Written by Alexander Kenny, Peak Associate

I’m not muscular. Hell, I can’t even check off the “physically toned” box. I’m not incredibly assertive or aggressive. I’m usually pretty quiet, I avoid confrontation, and I show a lot of emotion. I’m not even six feet tall; in fact, I’m only 5’10” on a good day. OK, I’m sure you get it: I’m not exactly much of a stereotypically masculine man.

After a few years of trying to pretend to be one, I’ve drilled it into my dense head that it just isn’t who I am. Through watching my similarly atypical masculine friends try and hide their “irregularity” from other guys, I have become quite familiar with the self-doubt that can come with masculinity that doesn’t check all of the right boxes.

If you do happen to be masculine in all the ways the world already recognizes, there’s nothing wrong with that. However, I draw a line where I see us guys policing ourselves, and each other, into prioritizing “acting masculine” over being true to our own identities or preserving our own physical and mental health.

This self-doubt and self-persecution isn’t just damaging to the individual and their self-confidence. It’s damaging to the prospects of finding and maintaining a healthy romantic relationship.

The first question guys ask whenever they’ve heard that I’ve just entered a relationship can go one of two ways. Sometimes, people congratulate me and ask if the girl I’m seeing makes me happy — which is great! Sometimes, people ask, “Anyway, how is your sex life?” How about you get lost?

No, I don’t wish to tell everyone about my sex life — especially not you. No, I won’t allow the presence or absence of sex to be the benchmark for how happy or successful my relationship is. No, I definitely won’t tell you how big her breasts are; that’s just creepy! Could you be asking questions that get any more shallow or one-dimensional? Do you have a quota to reach?

Speaking of saying the wrong thing, when I’ve finally confessed to friends that I have struggled — at one time or another — with feeling down or anxious, the last response that should have come was, “I was like that once, I just got over it. Just get over it.” Yet that’s the response I got, and underlying it was the reminder that doubled as the really intended response: “You’re breaking the rules. Such emotion isn’t allowed. Now have another beer and shut up.”

This is a good example of how men condition each other when it comes to emotional matters. Expressing yourself supposedly means you aren’t “man” enough, and that supposedly means romantic partners won’t want you.

Well, my past relationships will call this theory utter malarkey, and deeply unhealthy. If anything, in at least one of those relationships, bottling up how I felt just frustrated my girlfriend, because it made her feel like I wasn’t comfortable talking to her. This led to arguments, when I could have instead just been myself and been open about what I was feeling. I know she loved that a lot more.

If my relationships have taught me anything, it is that regardless of how you display masculinity, someone will love you. Some people love the highly assertive, muscular guy who’s great at parties and likes his drinks. Some people love the openly affectionate guy who gets passionate about his nerdy hobbies and likes to get emotionally intimate. Neither of those is good or bad, and they aren’t even mutually exclusive.

A 2015 Men’s Health survey and a survey in 2013 by USA Today researched what single women said they were looking for in a guy. Both surveys showed the importance of the ability to be warm, caring, emotionally open, passionate — not just romantically, but in general — trustworthy, respectful, and funny. Of course, two surveys can’t possibly claim to speak for all women ever; nonetheless, this does highlight how many of the qualities men often discourage each other from showing are actually highly desirable.

I’m no expert, but I can definitely attest to the fact that there is someone for everyone. Attempting to conform to what some guys straight out of Central Casting attempt to police you in doing, while you police yourself like you’re in the world’s largest masculinity panopticon, will just make you unhappy.

Keep being yourself, and sooner or later you will find a fantastic romantic relationship. You just do you, bro.

Written by Kaylene Amundson, SFU Student

“Shotgun!” my brothers and I would shout while running out the door. With sleeping bags, a tent, and much more snuggled up close in the trunk of the van, my family was heading off for our annual trip to the Rockies.

Along with many other Canadians, we treasure these natural getaways, and return to them regularly. We are incredibly privileged to have a backyard filled with pristine lakes, towering mountains, and awe-inspiring ocean views. But with privilege comes responsibility and accountability.

After the Canada 150 celebrations, our national parks witnessed a notable increase in attendance from local and international visitors last year. This was great publicity, but it also led to larger crowds and congested highways. A heightened level of tourists means a heightened level of environmental impact on the parks, so it’s imperative that we work together as a glocal community to continue to keep our parks clean and wild.

Many parks have extensive regulations in place to maintain quality. As a past employee at one of the frequented mountain parks, I’d say that visitors need to do a better job at meeting them halfway.

Entering a park should be similar to entering a foreign city; you are automatically subjected to the laws of that jurisdiction, and you are held responsible for understanding the policies. So why does it seem like people throw the rulebook out of the window once they arrive in a natural park?

A main attraction for many people is the potential to witness nature in action. Visitors anxiously keep their eyes peeled on the side of the road for any sign of substantial life. Unfortunately, the overwhelming desire for wild animal interactions is getting out of hand.

In Waterton, people are explicitly told to respect the resident deer from a distance, yet they treat the town like it’s their personal petting zoo. In Banff and Jasper, there are constant pleas to keep campsites clean — pleas which tend to go ignored — as well as frequent traffic jams from drivers abandoning their cars for a glimpse of a bear. These careless actions are detrimental to the animals.

Regardless of the number of wildlife safety pamphlets, educational programming, and word of mouth cautions, some people seem to blatantly disregard them by petting the deer or leaving their coolers outside to feed the animals. With this acclimatization of wild animal-human interactions, animals can become conditioned to rely on human food and/or to become aggressive; this often results in post-incident measures being taken, such as relocation, hazing, or euthanization.

Some feel that approaching a bear or feeding critters for Instagram’s sake may not be a big deal. The problem is that you have thousands of visitors thinking the same thing, and then these animals become dependent on visitors’ assumed generosity. With more traffic in the parks we have to not only take care of our own actions, but also keep others accountable.

It’s the same for the environment. Two known rules that frequent backcountry visitors obey are leave no trace behind and leave the facilities better than how you found it. These need to be universal expectations. Don’t let somebody’s moment of laziness become a contributor to natural degeneration.

We shouldn’t have to limit park access; exposure to nature and travel are beneficial to individuals and communities. However, the cost of these benefits shouldn’t be a price that the environment can’t afford. We need to encourage people to enjoy it while simultaneously communicating the need for respect. After all, it’s not just us on this earth; it’s a public area for all to enjoy.

The regulations are all in place for a reason, so please respect them. Keep others accountable because conserving nature is a communal effort. If you see somebody approaching animals or leaving garbage lying around, do something about it rather than standing idly by. As we have witnessed with other recent movements, taking an anti-bystander role is imperative with making tangible change in collective behaviour. We can’t afford to be ignorant and oblivious to the consequences of our actions anymore.

Whether you prefer an all-inclusive package or roughing it up in the backcountry, be a responsible visitor to the area. When you begin trip planning for 2018, conduct extra research for resources to avoid any extraneous cost to the park. Keep fellow visitors accountable so the next generation of families can enjoy our backyard, too.