Ariel Mitchell
Rejected plot pitches for the upcoming Jurassic Park movie
January 5, 2015After spending the last decade in development hell, the fourth installment of the Jurassic Park franchise is ready to be extracted from amber and resurrected in theatres June this year. While some of the earlier scripts contained hilariously bad plots — including one draft about dinosaurs who could use military weapons — these were nothing compared to the ones Universal Studios tried to bury. For the first time ever, here are four abandoned plot pitches once considered for Jurassic Park 4. 1) Homo sapiens Park: Set in the year 120,000 AD, the world’s first human theme park is about to…
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Great Pacific garbage patch discovered to be primarily stuff you’ve lost over the years
October 6, 2014A study released by the United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP) has revealed what some environmentalists had already feared most: up to 90 per cent of the Great Pacific garbage patch is comprised of crap you’ve continued to lose or misplace…
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What Your Graduation Cap Says About You . . .
June 10, 2013Classic Square Academic Hat You graduated from either a university or high school and now have the minimum requirement to get some terrible job. Classic Square Academic Hat Made Out of Construction Paper You either just graduated from kindergarten…
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Paying for it
May 27, 2013Is crowdfunding the way of the future? By Rachel Braeuer Photos by Ariel Mitchell If there’s a tape of a shady politician smoking crack, I want to see it. As a writing plebe, when people like Rob Ford try to…
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The urge to purge: dealing with bulimia nervosa
March 18, 2013By Alanna Fairey Illustrated by Ariel Mitchell When she was 15 years old, Darcy Hale made herself throw up for the first time in her family washroom. At the time, Hale’s parents were going through a divorce and it was…
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