HUMOUR
goSFU? More like noSFU
December 9, 2024By: Sarah Sorochuk, Peak Associate and C Icart, Humour Editor OK, it’s course selection season! Time to log into the easy-peasy, foolproof system called goSFU. It allows us to enroll in classes, request our wonderful advising transcripts, and pay our ever-increasing tuition. But what happens when the world goes dark? The only difference between the goSFU outage and the Y2K bug is that barely anyone was affected by the Y2K bug. The fall 2024 goSFU outage will be many students’ villain origin story. Here’s how the victims lived out the five stages of grief. Denial Students constantly tried to sign…
Continue reading
Vancouver Christmas Market tickets offer the privilege of being able to spend even more money
December 3, 2024By: Cindy Wang, Peak Associate It’s everyone’s favourite month of the year: the month where we pretend there’s snow on the ground and climate change isn’t real so we can get into the Christmas spirit. And what says “Christmas” more…
Continue reading
Horoscopes December 2–8
December 2, 2024By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer Aries March 21–April 19 Your laptop is full of unfinished assignments, and that’s OK! What’s more merry and bright than cramming in last-minute papers and exams worth your entire grade? “Catchup Queen” is your middle…
Continue reading
Paranoia that LinkedIn is watching
November 27, 2024By: Sarah Sorochuk, Peak Associate and C Icart, Humour Editor Do you know the feeling right after you post something online? The doubt and fear that seeps in, and feels like darkness clutching your gut? The thought that something you…
Continue reading
It’s Dear Peakie again
November 26, 2024By: C Icart, Humour Editor and Yasmin Hassan, Staff Writer Dear Peakie, I’m in my main character era. I love it when people watch me walk into lecture one hour late with my oat vanilla latte. I walk through the…
Continue reading
A guide to winning the armrest on airplanes
November 21, 2024By: Cam Darting, Peak Associate High school history class focused on all sorts of armed conflicts. It taught us about the French Revolution, the World Wars, and more. However, they failed to teach us about one ongoing war that impacts…
Continue reading
Stop with the Broccoli Heads! It’s bad!
November 21, 2024By: Sarah Sorochuk, Peak Associate There seems to be a trend among young people that seem to think bubbly perms are all the hype. Judging by the posters that have been put up around Burnaby Campus, urging people to “say…
Continue reading
Horoscopes November 12 – 18
November 21, 2024By: Manal Kashif, SFU Student Aries March 21–April 19 Let’s be honest: Aries are the pursuers in any relationship because of their headstrong attitude. You know who else doesn’t stop until they get what they want? The popular girl in…
Continue reading
Memos from my damp, clean laundry
November 19, 2024By: Sofia Chassomeris, News Writer One hour post-wash It’s been a soggy 60 minutes. The Human hasn’t been around to check on us yet, and it’s starting to get a little cramped, but we’re hanging on. This isn’t our first…
Continue reading
Police officers help the pigs who outran them
November 17, 2024By: Yildiz Subuk, Staff Writer Content warning: mention of police shooting. Recently, a pair of escaped pigs ran loose across a field outside of an elementary school in West Kelowna. Multiple police officers attempted to apprehend the two pigs, but…
Continue reading
