HUMOUR
Sonnet 2021
November 27, 2021By: Carter Hemion, Humour Editor Shall I compare thee to an exam day? Thou art more stressful and despicable: Simon Fraser walls by clouds still grow grey And finals weeks are far too long and full: Sometimes too strict the eyes of profs do stare, And often are their pricey textbooks skimm’d; And every test and quiz to me’s unfair By fate, or my prof’s syllabus, untrimm’d; But my eternal hatred shall not fade Nor lose memory of that pen thou ow’st; Nor shall I hope that A’s are in your grades, When in long lines to The Peak hate…
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Finals season: a warning
November 26, 2021By: Maya Beninteso, SFU Student The cold, like hornets, incessantly stinging at the back of your throat, nibbling at, not only your toes, but your will to live, almost as if it knows, finals season’s prepared to attack stealthily…
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Study session drinking games
November 26, 2021By: Carter Hemion, Humour Editor This November, finals season looms with major assignments piling up like the laundry I’ve been meaning to do for three weeks. To lighten the task of studying, create a game of it! Nothing motivates me…
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Your SFU Horoscopes: November 15–21
November 26, 2021By: Carter Hemion, Humour Editor ARIES: You’re bold. Unconventional. Fucking feral. You’re a coyote, and more specifically the second one to make eye contact with me on campus and start trotting towards me like it expected something. My groceries from…
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Terrible tattoos to match your major
November 26, 2021By: Victoria Lopatka, Staff Writer Business You should get a tattoo of the scene in The Wolf of Wall Street where Mark Hanna and Jordan Belfort — played by Matthew McConaughey and Leonardo DiCaprio — go to lunch. Hanna does…
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Rare cryptids to spot on campus
November 26, 2021By: Charlene Aviles, Staff Writer Welcome to a wildlife safari here at SFU! We’ll be taking a tour of the campus. According to legend, rare creatures appear on Burnaby Mountain. Watch out for them! Do not feed them under any…
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The absolutely true story of when SFU met UBC
November 26, 2021By: Kelly Chia, Staff Writer The Absolutely TRUE Romantic Story of when SFU Met UBC By: shy_SFUxUBC_sh!pper Chapter: 1/? Updated: November 10, 2016 Disclaimer: Okay, before you haters come onto my comments, I’d just like to say that this is…
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Your SFU Horoscopes: November 8–14
November 25, 2021By: Carter Hemion, Humour Editor ARIES: Wednesday is Vanilla Cupcake Day! The day will be a piece of cake after you stress-bake nine dozen cupcakes. And the icing on top? If you give them away, it’s a good deed, not…
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How to pay off your student loans
November 25, 2021By: Marco Ovies, Features Editor Stop spending money on coffee and invest in yourself If you’re spending $6 a day on fancy coffee, you need to stop right now. Instead, use that money to invest in something that will improve…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]