By Kelly Thoreson
Sheer white dresses, flip flops, tan lines, and more skin and sweat than in even the steamiest of Harlequin novels; the summer fling is one of the more romanticized relationship types out there and often serves as a sort of rite of passage for many on their journey to “real” relationships later on. But who is to say that those flings aren’t “real” enough in themselves?
Like the summer fling, students often go through “semester flings.” You walk into class on the first day of the semester and sit down next to the person you would most like to get to know. Three weeks later, you actually muster up the courage to talk to them. From there you might enjoy many activities together: riding the bus, going to the library, even grabbing some coffee. At the end of the semester, you still haven’t got their telephone number — but you promise to keep in touch via Facebook. Two semesters later, you can hardly remember who this random face in your News Feed is.
Like summer flings, these semester flings are intense and fun, but usually have an expiry date. Marie Zaleschuk and her business project management class team hoped to address these flighty friendships with SFU Matchmaker, an online compatibility quiz and speed dating event held at Club Ilia earlier this month. According to Zaleschuk, students’ attitudes towards relationships and school are among the major issues with developing meaningful relationships at SFU. “We want[ed] to set up space for people to meet others that want to meet others,” she said, explaining that it is often difficult to determine whether students you meet in classes are interested in developing lasting friendships — let alone romances!
For those of you who missed the opportunity to mingle with other SFU singles at the event, The Peak is here to provide some tips on how to get connected this summer.
Become a regular
Favourite venues on campus like the Highland Pub, Nature’s Garden, and veggie lunch in Forum Chambers all have their worshippers. Join them. Many a friendships have been struck on Wings Wednesdays at the Highland! Even if you can’t connect with other regulars, you can always be that person who chats up the staff, right?
Tip: If your pockets are feeling a little light, why not try meeting the folks hanging around CJSF, The Peak, Out on Campus, the Women’s Centre, or SFPIRG?
Be the keeper of drink tickets
If there is one stereotype that holds true for university students, it is that they love a good house party. It’s simply a scientific fact. But awkward undergrads might be a bit nervous to join you in a place as intimate as your home, which is why you should take the party elsewhere. Get your club or DSU to throw a pub night at the Highland, and be that guy making sure everyone is having an awesome time.
Tip: Being a keeper of the keg at a house party will have a similar effect.
Become famous
Whether you create critically-acclaimed hip-hop beats, perform magic in Convo Mall, are the Clan’s most controversial fan, or run joke campaigns for the SFSS, creating some notoriety around your name is always a good conversation starter. If nothing else, you get to be “that guy who . . .” — and how cool is that?
Tip: This plan can easily backfire. It doesn’t work so well when you’re infamous. Proceed with caution.
Advertise your interests
Into classic Italian cinema? Medieval literature? X-treme sports? Let your clothes do the talking and screen potential relationships. If your classmate catches the Chaucer reference or comments on your wicked MEC backpack, you have probably found a keeper!
Tip: You can also be the daredevil to comment on another person’s appearance. I know, I know, it’s a wild idea, but just ghost ride that whip and see where it takes you.
Form a study group
Actually talking to the other students in your class is the first step towards making friends with them. Forming a study group is a sneaky but effective way to burrow your way into the contact lists of your classmates. That’s when you snare them with your charm, leaving them unable to resist your friendship.
Tip: Create a group contact list. It’s a low-pressure way for you to share your contact information, and can lead to fun one-on-one hangouts (or romance) later!
Hit the patio
“I don’t really like patios” –Nobody, ever.
Propose an after-class patio session at your favourite bar, restaurant, or café, and you will be fun-cilitator of the semester. Relationship-seekers (both friendly and romantic) will be clamouring for your number just so that they can be invited to your patio escapades more often.
Tip: Do not attempt on cloudy or rainy days.
Don’t reinvent the wheel
Every week there are events in Convo Mall with minimal attendance, clubs without enough members, and student organizations struggling with outreach. Why trouble with all of the hassle of being proactive in your relationship-building when someone else is already doing it for you? Get involved with the SFU community, and it will get involved with you — if you know what I mean.
Tip: You might have to put in some effort once you actually find yourself in these situations, but it is pretty much mapped out for you already.
Really, it isn’t that complicated to develop relationships at SFU. Hold doors open for others, smile more often, give someone directions, maybe even make some eye contact, and you’re off to a great start to being friendly and approachable. The next step is just to open your mouth and say something. Try and avoid the more hostile tactics like, “I disagree with your choice to wear Ugg boots,” and opt for something more complimentary. Griping over shared misery is always a good conversation starter so, go ahead and tear down your professor or class. Once you get your foot in the door to friendship (or more!), jam it in there and keep in contact after the semester is over. Social skills, people — we’re learning them!
