the upcoming fall semester will be a time of transition and uncertainty for all. As such, SFU is committed to ensuring…
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Your weekly SFU Horoscopes: June 7–13
June 5, 2021By: Carter Hemion, Staff Writer ARIES: Don’t let your goals get ahead of you! Invent a new hobby so you can always be the best at it. Underwater ping-pong? Zombie cosplay gymnastics? Vlogging your cheese puff reviews? Your pick. TAURUS:…
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Five emails we’ll probably receive over the course of the semester
June 5, 2021By: Kyla Dowling, Humour Editor Subject line: The Reflecting Pond incident Joy Johnson wants you to know that she is so very sorry about the koi pond incident. No, really. It’s not her fault that she draws her powers…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]