HUMOUR
Student Updates: Work hard now and reach your peak!
February 3, 2025By: Hana Hoffman, Peak Associate Say hello to February, SFU! Unfortunately, it’s not a leap year, so you all have one less day to catch up on assignments. With that being said, don’t procrastinate on reading these important student updates! ANNOUNCEMENTS Motivation of the Month: Give up! Already being inconsistent with your New Year’s resolutions? Still stuck on your January weekly readings? So are the rest of us! You fit right into SFU’s vibrant community of slackers and that’s something to be proud about! Don’t be conceited by turning this February into FebYOUary. Instead, think of others. Don’t make them…
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It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Joy Johnson!
January 30, 2025By: Yasmin Hassan, Staff Writer In a revelation that left the SFU community astonished and amused, it appears our esteemed president and vice-chancellor, Dr. Joy Johnson, is not just an accomplished academic but also a master of multiple personas. After…
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SFU slang to unimpress your profs!
January 30, 2025By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer If you want to be a successful scholar, you’ve got to speak like one. I, your local overly-seasoned scholarly chick who’s well-versed in degrees, dialogue, and drama, will cover all your slang-chatting needs! Look no…
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Horoscopes: Lunar New Year edition
January 27, 2025By: Izzy Cheung, Arts & Culture and Sports Editor Snake 1965 (Us???), 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013, 2025 Snakes, 2025 is going to be your year. Want to know why? Since this year is the year of the snake, it’s time…
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CONFESSIONALS: I wish my students were more creative
January 22, 2025By: C Icart, Humour Editor I’m a TA. Some might even say I’m the best TA (and they would be so unequivocally correct). So naturally, academic integrity (only second to graphic design) is my passion. I spend all my free…
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Quiz: Which broken SFU facility are you?
January 20, 2025By: Phone Min Thant, Staff Writer Welcome to Simon Fraser University. You are yet another facility students pay dearly for, only to find out that you are still recovering from the damages of your first year. Take this quiz to…
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Pretending to act surprised when another man is accused of sexual harassment is hard work!
January 17, 2025By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer Nothing sparks my attention like seeing the latest “fill-in-the-blank celebrity accused of sexual harassment” headline every morning when I wake up and immediately reach for my phone before I have the chance to open my…
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Can’t ski, too broke
January 15, 2025By: Yasmin Hassan, Staff Writer So, uh, I’ve been invited to go skiing. Skiing? In this economy? Right, right, I forgot that not everyone has to choose between ski boots or textbooks every time the temperature drops and it snows…
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Horoscopes January 13–19
January 13, 2025By: Phone Min Thant, Staff Writer Aries March 21–April 19 This week, you will wake up all motivated to go to the one required lower division course you have ignored for two whole years. Then, as you wash your face,…
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Horoscopes January 6–12
January 9, 2025By: C Icart, Humour Editor Aries March 21–April 19 I was gossiping with the stars about you, and they said that you’re stubborn, so you’ll probably think you’re invincible all year. Close your damn incognito Google flights tab. The Boeings…
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