SFU student updates: Happy birthday!

Something ghostly is in the air . . .

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Graphic that reads “Student updates.”
ILLUSTRATION: Courtesy of The Peak

By: Sarah Sorochuk, SFU Student

You’ve spoken, and we’ve listened!

Problematic professors?
Well, we have a solution! Put them on trial! Legal studies are always looking for a case study. So, it’s the best of both worlds: help yourself and others. You get to argue with a professor without consequences, and legal studies students get to participate in a mock trial. Abolishing group projects is a potential topic. Talking to people on a normal day can be hard, but talking and working with people when forced together is the absolute worst. 

Campus seems too dark and gloomy all the time?
Just because we specialize in Haunted Health Sciences, Spooky Statistics, and Creepy Criminology doesn’t mean there isn’t any room for brightness! Add some colour to the Burnaby campus; it could use a glow-up. Too much gray, very monotone. The autumn season is supposed to be filled with vibrant oranges, reds, and yellows. Yet our school looks like a grumpy house on Halloween with no colour, no lights, no nothing. It’s giving seasonal depression. Let’s add some spark! Some pizazz! Graffiti is a bad idea, but flyers could work. Add life to campus by covering the walls with posters! Motivational posters, funny posters, or even nonsense! Make it fun! Maybe even play some tunes around convocation mall or mezzanine. As the ghosts, ghouls, and spirits begin to roam, lighten up campus with some seasonal cheer by playing “Monster Mash.”

Announcements:

Happy belated birthday to all of our September babies!
Did no one remember your birthday? Or did you have to post a birthday story on Instagram to get people to message you? To all of you, with and without people to wish you well on your special day, I wish you a happy birthday! You are sadly closer to the end. I relate to that as a person — sorry institution — who also just aged. And to those who haven’t had a birthday recently . . . Nothing for you!

Pumpkin spice latte season is here
#PSL here and #PSL there: does no one around have any creativity? Pumpkin and fall flavours are good and all, but come up with a better Insta caption already! #PSL was so 2014. Honestly, pumpkin spice lattes are so overkill. Those who like them are basically screaming, “Oh my gourd, I love fall!” We get it, you like cinnamon and pumpkin, but the flavours added to coffee just feels out of place. Don’t get me wrong, fall flavours are great! Just not for coffee. Now! What did the pumpkin say after a cozy fall dinner? Answer at the bottom.

November U-Pass time is now closed
It’s mid-October, and with that you might still need to request your November U-Pass. But bad news friends, you have missed the window. In case you missed the email, U-Pass has changed its policies! As of October 1, you must request them all at once for the next year at an undisclosed date. The expectation is that you keep refreshing the website until you get lucky. So, no November U-Pass for all you email ignorers. You snooze, you lose, and we keep your money.
Oh you made it to the end! Congrats! I’m proud of you! Answer: “Good-pie!”

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