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Ten revolutionary things invented by Black folks

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Who created GIFs? You’re about to find out! IMAGE: Sara Wong / The Peak

By: Madeleine Chan, Opinions Editor

When you think of famous inventors, names like Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin, and even Steve Jobs might be some of the first that pop into your mind. You’ll notice that what all these people have in common is that they are white. A simple Google search for “famous inventors” features only the top white minds of the past couple centuries. However, this doesn’t actually reflect the reality of the innovative landscape. In fact, many of the objects that you probably use today were invented by non-white people, specifically by Black people. I’ve listed only 10 of these inventions, but the creativity of Black inventors knows no limit. 

Colour PC monitors and plug-ins

Imagine if all computer screens were in black and white and you couldn’t plug a mouse or keyboard into them. Because of Mark Dean, we don’t have to. Born in 1957, he graduated from the University of Tennessee with high honours and then got a job with computer company IBM. There, he invented computer device plug-ins and later developed the colour monitor. He was rightfully given many awards and honours, including being inducted into the National Inventors Hall of Fame. 

Toilet paper holder

You have Mary Beatrice Davidson Kenner to thank for making sure you can wipe your ass quickly. She created the toilet paper holder to make sure the “loose end of a roll was always within reach.” This is one of five things that got publicly made in her lifetime, and one of countless inventions she whipped up. Others include the back washer and the sanitary belt — the precursor to the innovation of today’s menstrual pads. Her innovation and heart knew no bounds as she believed that “every person is born with a creative mind, everyone has that ability.”

Home security system

The movie Smart Home has nothing on Marie Van Brittan Brown, who invented and patented the first closed-circuit television security system (CCTV) in 1966. Heightened crime and undependable police presence in her home of Jamaica, Queens in New York City led her to develop a system of cameras, microphones, remote controls, and security alerts that the user could control from inside their home. It’s a bit ironic that her invention has led to such surveillance of people by governmental forces, but it has also undoubtedly protected people as well. 

Caller ID

Dr. Shirley Ann Jackson is the person who has protected you from answering scam calls and helped you ignore ruthless exes. Caller ID is just one of the many telecommunications breakthroughs she made, she also helped to develop the touch tone phone, portable fax, fiber optic cables, and solar cells. Among her many scholarly accolades, she was also awarded the National Medal of Science by President Barack Obama in 2016. 

GIFs

Without Lisa Gelobter, you wouldn’t be able to see GIFs of cute cats, or share your reactions to friends through animation. She helped to create the web animation software that would be instrumental in developing the Graphics Interchange Format (GIF). And in 2015, she worked with President Barack Obama to improve the US government’s digital services. 

Game cartridge

If you’ve ever satisfyingly clicked a little Nintendo, Atari, or otherwise video game cartridge into a console, you have Gerald “Jerry” Lawson to thank. He was the first to make video games separate from the system, which has led to how most video game consoles operate today. He carried on creating innovative technologies until his passing in 2011. 

Compact microphone

Without the invention of the compact microphone by James West, our professors would have to partake in the complete silences that plague our Zoom classes. Originally named the Electret microphone, it went into mass production in 1968 and the technology is used in virtually every device that has a microphone. In 1999, he was inducted into the National Inventors Hall of Fame. 

Potato chips

Your 3 a.m. munchies are owed to the ironically named George Crum, born George Speck. While it’s unclear if he or his sister Catherine Wicks actually invented the chip, Crum popularized the snack by serving the then-named Saratoga chips at a restaurant he worked at. Herman Lay (of Lay’s chips) later got his own chips into mass production and popularized them on a global scale, but Crum’s legacy is still in those crunchy, salty slices. 

Lightbulb filament

The reason we can see at night in our homes is in part due to the innovation of Lewis Howard Latimer. Born in 1848, he developed a filament that greatly improved Thomas Edison’s design of the lightbulb. He also collaborated with Alexander Graham Bell on improvements to the telephone, and later improved the safety of elevators. His successes as a Black man in the 19th century are a testament to his skill and innovative prowess. 

Pencil sharpener

Remember those little plastic rectangular things that you would hand-crank to sharpen your pencils? John Lee Love was the one who invented them. Originally named the “Love Sharpener,” it was made in 1894 as a portable and practical alternative to bulkier models. While we may not be using wood pencils as much anymore, if you want to sharpen one, Love made it a lot easier to. 

The Colourful World of Wong Kar-wai

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Having directed more than 20 films, this short list highlights some of Wong Kar-wai’s best work. Image: Sara Wong / The Peak

By: Lester Leong, SFU Student

1. Chungking Express (1994)

This is the film that arguably gained widespread recognition for Wong Kar-wai. Featuring two loosely connected segments about two individual cops yearning for love in the nighttime streets of Hong Kong, Chungking Express is a breezy, fun, and playful film that is part crime thriller and part romcom.

While the first segment — featuring Takeshi Kaneshiro as a detective who finds one night of solace in a mysterious woman from the criminal underworld — is fun in its own right, it’s really the second segment that makes the film memorable. It features Tony Leung as Cop 663, the object of romantic longing for Faye Wong’s character, who is also named Faye. The playful nature of Faye’s yearning for the love of Cop 663 turns creepy acts (breaking into her crush’s apartment, keeping and reading his ex’s private break-up letter, etc.) into something meant to be cute and naïve. Unusually optimistic and cheerful for Wong, Chungking Express is the best starting point to get into his filmography.

2. In the Mood for Love (2000)

Wong Kar-wai’s filmmaking style features doomed romances, exquisite uses of colours within the frame, and magnificent performances from regular collaborators Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung; In the Mood for Love is the perfect example of that. Widely considered to be his quintessential masterpiece, it is an atmospheric, immersive, and colourful film about seeking comfort in an unlikely romance.

The films of Wong Kar-wai are not so concerned with plot progression as they are with the overall mood of the film and the emotions they provoke within the viewer. In the Mood for Love, however, does have a steady plot. It’s about two neighbours in 1960s Hong Kong, who — after finding out that their spouses are having an affair — start to bond.  The main focus of the film is the central platonic relationship between the two protagonists; this lends a lot of sympathy for their plight. In other movies, the cheating spouses would be the focal point and they would have been vilified by the audience. However, In the Mood for Love does things differently. Instead of showing them completely in the frame, Wong chooses to hide their faces, so the audience cannot associate a face to the act. The main point is not to hate on the cheating spouses, but to follow the bittersweet journey of the two protagonists.

3. Happy Together (1997)

Ill-fated romances are a key feature of most Wong Kar-wai stories, and Happy Together is no different. Tony Leung and Leslie Cheung play a gay couple who get stranded in Buenos Aires after a spontaneous trip to the city to rekindle their relationship. While most of Wong Kar-wai’s films have doomed romances featuring two characters that would be perfect matches, Happy Together depicts two people, who are arguably terrible for each other, finding their toxic relationship slowly crumbling. Although there are the occasional moments of happiness in their relationship (like the romantic waltz in the kitchen), it is ultimately a futile endeavour. It’s not the most cheerful of Wong Kar-wai’s films, but it does have a rather bittersweet ending that’s more optimistic than most.

All of the aforementioned films are available to rent online through the digital TIFF Bell Lightbox.

 

 

 

 

 

STEM students need to prioritize academic interaction

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Interaction between different fields of study leads to richer education. PHOTO: ThisisEngineering RAEng / Unsplash

by Jacob Mattie, SFU Student

In the 1990s, Dr. Mary M. Tai, a researcher working in diabetes care at New York University, published a paper highlighting a new method to obtain the area under a graph useful for many diagnostic and treatment procedures. Dr. Tai had, in effect, redeveloped calculus. 

This discovery would have revolutionized a number of fields were it not already widely used. 

This event highlights a major problem in STEM-related academia: lack of communication between disciplines leads to a redundancy in research and growth of knowledge. In Dr. Tai’s case, had calculus been better recognized in her field, not only could medical treatments have been improved faster, but Dr. Tai — evidently a promising mathematician might have been able to make more helpful contributions to the field. 

While lack of communication is most noticeable among working professionals, it begins in the time we spend in university. SFU, in particular, tries to solve this imbalanced education by mandating that students — including those in STEM fields — take courses outside of their chosen department. However, this is only a partial solution, and staying involved with peers outside of our immediate vicinity is ultimately made a student responsibility. Despite this, keeping ties with our peers in other departments and faculties becomes more difficult as we lose ourselves in an increasingly specific course load.

Traditionally, drawing together students from various academic backgrounds is facilitated by clubs. However, many leisure clubs — such as the SFU Anime and SFU Tea Clubs — do not have academic networking as a primary goal. Project-oriented clubs that do prioritize academia tend to be smaller, and draw a specific demographic within STEM. For example, SFU’s robotics clubs are likely populated by mostly mechatronics and computing science students. 

It is understandable that STEM students focus on their interests and develop their skills accordingly but, in a larger context, this begins to cause problems. Being surrounded by peers that share the same perspectives and abilities can lead to misconceptions. This manifests most clearly in interactions between departments. 

A chemist friend of mine once asked me to read an essay of his, which had the goal of describing a recent chemical innovation to the non-chemist — in my case, a mathematician. After about a page of discussion on the topic, it mentioned off-handedly that the entire concept could be thought of as a biodegradable switch. The inclusion of this simple metaphor was the key to describing the impact of the discovery, and should have taken precedence over the multiple paragraphs of scientific jargon.

I hope that if my friend reads this he forgives me for describing his work in such an unflattering light. But communication attempts such as these, which fail to really grasp the perspective and knowledge of the non-specialist reader, are all too common among STEM fields. Despite SFU’s best attempts to fix this, the onus on bringing about change lies on us.

I’m not saying that we should strive to become all-encompassing repositories of knowledge, but that we would do well to socialize and work more regularly with those outside of our areas of study. It is by being clear about what we know or don’t, by sharing knowledge, and by connecting with peers outside of our disciplines, we will be able to make genuinely impactful changes to the areas in which we choose to apply ourselves — and hopefully avoid a situation like Dr. Tai’s.

Need to Know, Need to Go: February 22–28

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Illustration of a blue calendar, with "Need to Know, Need to Go" written on top
Arts & Culture events to catch around the city. Image courtesy of Brianna Quan

By: Charlene Aviles, Peak Associate

Healing Circles with the Restoring Circles Society | Online | Weekly from February 12March 26 | FREE with registration

At the heart of The Restoring Circles Society is the goal of decolonization through teaching Indigenous cultural traditions of “peace-building.” The Society’s online healing circles provide a safe space for participants to build support networks and receive mentorship. Teachers Susan Powell Inyanskawin, Brittany O’Rourke, Paulina Jimenez, and Dr. Beverly Jacobs will lead a session of songs, art and story therapy, Indigenous teachings, and circle practice. Seats can be reserved by registering on Eventbrite.

Shaking it Up: Celebrating Black Excellence in Vancouver | Online | February 25 from 6:308 p.m. | By donation ($10-30)

Arreglo Entertainment presents a Black History Month event that is part panel discussion and part cocktail-making class. First, attendees will learn about the panelists’ — Kymani Guy, Lystra Germaine Sam, Makadi, and Enya Graham — accomplishments in various Vancouver industries. After the panel, Bria and Stephanie Kayser of DALINA will demonstrate how to make a whisky sour and lemon drop martini. While registering for this event on Eventbrite, Metro Vancouver participants can order $30 cocktail kits, which will arrive in time for DALINA’s class. Participants will also be entered in a draw for various prizes, depending on ticket tier.

Virtual Uke Circle | Zoom | February 28 from 2 4 p.m. | Recommended donation of $5

Amber Leigh, also known as the Crescent Cardinal, is a Maple Ridge musician who plays many instruments, including the guitar, ukulele, keyboard, and alto saxophone. She invites all ukulele players to the Virtual Uke Circle, where they can meet other musicians and sing their hearts out. All participants will have the opportunity to showcase their talent at an open mic session. There will also be an opportunity to learn the chords to a new song. Although the event is free, there is an option to donate $5 to the Crescent Cardinal while registering through Eventbrite.

Your favourite houseplant reveals how you are coping with remote learning

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ILLUSTRATION: Shaheen Virk / The Peak

By: Charlotte Gravert, SFU Student

If you are a fellow plant parent, you are likely to have this one green friend that gets a little extra attention than its siblings (and maybe your actual siblings, too). We bet that by telling us which one, we can guess how you are spending remote learning. 

Succulent: The second you heard school would be remote, you immediately packed your toothbrush and laptop and took off. You found a cheap room in a house full of fellow escapists. Now, you’re probably working a mediocre part-time job or you are lucky to still have student support from daddy Trudeau — either way, you are loving remote learning. Your beloved succulent is either with you or in temporary care of a friend; neither the plant nor you are particularly picky and would be thriving in all kinds of conditions. 

Cacti: It took you a hot second to notice when the lockdown measures were rolled out, as most of your friends and interactions took place on Discord before it was mainstream. You are happy staying on Burnaby Mountain, or wherever you had previously set up your extensive computer set. Social distancing isn’t so bad — for your cacti or yourself. A safe distance away from a stranger’s touch has always been your vibe. Same for remote learning: your abilities to avoid speaking in Zoom calls matches the strength of your internet connection.

Cut Flowers: When lockdown hit and school went online, you thrived in online classes with the help of Dalgona coffee and homemade bread. You love change, but after a while all remotely taught courses began to blend into one. No new TikTok trends caught your eye like they used to. When you heard that remote learning would continue, you either left for home or gave your room a big makeover (cottagecore or dark academia themed). Just like cut flowers need to be changed out after a week or so, you are probably reading this while planning to bleach your hair or get a new piercing. 

Bonsai or Orchid: When school went online, you really struggled getting up and going in the mornings with no reason to get dressed and ready. Fourth day sweatpants from Old Navy were the new Givenchy. But after a couple of rough first weeks, your drive for self-improvement blossomed. All that money saved on SFU parking went right to your Sephora order. Just like a bonsai or orchid, you avoid travels and sudden changes. Who wants to carry their 50-piece The Ordinary collection around, anyway? Plus, now you’re looking at wearing those pants for two days straight max.

Indoor Palm: Just like your indoor palm, you started turning your leaves brown due to a lack of social interactions, AKA your personal source of sunshine. Whether you are an athlete and miss the gyms, or a former library rat or coffeeshop learner, remote learning took away your happy spots. Like a palm pushed away from the window into a dark corner, you hate it all and can’t wait to get back to how things were.

The tree outside your family home: When lockdown offered (or forced) us to return to our families, you couldn’t wait to put your roots back into your home soil. If you never left your house, you’d feel blessed because Zoom calls mean less driving around your hometown and risking pulling up to a red light next to your high school math teacher. And as much as you love living it up at Hotel Mama, you sometimes wonder if the constant nagging, lack of privacy, and slow internet is truly the most fertile ground for your sprouting.

Monday Music: Songs to amplify the despair you feel when growing older

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"Monday Music" in giant yellow block letters with a red background
Monday Music: your weekly themed playlist. Image courtesy of The Peak.

By: Kyla Dowling, Staff Writer and Old Woman

At the time of writing this, I am exactly a week away from turning 20. I’m certain other people have experienced angst over getting older to some degree, but as someone who spent her 17th birthday crying atop a ping-pong table while listening to old Avril Lavigne songs and wearing a crown made for a toddler that reads “Birthday Princess”. . . let’s just say that growing up hits me hard. As such, I’m treating the readers of The Peak to the songs that assist in my yearly mental breakdown. When you listen to these songs — which you should because they’re all depressing masterpieces — please think of me weeping over adulthood. 

“Richie Tozier” by Ok Otter

Image courtesy of Michael F Doyle

Yes, this song is named after a character from It by Stephen King. No, you do not need the background context of the book, the movies, or the ill-fated mini-series to understand it. The chorus lays out the main theme of the song: “I’ve been away for a long time/But I finally made my way home/Everybody expects me to be the cool guy from the radio.” You know that feeling of returning to your hometown, visiting your old haunts, and feeling like you’re the main character? The song encapsulates that feeling, but makes it darker. What if you’re not as cool and wise as everyone thinks you are? You’ve been away from your old friends, and maybe you think you’re better than the people who stuck around your hometown, but the character growth that leaving home gives you is not all positive. And maybe — just maybe — when you realize you haven’t become this idealized version of yourself, you think that you should have never left. The best part of this song is that it is upbeat, so you can howl about the perils of getting older without getting better as you drive past your old elementary school. 

“Pool” by Samia 

Image courtesy of Grand Jury Music

“Pool” is the introductory song to Samia’s debut album, The Baby, and it starts the album on a high, albeit nostalgic, note. The first voice we hear is her grandmother, singing to her in Arabic, above an ethereal underwater synth. Samia has sung about her grandmother before, in her 2019 single “Milk,” but here she uses the recording of her grandmother to evoke childhood nostalgia before wondering how long she has left in magical moments. The second verse dissolves into the outro, where Samia asks an overlapping deluge of questions, her voice rife with emotion. As the song fades out, her final question echoes: “Is it too much to ask?”

“Class of 2013” by Mitski 

Image courtesy of Mitski

If you’re on a certain side of TikTok — and by that I mean the side that consists of queer young adults who are a little too obsessed with indie music — you’ve probably heard one of Mitski’s iconic lines before. In “Class of 2013,” Mitski, a Japanese-American singer-songwriter and angsty indie queen, strums her guitar and howls into it: “Mom, will you wash my back this once?” The entire song addresses her mother, as she begs to sleep in her childhood bed and be taken care of before having to grow up. In less than two minutes, the lyrics and Mitski’s crooning, pained voice tell a story of feeling plunged into adulthood after graduation and wanting to “dream for a few months more.” In this age, when many young adults are stuck at home during the pandemic instead of striking out on their own, this song is a gut punch from your lost inner child to the part of you who thinks you’re all grown up. 

“Ribs” by Lorde 

Image Courtesy of Universal Music NZ Ltd.

If you’ve ever been victim to the gnawing horror and encroaching anxiety of getting older, this song is for you. Heralded as a teen angst anthem, this song brings forth nostalgia of teenage moments: throwing a party when your parents leave you home alone, listening to the same song over and over without getting tired of it, and sprawling out on the pavement with your best friend, laughing until your body hurts. Lorde repeats the chorus with more and more fervency as the song goes on, clinging to her youth, before the line “It drives you crazy getting old” warps into “It feels so scary getting old.” After that shift — the realization that growing up isn’t all that she dreamed of — she tries to cling to the memory of her childhood, singing: “You’re the only friend I need/Sharing beds like little kids/We’ll laugh until our ribs get tough/But that will never be enough.” The echoing ending, with the repetition of “that will never be enough,” is a bittersweet acceptance that you’ll never get your youth back. 

Your weekly Shrekly Horoscopes: February 22–28

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An illustration of a girl with long flowing hair. Astrological signs and stars shine around her.
ILLUSTRATION: Marissa Ouyang / The Peak

By: Charlotte Gravert, SFU Student

Happy Chinese New Year! Hardworking ox is jumping in front of the cart to pull us out of the COVID swamp. We asked the stars and swamp expert Shrek for some personalized advice on how to make 2021 better than 2020. 

ARIES: “You’re going the right way for a smacked bottom.” — Stubbornness just won’t cut it this time around. If you keep trying to get past a wall by hitting through it, maybe it’s simply not the right way to go? Shrek agrees, and recommends you take a sharp left past the Dragon’s Keep.

TAURUS: “It’s time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. You’re the new king of Far Far Away.” — Your calming steadiness is what the world needs right now! The lead role comes with many benefits this year. For example, the work from home uniform is extra plush and complimentary snacks are available 24/7. 

GEMINI: “Ogres are like onions.” — We already love all your layers, but you too need to love yourself. You don’t want to be an onion? Many things have layers: cabbage, brussel sprouts . . . You want to be sweet? Try making like a pineapple and peel away that hard, prickly exterior of yours.

CANCER: “Donkey, you have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.” — You have the power within to resist chaos and panic and be your best self. Did you know you can read over texts for typos before sending them? Can we do that IRL?

LEO: “Gee, do you think he’s maybe compensating for something?” — Shrek has a distaste for the pompous and loud. Dial it down a bit. We don’t want to hear about your lockdown transformation while we are left with our 2 a.m. box dye hairstyles. Leave us to grieve.

VIRGO: “It’s on my To-Do list!” — Virgos, why hasn’t the dragon been slaughtered yet? Oh, oh it’s on your list. No need to shout. Take it easy. Too much discipline becomes compulsive. Stressed spelled backwards is “desserts.” Shrek recommends squeezed liver on toast, but maybe some Reese’s cups would do, too. 

LIBRA: “Someday, I will repay you. Unless, of course, I can’t find you or if I forget.” — As Shrek would put it, you are suffering from a major brain fart. Try finding yourself a sidekick that can hold you accountable. Talking donkeys are not the most apartment-friendly. What about a talking mirror? 

SCORPIO: “I’m an ogre! You know, ‘Grab your torch and pitchforks!’ Doesn’t that bother you?” — We don’t mind your curves and edges! You do scare us sometimes, though . . . Lighten up, not everything has to be bloodshed and tears — with you, aim for a 70/30 ratio. 

SAGITTARIUS: You know what? Maybe there’s a good reason donkeys shouldn’t talk.” — If you can’t play nice with others, you have to go to the timeout corner (being muted on Zoom). Stop dragging the tutorials to overtime with stories about your cats sleeping schedule. Actually, the cat can stay, not you.

CAPRICORN: “A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Taut, round buttocks?” — Glow-ups don’t happen from the outside-in. Adhering to the beauty standards only brought trouble to Shrek, and it will do the same for you! Embrace your green and stop using the cat ear filter on Snapchat.

AQUARIUS: “What are you doing in my swamp!?” — Shrek and you both know the feeling of isolating, but things only got better once Shrek opened his heart to others. There surely is a Gingy in your life that would give his last sugardrop up for you. You need to do the same. 

PISCES: “There’s a stack of freshly made waffles in the middle of the forest! Don’t you find that a wee bit suspicious?” — Has no one told you that you don’t take candy from strangers? Stop taking the nonsense that false friends and fake news are dishing up. You know better than that.

Greek life is as bad as the movies — if not worse

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A deep history of racism and widespread, present-day exclusionary attitudes reflect the stereotypes. PHOTO: Cassie Howard / Her Campus

by Kyla Dowling, Staff Writer

Greek life — composed of exclusive social organizations like fraternities and sororities — tends to get a bad rap. Often in entertainment media, sororities are portrayed as a hivemind of shallow, catty girls. Likewise, fraternities are chock-full of players (in every sense of the word) who are all named some variation of Chad. It’s easy to chalk these organizations up to the stereotypes — especially if, like most SFU students, your interaction with Greek life only extends to attending the rare frat party and getting spammed with invites to rush sororities. However, these perceptions are only a fraction of Greek life’s reality, especially considering Greek life organizations at SFU are not given club status by the SFSS. As rush (recruitment) season begins, let me assure you: they’re lying when they say “it’s not like the movies.”

The easiest place to start when condemning Greek life is its built-in prejudice. After the first fraternity was created in 1776 and Greek life began to blossom on college campuses, the organizations were primarily composed of the wealthy, white, Anglo-Saxon students. Even when significant numbers of Black students were admitted to post-secondary schools in the 1960s, some Greek life institutions doubled down by instating a racial ban

Like many organizations built on prejudice, these traits remain active to this day. As of 2014, approximately 95% of members of historically white Greek life organizations identify as white. It was only in 2003 that a Black woman was allowed to join a sorority at the University of Alabama — and there’s speculation that she was only initiated to dispel claims of racism. Discriminatory scandals are rampant in the Greek life world, and Canadian organizations are no exception. 

If you search for SFU’s Greek life organizations online, there isn’t much save for a few Facebook pages, reviews on Greek Rank, and even a few Peak articles. If you search for any racist or otherwise negative takes on Greek life at SFU, you won’t find much other than a Reddit thread from 2016 discussing intense hazing — which is the reason SFU does not affiliate with sororities and fraternities on campus. Not much negativity can be found because at least one sorority at SFU pays Greek Rank to remove negative reviews of their chapter.

I know this because I narrowly avoided the fate of being a sorority sister. In my first semester at SFU, I attended a meeting — held in the AQ without SFU’s knowledge — where each sorority gave a presentation to entice new members to rush for them. Save for one sorority, which was full of classically pretty, white, blonde girls, it really didn’t seem like the movies, so I decided to rush.

The girls were sweet, but the rules were inane. Among other odd requirements to join, I was reprimanded multiple times: for posting myself having a glass of wine with my mother, for owning a fake ID that I never had the guts to use, and for smoking weed. The latter offense wasn’t even on social media or publicized, but the day before initiation, after sinking hundreds of dollars and dozens of hours into this sorority, I was kicked out. My lifestyle choices weren’t compatible with the sorority’s image.

When they took away my chance at sisterhood, they snatched my rose-coloured glasses too. I began thinking back at all the behaviour I’d overlooked: members promoting unhealthy eating habits in front of rushees, saying the n-word despite not being Black, and treating queerness like a party trick. The latter point is interesting, given that one of the major reasons why the SFSS doesn’t recognise Greek life organizations as clubs is because they violate the SFSS’ pro-LGBTQ2+ ideals.

Incensed, a few other former members and I took to Greek Rank to share our honest opinions on the sorority. I gave a scathing indictment of the organization, urging potential members to not rush the sorority. Within a few days, the reviews were gone, replaced by positive ones: five stars in friendliness, popularity, classiness, social life, and sisterhood. According to the website, individual reviews can be taken down for $4.99 apiece. The money I had given them was being used to silence me and bolster their reputation.

My experience is not a singular one. Reddit is filled with fraternity and sorority horror stories, and last year there were national calls to abolish Greek life. This call isn’t just from people like me or members of the SFSS; the call is coming from inside these houses, with members of US sororities and fraternities mobilizing against the system. It’s clear this isn’t just an SFU issue. 

The history of Greek life is rife with discrimination. The media’s portrayal of it veers between accuracy and a caricature of shallow women and childish men. The reality of it, at least at SFU, is that there isn’t any proof of the bigotry that is entrenched in the system — but lack of evidence doesn’t equal innocence. My experience, the experiences of others I know, and the removal of negative reviews on Greek Rank implies that there’s something dark under their posed philanthropy and glittery paddles. Being in one of these organizations will ruin your self-esteem, cheat you out of hundreds of dollars, and make you complicit in excluding those outside cis-heterosexual normativity — if you have the “honour” of making it to pledge season.

Captcha test, I promise I’m not a robot

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IMAGE: Gudrun Wai-Gunnarsson / The Peak

By: Emma Jean, Staff Writer

Another day, another incognito window opened because I’m too ashamed to have Tumblr in my browser history in 2021. As the homepage of my favourite New Yorker magazine stan blog loads, I rapidly dash off an anonymous message (once again, shame) to tell the blogger their predictions on Rachel Syme’s next perfume review are horseshit. As I hit send, a new challenger approaches. 

“Confirm you’re not a robot,” poses a Captcha window. “Which of these photos contains a motorcycle?” It presents me with nine different pictures to choose from. Am I supposed to see something coherent in these seven pixels? I look them over and click three different motorcycles then hit send. Instead of sending my scalding rebuttal, the Captcha bounces back. 

Is this some kind of bullshit trick question? C’est ne pas une motorcycle?

This time, I click some stop signs more deliberately, taking extra care so I don’t miss any other massive red objects in the otherwise beige photos. Declined again. I shove my laptop away, swinging my head down into my hands. Whatever, my hot take wasn’t worth it, anyway. As I raise my eyes up and look back at the Captcha screen, I couldn’t help but wonder: how can I keep getting these things wrong? Am I human? Am I dancer? Or am I something else entirely? 

The next morning, as I make a noble effort to take off last night’s smudged mascara to look marginally less like a raccoon, I see something in the mirror that catches my eye. It looked as though a part of my face stopped moving while the rest of it continued. Was that . . . a glitch? A trick of the eye? Are those Cyberpunk 2077 glitches so bad they’re happening in real life? I put a hand to my cheekbone where it was stuck, and as soon as I bring it away it’s back to normal. I shake my head dismissively and walk towards the door when I swear I see my fingers glitch to look like Lara Croft in 1997.

Things start feeling different. My encyclopedic knowledge of Pokémon seems less like a byproduct of years of play and more like a Wikipedia page I’ve downloaded; it starts to feel like Big Shazam is controlling my need to tell people who definitely didn’t ask for fun facts about music. I see another glitch in my reflection, this time an unmoving eyebrow. 

“Mods, fix this please!” I yell to my reflection.

Exhausted, I finally roll into bed and open Netflix to hear from the only man who will truly ever get me, stand-up comedian John Mulaney. I close my eyes and let the familiar comfort of the material and his simultaneously gawky and smooth voice take me away. 

“Hmmm . . . ” he begins a bit, and I curl my blanket closer to my face. “I smell a robot!” 

I shot up. “Not you, John!” 

“Prove, prove to me you’re not a ROBOT!” he mocked. How could he be so cruel? 

“I can’t, but you’ve got to believe me, please!” I plead. Tears spill from my eyes as I yank my earbuds out to silence his taunts and wipe my cheeks dry. Wait . . . my tears . . . robots can’t cry, right? Why would that inconvenient quirk of human biology be useful to take on? Could that Domhnall Gleeson robot on Black Mirror cry? It doesn’t matter. Take that, Captcha, John Mulaney, and my self-awareness; I wasn’t a robot after all. Right?

As I closed my laptop and rolled over to my side that night, however, I couldn’t help but notice a pixel of my thumb out of place. Instead of panicking, I pull a classic human move: ignore an obvious problem in favour of a more convenient, blissful denial. Now, where’s my charger? For my phone, of course.