By Gary Lim
Petter initiates and wins and staring contest between himself and a koi fish in the AQ pond.
By Gary Lim
Petter initiates and wins and staring contest between himself and a koi fish in the AQ pond.
By Blair Woynarski — The Sheaf (CUP)
A little over a year ago, I decided to buy an issue of Playboy.
The precise reason for this decision is a little fuzzy, but I believe it had something to do with viewing it as a rite of passage. At 21 years old, I had never flipped through a Playboy in my life, and it seemed that I was missing out on a big aspect of popular culture.
The weeks spent waiting for it to arrive in the mail were characterized by strange emotion. I went out to check the mailbox every day — not because I was dying with anticipation, but rather because I didn’t want my roommate to bring it in first. I felt like I was carrying around a weird, dark secret, or that I had crossed some sort of unforgivable line into a world of perversion. But then one day it arrived, and it is hard to say what my reaction was. It wasn’t excitement, nor was it disappointment; it was a neutral, calculating sense of, “So this is Playboy. Huh.”
One of my first thoughts was, “Wow, this really is just like a normal magazine.” It had advertisements, advice columns, whatever. But as I looked a bit more closely, I discovered something much more shocking. I discovered that it had more literary merit than most of what I could find on the magazine racks.
Don’t believe me? That’s fine. But let me ask you this: who was the most talked-about woman in Playboy last year? While you might not have a specific answer, chances are you are forming a vague mental impression. I can guarantee you are not thinking of the 89-year-old former dean of the White House Press Corps, Helen Thomas, who was the subject of a Playboy interview last April and ignited controversy with her anti-Zionist comments. But that, in fact, is the correct answer.
The time-honoured Playboy interview has, over the years, dealt with many notable figures, including Bill Cosby, Robert De Niro, Barbra Streisand, George Carlin, Anne Rice, John Lennon, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., Betty Friedan, Carl Sagan, Stephen Hawking and Fidel Castro (twice). Even vitriolic conservatives Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh have deigned to be interviewed.
On top of that, I’ve read articles on the Arab Spring, asteroid mining, shark attacks, the making of Scarface, and the meth empire created by actor Tom Arnold’s sister. Playboy’s journalists not only produce great content, but they also track down intriguing stories that are not picked up anywhere else. So the question is: why does it still come delivered in a blacked-out plastic bag?
Criticism seems to come from two sources. One is an old, conservative generation that feels the need to stamp out boobs wherever they arise, but is still content to let the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition fly off newsstands across the continent. The other criticism is from a younger generation that finds buying Playboy to be the most ridiculous thing in the world when it’s so easy to find pictures of naked women online. And this group elucidates my point perfectly: Playboy lost its “dirty pictures” niche a long time ago, and it keeps going simply because of its strength as a publication.
I am not defending Playboy against any and all criticism. There is plenty you could write about “bunny culture” and its effect on women, though I do not feel competent to weigh in here. I am concerned primarily with the magazine, and the magazine is certainly no more damaging to women than the plethora of publications specifically directed at them.
I find myself staring at a Cosmopolitan cover every time I get my haircut, and frankly, it embarrasses me. They all run together in my memory, but I can recall tags like, “10 Things Guys Crave in Bed,” “9 Times You Won’t Burn in Hell for Being Bitchy,” “‘My Gyno Talked to my Vagina’ and Other Doc Shockers” and countless hard-hitting “Sex Surveys.” Of course, none sticks out more prominently in my memory than “The Butt Facial.” Any woman could read that in public without attracting a sideways glance, yet I would be a pervert for reading an interview with Jon Hamm just because of a partially obscured title printed across the top of the cover.
None of this will change, obviously. I will still furtively ferry my magazine back to my apartment when no one else is around, and I will still peruse deep and thought-provoking articles about solar energy or North Korea while kitschy nude cartoons smile from the opposite page.
I make the following confession: I read Playboy for the articles. Judge me as you will.
“I spen’it pah-troling the border. Can’t have any of those dern space-needling fixed-gear-bicycling coffee beaners sneaking up here to take our jobs”
Avery Clements
Shotgun enthusiast
“You really think I’d trust the Canadians? It’s always the quiet ones you need to watch out for.”
Gregory Barnett
Man in tin foil hat
“I celebrated my 366th birthday. Alone. Oh yeah, why pay any attention to Gottfried. It’s not like he ever did anything important, like invent fucking calculus!”
Gottfried Leibnez
Dead math guy
“Oh, I’m so sorry, I completely forgot to ask you how your Canada Day was. How rude of me.”
Shelly Spears
Average Canadian
“His birthday is next we — shit. Sweden! Hey Sweden! You know if the drugstore still open?”
England
Land of the English
By Gary Lim
By Gary Lim
BURNABY — Following the recent economic downturn, SFU administration announced a new revenue-bolstering program that is planned for 2013 earlier this week. The program, hailed as “groundbreaking” and “innovative” by early testers, would create a tiered pricing list or “menu” for the privilege of having one of the university’s fixtures, programs or buildings named after yourself.
The bold new initiative, spearheaded by director of media relations Jillian Wiseman, is the first of its kind in the country. The Peak sat down with Wiseman to discuss the program.
“Naming buildings in honour of alumni and companies who have pledged large sums of money to SFU isn’t new by any stretch. Look at the Beedies, the Shrums, and the West Malls. Each of these families has been very generous to SFU in the past and each are now left with a legacy. Something their future generations can look back on with a sense of pride, and that’s something money can’t buy. This is what we aim to change.
“Normally the charitable amounts needed for SFU to affix you or your company’s name on a piece of its iconic architecture are well out of reach of the average person. But with the new tiered pricing plan, we now offer several very affordable payment plans. Now, for the price of a tank of gas, future students can admire the official Benedict Reiners water stain.”
Preliminary research shows the pricing will range from just under 50 dollars to over several million, with the former affording a modest 1’ by 1’ section of linoleum in the AQ and the latter changing the name of the mountain on which the campus is built.
Professor of Psychology, Edwin Krause, writes about the program while speaking on the nature of eponymy in his new book Professor of Psychology, Edwin Krause.
“Throughout the ages people have sought to immortalize themselves in great works. But no one really has the time for any great works in this day and age, so instead we try to leave a physical mark on the world. Tombstones for instance, are little more than a rock with one’s name engraved on it, yet they’ve become a fixture of western burial rites.”
“To these people it doesn’t even matter that what they’re so proudly leaving their name turns out to be little more than poorly ventilated storage room. Because this is how they plan to live on. Just look at history, and all the terrible things that people to this day have attributed their names to. Alois Alzheimer, Lou Gehrig, Jeffery Double-murder.”
Interestingly enough, despite the infancy of the program it is already seeing some success, with keen investors lining up to bid for choice lots. Anyone with concerns or questions relating to the project is advised to attend the consultations on Wednesday July 11 in the Jim’s Pattison’s Pepsi-Cola Genocide Awareness Project Annex.
TORONTO (CUP) – Internships can put some real world experience on your resume and even land you a job, but some employers see them as an opportunity to get cheap labour. With students desperate to build their portfolios, working for little or no money can seem like a viable option.
The problem arises from the vagueness of laws surrounding internships, and their lack of enforcement. In the case of unpaid internships, many students end up working in illegal environments without realizing it.
“Unpaid internships are being used as a proxy for entry-level positions and they’re allowing companies to not hire people, but to use a revolving door of unpaid interns to sustain the business and the operations,” says Andrew Langille, a labour and employment lawyer in Toronto.
The Employment Standards Act (ESA) — relevant in both Ontario and British Columbia — states that in order for a position to be exempt from the ESA and from minimum wage laws, it must be “‘hands-on’ training that is required by the curriculum, and will result in a certificate or diploma.” This means that co-op programs can be exempt, but that it is illegal for recent graduates — no longer students — to work at a free internship.
Langille says that internships fall under precarious employment.
“Precarious employment is where you don’t have a lot of ties to the employer; it’s generally on a short-term basis on a contract with the employer. You may not get benefits,” he said. “If you’re making coffee, filing papers, photocopying, inputting data and so on and so forth, it’s probably not a training program, it’s probably illegal and it probably violates the ESA.”
Bruno Quarless* is a senior journalism student who had a summer internship at a well-known Toronto sports network.
“That’s one of the reasons I moved to Toronto, I wanted to work for them,” he said. “Then I found out it would be unpaid, which was OK. Most are, which sucks.”
Quarless was working on search engine optimization content for the network two days per week. During his shifts he would write five to six 500-word stories on major sports, but said he received very little feedback on his work in the four months he was working for the network and didn’t feel that he had benefited at all from his time there.
“Basically I spent two days a week for four months cranking out 2,000 to 2,500 words of useless bullshit that no one saw, with no byline, no money, and not even something that I would put in my portfolio,” he says. “I worked at a place that I always wanted to work at — and hated it and became completely disillusioned.”
Although the laws are vague and the risk of exploitation is always a factor, internships can be an extremely effective means of gaining real world experience before graduation.
“The thing that’s so good about intern programs is that it gives people a relatively simple way to find out if they want to do this stuff, whether they enjoy it, and whether they are good at it,” said Roger Gillespie, the man in charge of hiring student interns for the Toronto Star, which pays its interns.
Gillespie explains that student internships also serve as a way for employers to see potential hires in action before offering a job. He makes it clear that interns should not expect full-time jobs.
“Don’t rely on some notion that you are going to get hired here, because that’s a stupid thing to do,” warns Gillespie.
Last year, the Star employed 22 interns for their three programs, none of whom were hired full-time. The interns themselves often set the pace of competition for scarce positions.
“Almost no one gets into our program who isn’t prepared to give up a chunk of their life,” says Gillespie.
Outworking your peers isn’t always the challenge, especially if you’re a business student. Sometimes staying focused on monotonous yet important tasks is the most difficult part.
Fourth-year business technology management student Paul Benton interned with CIBC World Markets for four months. After a rigorous three-part interview process, he found himself spending hours in front of an Excel spreadsheet filing reports for traders.
“I would say we were being exploited, but we were paid quite well. Twenty-two dollars per hour is at the higher end of the scale,” says Benton.
As boring as it was, the experience paid off.
“Getting a job is a lot easier if you have an internship on your resume. It’s a big part of landing a position after you finish school,” he admits.
Practical work experience is an important part of a resume, but arts industries are less likely to pay for your time.
Louis Calabro is a manager of the Genie and Gemini awards for the Academy of Canadian Cinema and Television (ACCT). The ACCT hires unpaid interns for six-month internships. The workers are required to come in for 12 hours per week.
“We’re a not-for-profit organization so we don’t have a lot of excess cash floating around,” explains Calabro. “The internship is a way to provide experience for somebody who’s maybe just coming out of school or who may be in school at the same time. It’s not really meant to be a situation where you’re going to be making tons of money.”
The ACCT generally hires interns from arts and science programs. The interns’ responsibilities range from labeling, filing, and boxing things up, to putting together screener packages for nominating committee members and organizing information for the nominating committee. “We function like any production company would on the office side of things. So I truly believe that does provide a lot of experience,” he says.
While internships provide real-world experience before graduation, there are other ways to build a resume and break into your chosen profession, argues Ivor Shapiro, chair of Ryerson’s journalism program.
“There are other ways to gain professional experience,” he says. “I find that increasingly many students in the journalism program are working at a professional level almost from day one and keep on doing so even if it’s as a freelancer, part-time, or contract, in their summers or spare time.”
Despite this, the job market’s demand for practical workplace experience is a reality for most Ryerson students.
“This has a wider impact on society because people are putting off life milestones, such as getting married, moving out of their parents’ home, entering into relationships, having kids, buying a house, saving for retirement,” says Langille.“This is a phenomenon that is affecting [current] generations and will affect the coming generations that are entering the labour market.”
*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED

By Ms. X
“To me, summer is usually full of parties, beaches and, most importantly, hook-ups, but as a summer student, I spend so much time up on the freaking mountain. How am I supposed to meet a hottie while I’m stuck in classes all day?”
Summer and fling are two words that seem to fit naturally together. With the sun out, bare skin is finally back in style. It can be hard to keep our focus in class, and being stuck in labs all day can definitely interfere with our potential to meet our July and August lover. As summer students, there are definitely ways to work around our credit hours and even use them to our advantage to ensure we don’t miss out on any sexy summer adventures.
First off, we are all in the same boat. Though campus may look a tad sparse compared to other times, it is still thriving with students looking for some kind of distraction. We’ve all zoned out while our prof explains the difference between covalent and ionic bonds, instead focusing on the eye candy ahead of us and wondering whether they’re already bonded to someone for the summer. Take the first step: find a seat nearby them in the next lecture and strike up a conversation. The good news is that being in the same class you already have something in common and an easy first line. Not only will sitting next to them give you a reason to go to class on sunny days, it may also lead to some free lessons in anatomy.
Who said the library is strictly for studying? Being stranded on top of Burnaby Mountain can have its advantages, you just have to think creatively. The library and AQ are full of empty corners perfect for a steamy study break. After all, they say taking breaks are key to getting As.
Another plus of SFU in summer is that the AQ pond is in its prime, always filled with students taking advantage of the sun. This area seems to be our campus’s equivalent to the beach, with under-clothed hotties and groups of tanned beauties throwing around Frisbees. I say, there is no better place to finish up those readings before class.
If you have lucked out and found a fling to spend time with on campus, take advantage of the beautiful surroundings SFU places you in. Take a walk over to Burnaby Mountain Park for a cute date. The view is instant romance and if you two are up for it look for a patch of isolated woods and really get in touch with nature.
Though it seems that being stuck in classes over summer would limit your hookup and fling potential, in reality, it can work in your favour. Don’t be afraid to strike up conversation with a cutie in class, or explore areas of campus deemed “off limits.” The sun and surroundings at the Burnaby campus make the perfect combination for great distractions while studying. So enjoy your summer and don’t worry about missing out on flings; with some creativity, SFU can be just where you need to be.
SFU’s magician emeritus. A profile piece on a unique character who loves to spread joy through magic and putting a smile on people’s faces.
Created by: Julian Giordano, Jeremy Mamisao, San Aung
Starring: Dim Sum the Magnificent (Eric Chan)