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SFU shares their love stories and Tinder nightmares

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Image courtesy of RTÉ.ie

By: Juztin Bello, Marco Ovies, Paige Riding, Naomi Torres

Alright, I’m not proud of this. One of the first times I met a Tinder guy in person was when I was partying at a frat house at UBC. Gross, I know. This guy and I had been talking for maybe less than a week; definitely not in the realm of something serious, but this was someone who I had at least more than one conversation with. While I was at this frat, he asked me to come over. He messaged me his phone number so that I could call him if I got lost on my walk over to his.

I should also mention it was Halloween and that I was dressed as a Harlem Globetrotter. I don’t know why that’s important, but it just is. Because it was Halloween and because I’m (sometimes) a mess I was, for lack of a better word, pretty blackout.  

Look, I’ve heard about “stranger danger” before — I’ve seen more than enough PSAs in my time. But when I tell you I disobeyed every possible stranger danger-rule in this exact moment, you’ll be shocked. Not only was I meeting up with a stranger on the internet (strike one), I was intoxicated (strike two), and literally texted him “I’m so drunk and stupid right now haha” (STRIKE THREE).

 Eventually, I got to his place (after he found me wandering the street) and we “got to know each other better” — If you catch my drift. Now, this is back in first year when I had barely any experience with men, as I had only come out a few months prior. To say I was unprepared and super awkward is an understatement.

 After maybe an hour, I realized my phone was going off since I apparently failed to tell any of my friends that I was leaving. That’s strike four. Trust me, I’m disappointed in baby-gay me too. On my way out he gave me a carton of coconut water. Why? I don’t know. 

 Flash forward to the next morning and this guy texts me “good morning beautiful :).” And what did I proceed to do? I blocked his number. The worst part? He was literally telling me when we were together how he hates people who just use Tinder for hooking up.

 Plot twist: I was the Tinder nightmare.  — JB 

I was pretty new to the whole dating scene when I eventually joined Tinder, so I was definitely nervous when I had not only started talking to this girl, but agreed to meet with her in person. We agreed to meet before her shift at work for a quick brunch, and she had recommended a place to eat (which was fine by me, I did not need that added pressure of choosing a location). The day finally came and we met up at the SkyTrain station. 

On the way to the restaurant, we started with some small talk, y’know, nothing super groundbreaking. She told me she was taking a minor in film so naturally the conversation turned to some of the latest movies. Now this was around the time that Dunkirk had just come out and I had asked her if she had seen it. 

“No, I haven’t,” she said. “What is it about?”

“It’s about . . . the Battle of Dunkirk?” I answered.

“Okay, and what’s the Battle of Dunkirk?”

For the rest of the date, my stupid brain decided to make fun of her for not knowing what the Battle of Dunkirk was. For whatever reason I thought 1. this was common knowledge and 2. that it was a good idea to make fun of this insanely pretty girl that I definitely wanted to see again. 

Why she decided to stay after that was beyond me, but eventually, we got close to the restaurant. Well, that is what she said, of course, but all I saw were the two sex shops right between it. 

I could feel the perspiration starting to form in my pits. I knew Tinder was meant to be a hookup app, but this was very forward. How could she be taking me to a sex shop on our first date? I probably made fun of her some more about Dunkirk from how nervous I was, because why wouldn’t I? 

Eventually, we did make it inside, and honestly, the breakfast was pretty meh. The conversation, however, was pretty great, and I ended up having a really good time. Once I had calmed down and gotten some toast in my stomach, I felt way more comfortable. It was one of those instances where you feel like you have known the person for a long time and the time flew by. 

We left the restaurant and I decided to walk her to work since I am such a gentleman. But now the pressure was on: what did I do when we said bye? It was only the first date so should I kiss her? No, that’s too forward, should I go for the handshake? No that’s way too formal, maybe a fist bump? 

Right around the time I had decided that the high-five-turned-into-the-turkey thing was the best to say bye, she hugged me and started to walk into her work. I waved goodbye and this goof ran back and high fived me because she thought I was asking for one. I stood kind of confused because I definitely did not ask for a high five as she walked into the doors of work. 

I texted her asking when we could hang out again almost five minutes we had said goodbye. Over two years later and we are still together. Not sure how I pulled that one off, but I’m not going to jinx it. — MO

I met a guy at the start of this school year on Tinder. After a few weeks of meme exchanges and backhand flirting influenced heavily by internet references, we agreed to meet in person for sushi.

The beginning of the relationship was genuinely enjoyable. We explored Stanley Park together, we talked and walked around downtown for hours, and the first kiss was like a spinoff of The Great Gatsby — we went to a Halloween party in a high-end downtown apartment and as we were walking through the crowd, a spotlight formed from the party lights and we took advantage of it. Swoon.

Then the red flags started popping up.

I shouldn’t hold this against him, but it was really hard to look past. He was poor. And by poor, I mean he was thousands of dollars in debt from film school student loans. Now, before you denounce me as a superficial asshole, let me preface that this wasn’t the problem for me. What pissed me off was his lack of effort to change his situation. Through working a minimum wage job, having extremely restricted hours for availability, and no drive to consider another place of work, he seemed overly complacent in what was causing him distress.

While he was behind me at the cashier, holding my waist in the “thanks for getting this, babe” way — which happened at least 33 times — I was getting a bit resentful. What’s even worse than financial unavailability is emotional unavailability. And that’s just what he had.

If he was having a bad day, we would have a bad day. I’m talking about him cooping himself in his bed, not responding to any messages the whole day, not eating, nothing. Without communication, a relationship has nothing. I think a simple “I’m not having a good day” or something could stop me from wondering if he was alive while I’m stuck up on this mountain for school. Also it would help me to help him. But that didn’t happen.

So, I broke it off. Well, I tried to. Boy did not take a hint. You would think that grabbing all my belongings from his home (except that necklace I forgot . . . I still don’t have that back) and telling him I did not want to talk to him would be enough. Nah. It was multiple manipulative “hey, I know you don’t walk to talk to me, BUT . . . ” texts and messages a day. When I need space, I need space. He did not acknowledge or accept this.

I conclude my tale with some of the oh-so-cringy passive aggressive attempts this boy made to get me back. Almost right after I ended it, I went out with my friends to a really cool club night playing emo music. Despite my vocalizing that I wanted nothing to do with him that night, he sends the message:

“Hey, my friend invited me to this event, would you mind if I came?” Bruh. What can I say to that?

Needless to say, if I lost a centimetre of height for each passive-aggressive tweet that proceeded in the fallout of this, I finally wouldn’t be taller than him. Did I mention this only occurred over two months? —  PR

Fresh out of a long-term relationship, I knew I had to do something to fill this empty void. After a long period of sadness, loneliness, and a lot of work devoted to improving myself, I was ready to get back in the dating game. 

And personally, I really only date for marriage. But I said, “fuck it. Let’s just try and expand my taste and find out what I like in men and what I don’t.” 

My thumb swiped left on guys flexed in a dirty gym mirror, had a girl on their profile, or someone who just wanted a rave or drinking buddy. 

I was picky. 

A couple of hours went by and the classic Tinder match chime went off, with ‘Tom.’ 

“Tbh I’m just looking for something casual. Got out of something serious recently so I wanna chill for a bit, hbu?” 

To me, this sounded like a perfect match since I, too, just got something out of serious. 

He soon asked, “Hold up. Are we talking about my place or yours?” 

After a series of panic and confused text messages to my best friends, they explained to me what Tom meant when he said casual — meaning “sex.” 

I was shook. I was in no way ready to lose my virginity with a guy I met on Tinder. 

A failed match only brings another. The Tinder algorithm combined with luck worked its magic and off went another chime. 

‘Leon,’ was the next dating candidate, emerging during my 30-minute lunch break. He blabbered the entire time, ranting away about his failed Tinder experiences with girls who blocked him online. Rather than being attracted to this guy, I just had pity over him. 

Red flag after red flag . . . this was the saddest, shortest, and most unsuccessful date ever. 

Before clocking back in, my thumb hovered over the app, held down on it, and tapped the “x” on the top right corner. 

My Tinder experience was tragically over. 

I still have some hope in me that I can find someone on this campus naturally and have a meet-cute story. Crossed-fingers, knock-on-wood, and wish me luck. — NT

 

Sex Education returns with another season of ground-breaking stories, sex positivity, and much more

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Courtesy of Netflix
Courtesy of Netflix

by Lubaba Mahmud, Staff Writer

Content warning: sexual assault

Netflix’s Sex Education is back with a bang and it doesn’t hesite to come straight for our hearts. The British show’s second season was released on January 17, 2020, and has been the talk of the town ever since. It’s a brilliant medley of romance, endearing friendships, authentic portrayals of mental health struggles, and of course, a wide variety of sexual representation.

To briefly recap, one of the show’s central premises is that the formal sex education at Moordale High is highly inadequate, so students have no experts to rely on for advice. That’s when Otis Milburn (Asa Butterfield) and Maeve Wiley (Emma Mackey) come to the rescue. They open up a secret sex clinic fueled by the second-hand knowledge Otis has gained from his sex therapist mother Dr. Jean Milburn (Gillian Anderson). In a twist of events in season 2, Dr. Milburn starts working on the Moordale sex-ed curriculum and inadvertently threatens Otis’s clinic. While the clinic is a crucial aspect that teaches us a great deal about sex, the show also has a lot more to offer now more than ever. 

Many characters engage in a journey of self-discovery where they not only discover, but embrace their sexual orientations, be it homosexuality, bisexuality, or — drumroll please — asexuality and pansexuality! The latter two are seldom, if ever, celebrated in mainstream media, but Sex Education is here to change the norm.

This season also approaches the topic of sexual assault. It highlights the trauma that Aimee Gibbs (Aimee Lou Wood) faces after a man ejaculates on her leg on a bus. She initially thinks that it’s no big deal, but it inevitably takes a toll on her. When Aimee breaks down and exclaims “I can’t get on the bus,” she and her friends have an intimate conversation about sexual harassment. This scene is not only heartbreaking, but also powerful because it sends the message that there is no “hierarchy of sexual assault,” the idea that some forms of sexual violence are more serious and damaging than others.

Even though the name of the show may suggest otherwise, sex-related content isn’t the only focus for creator and screenwriter Laurie Nunn. There’s an honest portrayal of depression and anxiety through star student-athlete and prefect, Jackson Marchetti (Kedar Williams-Stirling). When he uncovers that his adoptive mother puts pressure on him to perform well in swimming due to her own anxieties about spending time with him and forging a parent-son connection, they are able to begin their path towards healing together. We also see another main character, Eric Effiong (Ncuti Gatwa) continuing his journey to love and self-acceptance, in all his neon-clothed glory, after being bullied for a long time.

It’s safe to say that Nunn does not shy away from difficult topics. Even though there’s a range of storylines, all of them are keenly developed and the character arcs are convincing and pleasing. What’s more, representation of race and the LGBTQ2+ community isn’t just done for the sake of it, it is actually genuine and effortless. This show is not throwing a bone to minorities, they are giving us a thoughtful invitation to the feast. 

Sex Education is a milestone in the portrayal of sex-positivity in shows. It is educating without being preachy, and it is heart-warming without being cloy. This series walks this fine line with utmost grace, so much so that it sets a fantastic precedent for shows that want to tackle sex on screen. We’re not accepting first-timers having flawless sex scenes on TV anymore because that shit just doesn’t happen, and if Sex Education can celebrate and empathize with human flaws and the raw realness of sex, then so should every other show.

Luminesque stuns in heels, glamour, and a healthy dose of femme empowerment

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Arts
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Photo via Instagram
Photo via Instagram

by Kelly Chia, Features Editor

Intrigue and excitement.

Those were the two emotions that dominated my mind as I first entered the doors of Celebrities Nightclub to see Absinthe, Luminesque’s heels performance show. Heels performances are characterized by the fact that each dancer wears heels the entire performance. Dressed in black and green, the performers took their routines through R&B and tango music. But the dancers’ talent wasn’t what made me come back to the venue.

It was their diversity: there were so many performers of different sizes and ethnicities. What really impressed me were the older performers, including many mothers. Each person on that stage was able to embrace their sexuality. Not to mention that these were not pros but instead students part of a heels dance class. 

Over and over, the host reminded the audience to keep their hands to themselves, truly teaching me what it meant to be in a healthy, sex-positive environment. Having never been to a nightclub before, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but I left the show feeling empowered and sexy.

Flash forward and I was back at Celebrities for the second time, and I wanted to see if these feelings would come back. It was a Christmas-themed show named Scrooged, a heels performance that was split into five different eras, with the overarching theme inspired by A Christmas Carol. 

The show follows the main character Ebi, who loses inspiration for her dance show. In an attempt to revitalize her passion, the “ghosts of music’s past” whisks her, and the audience, through cabaret, disco, rock and roll, hip hop, and modern pop. It was a bit cheesy, but it was really wholesome and fun.

Then there was the execution of the show. The venue itself isn’t that large, but the performers took advantage of both the floor and stage to create a dynamic performance. I remember my jaw hanging dumbly as I stared at the dancers on the stage holding the ponytails of the dancers on the stage floor to create a sort of wave effect to Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy.”

Donning garter highs, light-up body harnesses, and glittery bodysuits, these performers deserved the cheers and awe from everyone in the room. They were sexy, and the choreography moved so fluidly that you could hardly tell the difference between the beginner classes and the advanced dancers. This is not to dispute the talent of the dancers, but to highlight how thought-out the choreography was. Everyone hit their cues, and everything looked really clean. My friend and I would later discuss how some of the moves were probably done by advanced dancers amongst the beginners, but in the moment, it really was hard to tell among Luminesque’s talent.

This was probably what made both of us want to join Luminesque for its next show. Actually, the overwhelming feeling of both shows was not its promiscuity, but the warmth that seemed to overflow from its large community. At the end of both Absinthe and Scrooged, Luminesque’s company owner, Vanessa Young, would join the dancers as they did their bows. She would ask how many performers had joined Luminesque for the first time that term. Both times, I saw almost all of them raise their hands, and I was inspired by the amount of people who were trying something new. 

I had wanted to try heels dance for awhile, but going to Absinthe and Scrooged only affirmed my desire to join this community. The one thing I miss about musical theatre in high school (hold for cringe) is the community I would form with my fellow performers. Watching these performances made it evident that this group was very tight-knit; the dancers all looked like they were having a lot of fun, and they were so much fun to watch.

I came into my first show having never been in a nightclub before, holding on to my jacket as a security blanket. I am proud to say that the next time I will be at Celebrities Nightclub, it will be as a Luminesque performer.

So, in a few months, I hope you’ll catch me at Luminesque’s next show, Haute Couture! It takes place at Celebrities Nightclub on March 19, 20, 21, and 26, 27, 28.

CONFESSIONALS: I’m a resume template harlot

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Illustration of a closed envelope, with the text, “Confessionals”
ILLUSTRATION: Marissa Ouyang /The Peak

Written by Dominic Wildebee, SFU Student

I’ve had my back blown out by three different resume templates in the past week.

I know you’re sitting, judging me, prudes of SFU. But my career-bent promiscuity is the norm for those of us who actually work to build futures for ourselves. Better to eat ass than be a bottom-feeder, I say.

I’d been dating my first template since 2015; my high school sweetheart, if you will. For the first year, the hookups were intimate, simply outstanding. My skin was clear. Sweetheart’s font never looked more Times New Roman. I was hired three different times.

Then we didn’t touch one another for four years. 

I found myself looking for new side hustles last March, and I wondered why it wasn’t working out. It might’ve had to do with my tendency to skip out on 90% of the job openings I saw, because they looked boring or the building was too humid or I felt like I was smarter than the manager. But mostly, I blamed Sweetheart, who after these long years no longer knew anything accurate about me or about what I liked. 

In the end, I met Student Oriented Resume Template on a Thursday, as I typed feverishly away on Craigslist.com. I had just been greatly excited to finally hear back from a prospective employer, only to draw back from the precipice as I realized that he was just a Sauder School of Business student running a pizza-fueled multi-level-marketing scheme. I needed a way out of this never-ending job hunt and I needed it now. 

I was desperate to find something, and Student Oriented Resume Template gave me hope, quirky purple accent bars, cute headers, and also some serious head. 

Months later, Student Oriented Resume Template began to bore me, so I moved on to the lascivious advances of Pacific Resume Template, who also bored me, but at least that template sounded pretty. I bounced around for a bit between the siblings, Bold Resume Template and Managerial Resume Template, but that just felt like hollow pleasure, as we all knew I was neither bold nor managerial. 

Today, I woke up nestled between Diamond, Minimo Style, and Enfold. It felt peaceful to wrap my arms and legs around Enfold, the resume template tailored to detailing my years of pointless, soul-absorbing customer service. 

I really am at peace with my resume slatternity, SFU. And as Chronological Classic Resume Format and I discreetly toy with one another instead of paying attention in lecture, I know that someday the jobs my resumes keep doing on me will lead to an actual, paying job — maybe.

UmbraCity launches its service in SFU

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Photo Credits: Gurpreet Kambo

Written by: Lubaba Mahmud, Staff Writer

UmbraCity, an umbrella-sharing service, started operating at SFU as of December 2019. Their  kiosks can be found in West Mall Centre and the Applied Sciences Building at SFU’s Burnaby campus. 

To become a member, users can simply follow the on-screen instructions on the kiosk to register. The borrowed umbrella is free for 24 hours, however students will be charged $3 a day until the umbrella is returned to a station, with the maximum total charge being $30.

Mark McLaughlin, Chief Commercial Services Officer of Ancillary Services, told The Peak via email that the partnership between UmbraCity and SFU initially started as a BUS 361 class project. According to McLaughlin, the student group approached Ancillary Services about setting up the company’s stations across Burnaby. He noted that “the students proposed a business model, helped identify locations, and did some marketing.” 

“We see this simple umbrella-sharing service as an easy way to make life on our campuses a little better for folks on rainy days.” wrote McLaughlin.

The Peak also interviewed Amir Entezari, Founder & CEO of UmbraCity. When asked about the inspiration behind starting this business, he said that he and co-founder Babak Assadsangabi found that there were two main weather-related problems that they were dealing with in Vancouver: not having easy access to umbrellas when they needed one, and the hassle of carrying one around when it wasn’t raining. They were inspired by the bike-share and car-share programs and wanted to try the same model for umbrella-sharing. After UmbraCity’s launch in 2014, they realised that users were happy with the service since they had had the same problems.

Entezari said, “The pilot was really successful and a lot of people started using the service. University administration had received positive feedback. We’re working with them to expand the service in many locations.”

He noted that they are hoping to open 15 locations in total, with 8 of them being at Burnaby campus, and others at the Surrey and downtown campuses. 

“SFU students specifically will receive free 24 hour rental [service]. Everytime they take out an umbrella, they have 24 hours to return it — not only at SFU locations, I but anywhere in lower mainland locations. With the account created through SFU network, students can borrow from other locations at no cost, and they can return it at SFU or anywhere else in the network.”

Entezari also explained that UmbraCity has multiple sustainability initiatives in place. They collaborate with different partners to collect broken umbrellas of any kind to properly recycle them by separating the canvas, plastic, and metal parts of the umbrellas. 

In another program, they work with non-profit organisations to upcycle umbrella canvases to make grocery bags, seat covers, etc. 

“We will be working with SFU administration so we have a designated bin specifically for [this sustainability] program. We will announce that as soon as it’s finalised.” he added.

Talking about the eye-catching yellow colour of the rental umbrellas, he said, “Our vision is to make communities more vibrant. Especially on a gloomy day, having these bright yellow umbrellas change the mood when you have so many of these walking around.”

The Sterling Prize in Support of Controversy looking for nominations

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Photo Courtesy of SFU

Written by: Paige Riding, News Writer

The Sterling Prize in Support of Controversy is looking for nominations until February 15, 2020. This prize may be awarded to any individual in any academic field whose potentially controversial work positively affects Simon Fraser University or academia while meeting certain ethical criteria.

According to SFU’s website, “the Nora and Ted Sterling Prize in Support of Controversy was established at Simon Fraser University in 1993 to honour and encourage work that provokes and/or contributes to the understanding of controversy.”

Associate Director of Communications and Marketing Rosetta Cannata explained in an email to The Peak how a nominee is chosen for the award.

“To win, the work must be more than simply controversial. It should present new ways of looking at the world, be daring and creative, decidedly unconventional and distinctly untraditional. In short, the Sterling Prize celebrates work that challenges complacency,” Cannata wrote.

Past winners included Layla Cameron for her research and activism against fat discrimination in 2018, Cherry Smiley in 2014 for her feminist work to abolish prostitution and her anti-violence work against Indigenous women and girls, and Rick Routledge and Alexandra Morton for their work documenting threats to British Columbia’s wild salmon from coastal fish farms back in 2012.

The most recent winner of the award, Steven Pinker, is an experimental psychology professor and author. He received the award in 2019 for his book Enlightenment Now: The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism, and Progress. 

During his lecture following the presentation of the award, Pinker argued not only that “some of us are more controversial than others” but also that “controversy can be exaggerated because academia is becoming more politically polarized [ . . . ] and that empirical hypotheses are easily confused with moral convictions.”

The namesakes of the award, Ted and Nora Sterling, impacted others through their own pioneering acts. Nora helped to establish community-based mental health programs in the United States. She then moved to Vancouver and helped pioneer the first folk-art store as well as New-Small & Sterling Glass Studio in Granville Island.

Ted fled from Austria in 1940 to the United States with his family. After enlisting in World War II, Sterling turned to focus on his education. After receiving his doctorate, Ted then established SFU’s computing science department, serving as its chair. He understood the controversy associated with potentially compromising one’s privacy through computing technology and warned those around him. 

If you know someone who likes stirring the pot of academia or society in the best way, nominate them before February 15. More information on the prize and how to nominate someone can be found on the Sterling Prize website. 

 

SFSS adopts new reproductive rights policy, causes SFU Lifeline to no longer be recognized as a club

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Photo courtesy of Peak Archives

Written by: Michelle Gomez, Assistant News Writer

As of December 2019, the Simon Fraser Student Society (SFSS) has decided to adopt a reproductive rights policy. This policy has caused SFU Lifeline to no longer be recognized as an SFSS club. 

Amongst other conditions, the policy states that the SFSS opposes any activities “that interfere, intimidate or attempt to intimidate students from making informed decisions about sexual and reproductive health and reproductive rights.” 

It also opposes distributing material that are “intended to shock, disturb, or harass students into adopting a particular belief with respect to sexual and reproductive health and reproductive rights (including abortion).” 

The policy further states that the SFSS will not recognize any group that does not adhere to these principles. 

Sylvia Ceacero, Executive Director of the SFSS said in an email to The Peak that the “SFSS’ adoption of this policy confirms our stance on women’s reproductive rights.” 

SFU Lifeline’s club mandate, states that the club “advocates for pre-born children, whose human rights are violated by abortion [ . . . ] [they] are dedicated to raising awareness about this issue, and providing women with the support and resources they need to make a life-affirming choice that respects both mother and child.” 

Health Sciences Representative Osob Mohamed explained in an interview with The Peak that not recognizing a group as an SFSS club entails not providing resources to the club, including funding and room booking privileges. She noted that despite this, “they are free to organize on campus as any other external group does.” 

According to Mohamed, SFSS Board members had been in discussion about the matter since 2015. She explained that during the last board term, the SFSS Council put forward a request that the Board formally look into the issue. She also noted that students also contacted the SFSS about this.

An online petition created by SFU students in 2019 states that “We the students are outraged that SFU allows such discriminatory political views to be spread on campus.” At the time of writing this article, it has generated 234 signatures. 

SFU Lifeline vice-president Lily Moric (with assistance from president Lois Umali), wrote in an email interview with The Peak that “our freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression are being violated by the SFSS when they refuse to support any student club that does not agree with their pro-choice view.” 

She explained that without room booking privileges and hallway permits, the club would have to pay around $10,000 per year to continue operating as they are now. 

“It is [the SFSS’s] job to represent the student body as a whole, and this necessarily entails endorsing clubs with opposing views.” 

Moric added that Lifeline will be challenging the policy. So far, they have created a petition that has generated 520 signatures at the time of writing. 

Mohamed noted that “[SFU Lifeline’s] freedom to express themselves I don’t think is being infringed upon in this case, it’s more so a matter of the resources that we won’t provide.” 

“Of course people do have pro-life stances and they are free to express that. The issue that we had with Lifeline was a lot of distribution of materials particularly that were quite damaging to some of our students’ mental well-being.” 

Coming Up at SFU: February 10–14

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Written by: Lubaba Mahmud, Staff Writer

Reading in the Arts and Social Sciences

The Student Learning Commons is hosting a 50-minute workshop on reading strategies for students in the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences (FASS). It will introduce four reading strategies for writing essays, research papers, critical analyses, and the like. 

The workshop is free for all students, and requires registration — participants can register through the event’s page. It will take place in the W.A.C. Bennett Library, Room 3008 on Tuesday, February 11, from 12:30 p.m. to 1:20 p.m. 

Climate Emergency: The Citizen’s Guide to Climate Success

In this talk, Mark Jaccard, author of prize-winning book The Citizen’s Guide to Climate Success, 

will discuss how people can overcome climate myths, as well as climate-friendly actions they can take. He will also explain the effectiveness of such personal consumption decisions in relation to the process of electing climate-conscious politicians. Another speaker, Matt Horne, Climate Policy Manager for the City of Vancouver, will share policies that Vancouver is implementing to mitigate climate change.

The event is free and reservation is not required, but organizers recommend arriving early as they anticipate a full-house. It will take place at the Vancouver campus, Room 1900, on Tuesday, February 11 at 7 p.m.

Valentine’s Day But Not Really

The Global Student Centre is hosting a two-day drop-in style event where participants can hand-paint and decorate messages of love and gratitude. Snacks such as cookies, berries, and chocolate will also be provided.

The event is free and registration is required, with attendees able to register on the event’s page. It will take place in the Global Student Centre (AQ 2013) from Thursday, 13 February 3:00 p.m. to Friday 14 February, 2:00 p.m.

Speed Friending with Out On Campus

This event provides an opportunity to make new friends on campus. There will be several five-minute rounds where participants can converse . In these rounds they can write the names of people they would want to stay in touch with on their ‘speed-friending card.’ A post-event email indicating matches will be sent out to students.

The event is free and requires registration, which includes providing social media information. It will take place in MBC 2294, on Friday, February 14, from 1:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m.

Board of Governors and Senate Elections

SFU’s Board of Governors and Senate are holding their annual election from February 11–13. There are sixteen elected student positions on the Senate, with one student from each faculty, and at least three positions each for undergraduate and graduate students. There are 25 candidates for the student Senate positions.

There are two elected student positions on the Board of Governors, one for an undergraduate representative and one for a graduate representative. The undergraduate position is contested by four students, and the graduate position is contested by two students. 

Students will receive instructions in their SFU email on how to vote in the election.

Grad Student Society AGM

SFU’s Graduate Student Society is holding its 2020 Annual General Meeting (AGM) on February 11 from 5 p.m. to 6 p.m. in MBC 2290. Dinner will be served from 4:30 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. and a social will be held at Club Ilia after the event. The meeting is open to all members of the society in good standing (currently enrolled graduate students at SFU). The AGM is the most important annual event for the society, and an opportunity for members to hold their elected representatives accountable.

 

Valentines to give your favourite plagiarizers

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Humour
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Siloam Yeung

Written by Gabrielle McLaren, Editor-in-Chief

Siloam Yeung

“Are you on exchange from Tennessee? Because you’re definitely not getting a 10/10 from me”

Siloam Yeung

“On a scale from 1 to 10, you’re the 1 I need to teach about citations”

Siloam Yeung

“Nothing could be sweeter than getting you expelled, Valentine”

Siloam Yeung

“Cupid called. He saw you copy-pasting.”

Siloam Yeung

“Roses are red,

Violets are blue, 

You didn’t change the font colour, 

How fucking dumb are you?”

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: February 10–16

By
Humour
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An illustration of a girl with long flowing hair. Astrological signs and stars shine around her.
ILLUSTRATION: Marissa Ouyang / The Peak

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor

Aries — March 21–April 19

This week, tell your suitor that it’s French kisses or nothing — and you really do mean French kisses. If your date’s lips can’t whisper Jean de la Fontaine’s “Le corbeau et le renard” to you from memory, start to finish, then there’s just no future there.

Taurus — April 20–May 20

You can’t go wrong with a nice romantic seafood dinner this week. The tanked lobster at Superstore scuttling away from the cashier’s tongs loves you almost as much as you love him . . . or so agriculture has raised you to blindly believe. 

Gemini — May 21–June 20

You will spend this Valentine’s Day extremely unsatisfied. It’s hard when no one understands you like you do. As Sartre said, hell is other people — your best bet is to spend the night cuddling a big fluffy strain of coronavirus. 

Cancer — June 21–July 22

The one you love will get you very hot this week. And you’ll love it. Thank God you’re pining after someone who’s not afraid to rack up a heating bill on that thermostat in this death weather.

Leo — July 23–August 22

Beauty is your sword and shield this week. When a classmate raises their hand to steal your participation marks, cut them down with an alluring look and cut in with the exact correct answer to whatever question your instructor asked — or a super BS answer that will make people take pity on you and lull them into a false sense of security, your call. 

Virgo — August 23–September 22

You do many different kindnesses for your partners, but this week, you should consider letting them reciprocate. If anyone deserves to be sweetly serenaded in the middle of the night with “Turn Down for What,” it’s you and your martyrdom.

Libra — September 23–October 22

You and those close to you need to find a place to confess this week, where you can confess to the sinful nights you’ve all shared. Getting together via group chat to scour the embarrassing Instagram of that old classmate you all hate is just not something you do out of wedlock. 

Scorpio — October 23–November 21

You’re gonna rock someone’s whole world this week. They will never be the same when they find out you can pour classic and maple pecan syrup into coffee. 

Sagittarius — November 22–December 21

There’s no week like this week for you to do with yourself that thing you like with your persecution complex. 

Capricorn — December 22–January 19

Romance is exhausting. Spend this week in bed whenever you can manage it. Let your freshly laundered bedding and Godiva chocolates protect your virtue, constitute your vice, and imitate your valium.  

Aquarius — January 20–February 18

Punish yourself this week with whips. Cool Whip, Miracle Whip, Cheese Whip, and whatever other gross commercial brands you’ve been buying and then promptly shoving to the back of your family’s fridge to rot. Disgusting. 

Pisces — February 19–March 20

You are a pure innocent daffodil and you shouldn’t be reading The Peak. ~x~Drink water and transfer to Pigfarts~x~

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us:
[email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024