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Five things to get you in the mood for fall

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Movie: The Nightmare Before Christmas

OK, I know some of you are going to instantly go “That is a holiday movie and has no place in September,” but it is my favourite fall movie. It has fun songs, Tim Burton’s signature style, and it also makes me long for the crisp fall winds that promise pumpkin carving, discount Halloween candy, and the eventual end to the hell that is midterms.

Drinks: Starbucks caramel apple spice and whiskey cocktails

Think of this as a day drink and night drink kind of pairing. Starbucks during the day and cocktails at night. I know PSL is the iconic fall drink from Starbucks, but caramel apple spice is just better. It might not have caffeine, but it tastes like fall is gving you a big old comforting embrace. And whiskey cocktails are just a no-brainer after the overly fruity and sickly sweet cocktails of summer. It’s nice to have a more complex and robust drink while you’re sitting by a fire.

Food: Anything made with squash or apples

I know this is vague, and isn’t really one food item or a place to get food, but hear me out. We live where we can get local squash and apples and there is nothing as rewarding as celebrating local produce. It generally tastes better because it was harvested when it was ready, and both squash and apples are their best when they’re in season. So go wild and make pies, soups, roasts, and anything else your heart tells you to.

Music: Spotify’s infinite indie folk playlist

Following a summer filled with road trips, parties, beach days, and patio brunches, you just want to find a new level of chill to match the one in the air. This playlist is perfect for that: it isn’t as moody as a winter playlist, but isn’t so upbeat that you’ll want to go to the beach every day, either. It has a mix of upbeat and downtempo songs so you’ll be able to find something to match your mood and, at a runtime of almost 22 hours, it can be the soundtrack of your entire fall.

TV: Midsomer Murders

This is a long-running (17 seasons are on Netflix) British crime drama that begs you to cocoon up in a blanket with a massive mug of tea and watch as Inspector Barnaby solves a series of complex and confusing homicides. Its strength is in the fact that it isn’t an Americanized crime drama, it still maintains its unique Britishness, and it proves to have enough twists and turns that you don’t care about the almost two-hour runtime per episode. It is also one of those shows where you can leave off and pick up anywhere, making for perfect fall viewing.

ALBUM REVIEWS

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By: Max James Hill, Courtney Miller, and Jessica Whitesel

We Are the Halluci Nation by A Tribe Called Red

A Tribe Called Red is impossible to ignore. Having steadily gained popularity since its inception in 2007, the band’s latest is its best yet: a visceral and endlessly inventive mix of hip-hop, electronica, and traditional First Nations singing and drumming.

But what elevates We Are the Halluci Nation from being a great album to an essential one is neither its virtuosic experiments with sound, nor its impressive guest appearances — notably from Yasiin Bey (formerly Mos Def) and throat singer Tanya Tagaq. Rather, the album’s greatest strength is its political immediacy: We Are the Halluci Nation is to the First Nations experience in Canada what To Pimp a Butterfly is to the black experience in the United States.

Deftly unpacking the lingering effects of colonialism and the ongoing erasure of First Nations communities across the country, We Are the Halluci Nation is as illuminating as it is engaging. You can’t afford to miss it. — MJH

They Don’t Know by Jason Aldean

I can’t think of a more aptly titled album than Jason Aldean’s They Don’t Know, because I sure as hell don’t.

His last album, Old Boots, New Dirt, was lacking the country rock sound that took Aldean into the public eye. He’s managed to find some of it again with the title track (“They Don’t Know”) but overall the album is still lacking that harder sound. Ultimately it sounds like any other country artist could have recorded this album.

It’s not that the songs are bad. As far as country music goes, it’s perfectly middle of the road,  but I expected more and I was definitely hoping he’d put the formula he’s been using lately away. Redneck anthems and sultry songs about sex are allowed to evolve. — CM

22, A Million by Bon Iver

Five years after releasing Bon Iver, Bon Iver is back with 22, A Million, an album that goes deeper into the electronic dimension of a sound that had only been hinted at previously.

I feel like it needs to be made clear that this is not an electronic album — it still stays true to the Bon Iver sound that has been cultivated since the days of “Skinny Love.” It is apparent though that Justin Vernon took some sonic inspiration from former collaborators Kanye West and Jay Z when putting this album together. The opening to “715 – CRΣΣKS” and subsequent use of pared down autotune sounds like something off of West’s 808s and Heartbreaks. This is the most electronic track on the album, and even though it is highly produced, it doesn’t feel out of place on the album or in the Bon Iver catalogue.

This album is Bon Iver’s strongest work to date, and even though the band broke up temporarily in 2012, the hiatus didn’t hurt the band. If anything, it made them stronger and more open to musical experimentation. — JW

With any family, there is never A Good Way Out

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Families are messy, and once you are in one you can't really get out. Joey (Carl Kennedy, shown left) in Cara Norrish’s A Good Way Out is proof of this fact.

A Good Way Out, the first solo production of playwright Cara Norrish, tells of the universal struggle with families. In particular, it is the story of Joey, a motorcycle gang member turned straight motorcycle mechanic who operates a clean front for Larry, head of Joey’s former motorcycle gang.

Joey has three families: one where he is a taken for granted grease monkey who’s owed weeks of payments; one where he is the black sheep brother who has turned away from God; and one where he is a father to two kids and an almost-husband to an ex-stripper turned nurse named Carla.

Three mini-sets on stage show the hardships and obstacles that come with each family: the bike shop set is messy, with beer bottles strewn about and people waltzing right in. There’s no privacy in that life. Everyone’s business is everyone’s business, and that’s part of why there’s no escape from gang life. An old van seat bench stands in for Joey and Carla’s home, which speaks to the appearance of stability but also to the underlying impermanence of their situation.

Finally, a sturdy kitchen table and chairs represents the steady and reliable life Joey’s sister Lynette has found, even though it might not be as happy of a life as she’d like.

The writing and acting are brilliant. For a play that runs 105 minutes, it feels like barely an hour because you get so entranced in what’s happening. The dialogue is genuine, and it feels less like you’re watching a performance and more like you’re in an awkward front row seat in someone’s home as you watch their world implode.

Carl Kennedy, who portrays Joey, delivers his performance so convincingly that it’s not hard to see why he’s been nominated as Best Actor twice at the Jessie Richardson Theatre Awards.

The performance space is set up in a way that allows the audience to look through the sets at each other, but any seat in the place makes the play feel just as real. The entire cast matched each other in brilliant performances to make that happen. I was not the only one who flinched during painful shouting scenes, or jumped at the raw expressions of anger.

The play is of course built on the foundation of a solid script. Norrish delivers thoughtful insight into faith and, through Joey, questions what role God plays in the life of a gang member. Lynette is generally found on the other side of these conversations, a devout believer who continually offers to pray for her brother’s family and his soul. Norrish calls into question what it means to be family, and what “good enough” could ever actually be.

If you have the time, you won’t regret catching A Good Way Out at the Pacific Theatre. It runs until October 15.

SFU student innovations shine at Clean Technology Expo

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The Ello Intuitive Robotics team show off their latest piece of technology, a "smart" recycling bin.

Despite the highly competitive championship showcase, it was clear from the crowd at the Greater Vancouver Clean Technology Expo and Championship that the competition would have to share the spotlight with a new exhibit: Cleantech on the Plaza, presented by Simon Fraser University.

For this year’s feature exhibition, SFU Innovates teamed up with faculties, groups of SFU students, and alumni to offer a glimpse into the future. In stark contrast to the prototypes and conceptualizations of the championship competitors, Cleantech on the Plaza offered attendees a hands-on experience with some of the latest pieces of clean technology, including test-driving the latest clean energy vehicles.

In addition to rolling out the latest cleantech toys, the SFU Innovates exhibition booths allowed SFU students and alumni to display their latest cleantech innovations. Competitors even had the opportunity to pitch their inventions to potential clients and investors.  

The Cleantech Expo, held on September 28 at Surrey City Hall, featured over 25 innovators presenting products ranging from renewable power sources to “smart” recycling bins, with investors looking to find the next big thing in the world of green technology.

The winner of the championship portion of the event was Stem Shock, which is based out of Victoria. Their winning entry was their “precision herbicide technology,” which will allow farms, cities, and parks to manage weed growth without damaging indigenous species. The 2016 Greater Vancouver Clean Technology Championship was presented to Stem Shock by Surrey Mayor Linda Hepner, along with a $10,000-grant from Vancity Credit Union to further their research.

Participants at the expo found this year to be particularly exciting, with the amount of buzz and number of products being shown.

“The reception today has been incredible,” said Hassan Murad from Ello Intuitive Robotics. “We’ve had businesses come by the booth who already want our product in their offices. Totally beyond anything we expected.”

The Ello Intuitive Robotics team was showing off its latest innovation: a “smart” recycling bin which will automatically select the appropriate bin for the item a user is throwing away. They hope the system will become a more efficient replacement for the current sorting bins, such as those on the SFU campus.

As Canada races to become a leader in clean technology, SFU looks to secure its position in this burgeoning sector. Through events like these, Simon Fraser University can hopefully offer students better opportunities to have their inventions seen and to build business.

Point / Counterpoint: Are social media enthusiasts ruining hiking for everyone else?

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No, social media isn’t the problem

By Alannah Wallace

Recently, complaints about crowding on BC trails such as Joffre Lakes and Garibaldi have skyrocketed. Places that were once pristine are now almost impossible to find parking in; full of damaged footbridges and campsites; littered with waste; and generally lacking solitude.

This has lead many avid hikers to claim that social media is ruining hiking in BC. While I sympathize, I think some problem-solving and perspective-shifting can make all the difference.

Platforms like Instagram get a lot of blame. Many hikers opt out of location tagging, to hide their favourite trails from the rest of BC. To these people: I’m sorry that some beautiful places are now crowded, but you have to share. The reality is that they’re not your trails, and there are plenty of others to hike in BC — stop being selfish.

Besides, seeing others on the trail isn’t so bad. Almost everyone I bump into is extremely happy to be there and a pleasure to talk to. Our surroundings motivate people to become more active — isn’t this what we want? If people are trying to get the perfect picture while doing this, who cares? That’s their prerogative.

Sadly, although we’re surrounded by beautiful backcountry, most of our population will never experience this. There’s no better way to rejuvenate from our “overworked” Western culture than walking through the mountains for 48 hours, or waking up to an eyeful of stars. So to anyone who wants to join, welcome! But please, do your part.

The real problem is increasing trail damage, pollution, and safety concerns. People litter trails with banana peels, apple cores, and even toilet paper. Not only is this an unpleasant view, but it’s harmful to the local flora and fauna. It’s also common to see people completely unprepared for the elevation gain, trail conditions, and overnight backpacking — which sometimes leads to injuries, death, and expensive rescue missions.

With guidance and education, we can reduce these problems. For example, many people just aren’t aware that although fruit peels are biodegradable, they can take years to fully degrade, leaving a mess for quite some time. Also, leaving food waste in the trailhead garbage can produces methane gas that is harmful to the atmosphere. Bring your food waste home and compost it; compost facilities use heat to degrade these products faster.

If you see someone on the trail making mistakes like these, kindly inform them of the consequences of their actions. Too often, I either see no one addressing these issues, or the opposite: people being extremely mean to others, which just makes the targets defensive and non-compliant.

So instead of grumbling to your other hiker friends about the Instagrammers on the trails, or bullying the casual hikers tagging locations and writing articles, do something that’s actually helpful, while acknowledging that everyone has the right to enjoy the immense beauty that BC has to offer.

Yes, it’s irritating and unhealthy

By Kendra Nelson

Picture waking up at the first sign of sunrise and preparing for a day of hiking in the beautiful mountains of super, natural British Columbia. After keeping a steady pace on a gruelling incline, you reach the summit. Ahhhhhhh, you think, 360 degrees of breathtaking nature — until you hear, “Now get me in a shot over here! Make sure my butt’s in it!”

It was only a matter of time before the issue of social media etiquette and hiking clashed. While many will defend social media to the death, there are plenty of reasons to leave the phone at home (or at least in your pocket) when going on a hike.

We live in a constant state of worrying about the future. Tests, assignments, grades, finances, relationships — you name it, we worry about it. Staying connected to your social media accounts, full of updates and pressures to keep up with everyone’s lives, can be exhausting. Leaving behind your “information box” lets you breathe, and breathing leads to living in the moment.

Being in nature has been scientifically proven to reduce depression, anxiety, and stress. In his books, The Nature Principle and Last Child in the Woods, journalist Richard Louv refers to the development of a phenomenon he calls “nature-deficit disorder.”

He uses this term to describe behavioural issues present in children who spend excessive time indoors — a direct result of living in a high-tech society. Despite criticism from the medical community drawn by this informal title, the point remains that bringing your phone to the very place you go to escape that high-tech world is counterproductive.

Most hikers know that a sort of “hiking etiquette” exists. “Leave no trace,” “take nothing with you,” and “hike quietly” are among the rules. Many avid hikers have added “no cell phones” to the list.

I had a personal experience where a young girl had her phone blaring obnoxious autotuned rap as loud as possible. People don’t want to hear that shit on a bus, let alone a mountain. If you’re worried about bears, a regular speaking volume is often more than enough to scare off those timid creatures, even before you realize they were there.

Lastly, while I can’t refute that mountain pictures are beautiful, having every possible angle posted on Instagram ruins the surprise. The end goal of a hike is to view this beauty in person, and it’s even more rewarding when you haven’t seen it before.

Focus on the time spent with your hiking partner or, if solo, the sounds of nature, the smells, and the view you won’t get every day. Instead of aiming for the pristine mountaintop photo of you in your skintight yoga pants, why not work on making your health pristine instead? Make this moment selfishly yours. There’s no need to share.

FOOD FIGHT: Neverland Tea Salon is tea-rrific

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Bone china, unique teas, and pastries bring an air of whimsy to Kitsilano's Neverland Tea Salon.

Walking into Neverland Tea Salon in Kitsilano is like walking into a storybook. With fine bone china hanging from the ceiling and whimsical-looking furniture, you are instantly transported to Neverland. The entire atmosphere is very prim and proper, and if this what being a grandmother is like, I could be one.

The Neverland Grande High Tea is the best bang for your buck, and won’t leave you as broke as some other high tea places. It consists of five savoury courses, four sweet courses, a choice between a sweet or savoury scone, and unlimited tea for only $32 a person. A splurge, but a worth-it kind of splurge.

The savoury courses were fancied up versions of your favourite classic sandwiches, like egg salad or grilled cheese. My personal favourite was the croissant, which had pesto, mushroom paté, and a beautiful, thick slice of brie cheese.

I didn’t care much for the chicken salad, which was basically like your jeans-wearing cousin showing up to your formal Christmas party, or the grilled cheese with the Dijon mustard (because really, who wants a green-coloured grilled cheese sandwich?).

All the sweet courses were on point, with my personal favourite being the pumpkin-chocolate swirl cheesecake. I might be basic, but that cake was amazing. I also chose a sweet scone that had lemon zest and sugar, accompanied with Devonshire cream and strawberry jam. It was the best scone I have ever had, with just the right amount of crunch on the outside, and a soft and flaky inside that wasn’t dry like most other scones. Because of this, scones have levelled up from cardboard substitute to edible carbs.

But the main attraction was definitely their tea selection. Regardless of what tea you love, there is something for you. The great thing about Neverland is that you aren’t restricted to one tea: your unlimited tea can change each time you run out. For an adventurer like me, I tried three different teas: lavender earl grey, Mumbai chai, and vanilla ice cream. My favourite was the lavender earl grey, which has now become one of the new basic flavour combinations. Just one sip of this and you are wrapped up in a blanket of lavender.

The service was incredible and the servers are really friendly and knowledgeable about the various teas, the blends of flavours, and what goes well with what items if you choose to order à la carte. If you’re feeling like something small, you can go for the demi-tea. If you’re feeling really grown up, you can add $8 to the Grande High Tea and get a glass of prosecco or a mimosa to go with all of the perks of the tea.

The next time you’re in Kits, do yourself a solid and fly over to Neverland. One final tip: in the Vancouver Entertainment Coupon book (a book that is usually sold in local schools for fundraising), there is a coupon for buy one high tea, get one free. It really makes it worth your while, and just makes everything that much more delicious!

The royal visit will inspire people to make their communities better

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I’m the most British Canadian you will ever meet, so the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge visiting my city is like if the Canucks had actually won the Stanley Cup in 2011: hella awesome.

It’s hard to explain why the royals are such a big deal to the English; all I can tell you is that I’ve been obsessed with them from a very young age, thanks to my grandparents. My Bumma and Grandad gave me my first plate of fish ‘n’ chips, first cup of tea, and first look at the royal family.

At this point, anyone with British relatives knows what I’m talking about, but there’s an even more personal reason for how I feel about Will and Kate: my grandmother used to work for the Queen’s cousin, Louis Mountbatten. Let’s just say that when your grandmother has helped write Christmas cards to the monarchy, you kind of give a shit about them.

Now that I’ve alienated every non-British person out there, let’s get down to why the royal visit is actually important.

Because of my family history, it may appear that I have rose-coloured glasses on when it comes to the royals, which is true to a point. I’m also a political science major who can recognize a political figurehead when I see one.

In this day and age, the British monarchy has very little control over how the country is run — and looking at some of the decisions they’ve made in the past, that’s probably a good thing. What power they do possess is purely their celebrity.

Yet it’s this star power that allows them to effect change. Royals can use their positions in society to draw attention to social issues, charities, and initiatives that desperately need public attention — which the late Princess Diana was well-known for.

Now, her son Will is continuing on by visiting at-risk communities with his family. The Vancouver Sun reported that the Duke and Duchess would be visiting a charity that works with mothers-to-be who struggle with substance abuse, right in the heart of the Downtown Eastside.

Let me say that again: members of the royal family are going to visit the most impoverished area in Vancouver.

In addition, they’ll be visiting First Nations communities, an active refugee office, and even visiting the Vancouver coast guard base in Kitsilano that was closed between 2013–16. These actions highlight issues that aren’t always prioritized by Canadians, but are still extremely important in ensuring quality of life for citizens — especially the disadvantaged members of our population.

A global spotlight follows the young couple, and they choose to go where their presence may help change the lives of those less fortunate. Though I highly doubt they’ll do much charity work themselves, their visit can — and most likely will — inspire others to donate time or money to help members of the community.

Despite the benefits of the royals touring British Columbia, I can understand where skeptics are coming from. The pomp and ceremony I find delightful can be frustrating for the people that live in these areas, not to mention the price tag associated with the visit.

All I can say to those people is that Will and Kate will be gone soon enough, and things will go back to normal. As far as the money goes, we paid Stephen Harper’s salary as prime minister for nine years — putting up the royals for a few days isn’t the worst financial decision our country’s ever made.

The story my teeth tell is one of anxiety

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I’m writing this, having just gotten my second gum graft in three years. For those who are blissfully unaware, a gum graft is a gross, grossly painful thing you get when your gums decide to GTFO. My gums are checking out because I grind my teeth. I grind my teeth because I’m an anxious person.

I don’t talk about anxiety a lot. Partly because I know my experiences have been nowhere near as difficult as many others’. Partly because anxiety and depression are rooted in my family tree, so my nerves have always just seemed . . . normal.

I say normal, not to suggest that anyone’s anxiety is “abnormal,” but to say that I’ve never questioned my reactions to stress because I see so many people in my family having similar reactions.

Most of my aunts, uncles, and cousins — as well as my mother and brother — deal with anxiety and/or depression in some form or another. We all have brains that pace back and forth over concerns, whether that worry’s warranted or not. At family reunions, we pull out examples of our obsessive natures, comparing and marvelling at how similar we are.

 

It’s been embedded in me from a young age. I remember spending sleepless nights as a child, planning out my escape plan if my home should suddenly burst into flames. My parents eventually bought me a fire escape ladder to calm those nerves. I feel stressed when I’m running late, when I make mistakes, and in a plethora of social situations. Even if there’s genuinely nothing to worry about, I will find something to worry about.

I express my worry physically, picking at my cuticles until they’re pink and raw and sore. That gum graft I just got? Another stress expression. My teeth have only been saved from my grinding by the grace of my night mouth guard. I got my first gum graft when I was 19 years old — something my dentist said was not exactly normal.

I keep ignoring those pangs of anxiety, even though I know it won’t do me any favours in the long run. Logically, I know that if you need help with something you should get help, but the thought of meditation or therapy is itself nerve-wracking. So instead, I brush off my propensity for worry, and get gum grafts to treat the symptom rather than the source.

These fallouts from stress will just keep happening though. If my family history is anything to go by, it’s not something that just disappears. There’s only so much real estate in my mouth that can conceivably require gum grafts; but there are plenty of other physical, mental, and emotional ways that stress and anxiety can take a toll.

My mom went on long-term disability from work as a result of her anxiety and depression. That served as a wake-up call — one that I have not heeded, but should.

If you need help, you deserve help. It’s not an easy or comfortable prospect, but the people I’ve spoken with have found help that works for them through trial and error. I’m a hypocrite, because I still haven’t done more than download an app for stress. I’m slow to recognize that I can’t keep ignoring my nerves; but recognition is the first step, and it’s one worth taking.

The official Peak Transit survival guide

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By: Vincent Justin Mitra, Peak Associate

Where will you be when the world ends? Will you be in the library, cramming for that test? Will you be using your last Poké Ball to catch that Dratini in the AQ reflecting pool? Will you be knocking back beers at the Highland Pub? Chances are, you’ll be on a TransLink bus as it scrambles up or down the mountain. The drivers are trained to stick to their route and keep the busses moving indefinitely, but what will you, the discerning SFU student, do in such a situation?

Lucky for you, dear reader, you have in your hands the official* Peak Transit Survival Guide which will teach you how to lead a fast-paced and prosperous life within your new mobile fortress.

Zombie horde? Alien invasion? Trump presidency? Dolphin uprising? Girl Scout insurgency? This handy guide will teach you to survive on TransLink through whatever hellscape that will inevitably follow.

 

  1. Do not remove your backpack or bag.

    A backpack is a perfect defence from unexpected attacks from behind; it’s filled with dense and expensive textbooks. Feeling claustrophobic? Swing it around without warning. That’ll clear some space! Wear it on your front and use it as a battering ram for times you really need to push through the crowds. 

     

  2. Stock up on supplies. 

    Pencils, textbooks, food and water to last a month, bedroll, life jacket, gas can, notepads. Bring everything you might need and leave nothing behind. Place these on nearby seats for quick access, or in front of the doors for a quick getaway. 

  3. Collect lost Apple AirPod Bluetooth headphones. 

    These are the new currency. 

  4. Ignore your personal hygiene. 

    Body odour is the best deterrent against potential threats. To supplement your aroma, soak yourself in the gore of the fallen and roll around before boarding the bus. And, although buses don’t have bathrooms, they do have windows! 

  5. Modify the bus to suit your needs. 

    The handrails make excellent spears once disassembled and sharpened. Feeling chilly? Cut open a seat cushion for warmth! If the bus needs an added speed boost, enlist someone to spit gasoline into the engine. 

  6. Hide your transit pass or Compass Card in a different pocket each time. 

    If you can’t find it, neither can pickpockets or looters. Sharpen the edges and use it to slice at anyone who sits near you. 

     

  7. Claim as much space as possible. 

    Block off the rear area of the bus; this area now belongs to you. If someone wants to sit in your territory, charge them! Feel the rush of capitalism course through your veins. 

  8. Assert dominance by knocking things out of the hands of fellow passengers. 

    Books, phones, food; a hand that is holding something is a useless hand as well as a distraction from potential threats such as yourself. Remain vigilant. 

     

  9. Block the doorways. 

    For a quick escape, stand near either of the entry or exit doors. Do not allow others to leave before you, or it will be seen as a sign of weakness. To reassert dominance, simply vomit onto your target. 

  10. Be actively hostile to those with infants and young children. 

    The young have no place in the new world. Only the strong survive. 

    * Not an official guide.

Five reasons why you should free your titties

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Ah, behold the long-revered human body parts: the breasts. With their supple curves and eye-popping areolae, they have made many gasp with delight throughout the ages. Here are five reasons why they should be out in their splendid glory.

 

  1. Bras are basically boob prisons.

    Don’t give me any of this “You need a bra for support” bullshit. There is a metal wire under my boobs and it’s just annoying AF, OK? There are also days when that metal wire unleashes its poking wrath upon my titties and my entire day goes to hell which is exactly where bras should burn and rot. It’s where they belong.


  2. They need to do the jiggly wiggly.

    Boobs jiggle, and they need to be free to jiggle whenever they damn well please. If the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms includes mobility rights, those rights should apply to my boobs.

  3. Boobs are beautiful works of art.

    Who wants to look at a corporate, manufactured Victoria’s Secret piece of lingerie when the parts that it will be covering up are the real stars of the show? They are the original Victoria’s Secret angels, excuse you, and they will be having a fashion show of their own.

  4. Nipples want to say hello sometimes.

    If there was a body part equivalent of a sad child wearing a dunce cap sitting in a corner, it would be the nipples. Why did we create undergarments that hide them away and create an illusion of a perfectly smooth boob? I, for one, think that nipples need to have their moment in the spotlight — pointy peaks out of shirts and all.

  5. They aren’t sexual objects.

    *feminist mic drop*